January 21, 2008
The Best of Tynes
If I have to keep posting pictures of Michael Strahan kissing things, I will.One more, and the Postseason Revenge Tour will be complete.
Art sends in this YouTube clip from Coming to America, in which Price Akeem witnessed a similar most-ripping victory.
January 15, 2008
$2.50 For a Bottle of Jesus-Branded Water? Holy Crap, Indeed
I don't know where Spiritual Brands, Inc. got my e-mail — perhaps from the same marketing agency that sent repeated Black Enterprise subscription offers to my home — but the company included me in an e-mail pitch that was apparently meant for both the religious and the retarded.
They are selling, for $2.50 a bottle (less obscene in bulk) religiously themed drinking water under such names as Control Water, Defense Water and Strength Water, which seem to differ only by name, label image and — this is the best part — the prayer you're supposed to recite when drinking it.
In other words, it's all the same shit.
None of the individual product descriptions say what drinks like Essential Water, Focus Water and Freedom Water are supposed to do, so I'll just assume that their 24-pack (for $48) does exactly what Staples' 24-pack of Poland Spring (for $7.89) does ... which is make you pee a whole lot.
Those looking for affirmation that this water is some kind of savior will find the Testimonials page bare, except for a "Coming Soon" promise. A familiar refrain.
January 14, 2008
Giants Celebrate By Kissing Unidentifiable Women
If I had to assemble a list athletes most likely appear in an AP caption that read, in part, "kisses an unidentified woman," after a huge win Michael Strahan would be right up there (with Stephon Marbury battling for the top stop after a huge loss. Nice of the Knicks to throttle the first-place Pistons while no one in the city was watching.)
• Phil Mushnick was on the money in his Sunday column that criticized the current state of ticket-dispensing of big events and in-stadium fan behavior (strictly R-rated; sounds cool till you think about how fun it was when your parents took you to games as a kid).
• In an interview for Sunday's New York Post, Giants defensive lineman Justin Tuck revealed that his favorite meal is fried chicken and collard greens. I expect Al Sharpton to call for someone's job in the wake of the Post furthering stereotypes.
• Did you know Eli Manning is one of the handful of quarterbacks who have posted a 0.0 rating? Did you know the list contains two Hall of Famers, and that Terry Bradshaw has an almost unbreakable record of 3 (out of 19 times in the history of the NFL)?
• Terrell Owens is officially invited to get his "popcorn ready" and watch the NFC championship game on the couch with me. (BTW, Google Images brings up some very interesting results for "get your popcorn ready.") F.U.T.O. At least you remembered to being your crying shades. Maybe you can lend 'em to Hillary now that you ain't got shit to do till September.
• Hey, Romo, next trip to Diarrhea Land is on me. Hope the test-tube shots at Senor Frogs were worth it.
January 9, 2008
Get ESPN the Magazine for 13 Cents an Issue
Just because the holiday-shopping season is over doesn't mean you have to turn into a retail-spending stooge. It's always a good idea to keep handy a batch of sites where communities discuss savings opportunities.
Today, I came across one irresistible deal: 3 years (78 issues) of ESPN the Magazine for $10.62, which works out to 13 cents an issue. Ordering details are posted in this MyCoupons.com thread.
While the magazine often looks like someone barfed up a Crayola box, it's good enough for $3.54 a year. That's cheaper than buying just the NFL Fantasy Draft Preview issue at the newsstand. (The mag's official website is selling subscriptions at $1 an issue. Ha.)
Being a magazine subscriber also entitles you to an ESPN.com Insider account. I don't know how much that's worth to ya.
Some Great Shopping Links:
• MyCoupons.com Internet Deals Forum
• MyCoupons.com Brick & Mortar Deals Forum
January 3, 2008
Amy Fisher to DJ at Her Own Sex-Tape Release Party
Amy Fisher's resumé keeps getting more impressive:
• Shot Mary Jo to claim Joey Buttafuoco for herself
• Is releasing sex tape to follow in Paris Hilton's publicly ridiculed footsteps
And now, she'll be DJing at an NYC release party for said sex tape. (Wikipedia reports that the video was actually released in November across the Net.)
Somewhere, Britney Spears is calling her white trash.