April 25, 2007
Yankees Fan Fashion 101: Headwear
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This is NOT a Yankees cap.
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None of these are Yankees caps.
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This is a Yankees cap.
This is just text put here to stretch out the middle column, since I'm too lazy to figure out a smarter way to do it when there isn't enough text in the post to fill the middle well.
April 24, 2007
Now Pitching For the Yankees ... Charlie Brown
All right, the last few defeats have been as sickening as they come. But I'm not panicking yet, despite what the Daily News tells me.
The Yankees are 8-10 through 18 games. They have a 4.67 ERA.
Last year they were 11-10 through 21 games, ended up leading the majors with 97 wins and coasted to a ninth straight AL East title, by 10 games over the second-place Blue Jays. They posted a 4.41 ERA over 162.
In 2005, the Yankees famously began the season 11-19, as you might expect with Kevin Brown, Randy Johnson and Carl Pavano in the rotation. (Wait, we let Kevin Brown pitch after the 2004 ALCS?) They finished third in the majors with 95 wins and clinched the AL East title in some rat-infested park in New England. They posted a 4.52 ERA over 162.
So, we're right around the same shitty start we're used to by now. The ERA is hardly statistically significant after 11.1% of the season. The last two division champs would've given up only a few less earned runs through 18 games.
• What's going on with Don Mattingly? My all-time favorite player retires and we win a World Series. Donnie Baseball leaves his post as hitting coach and Alex Rodriguez has his best month ever.
• Giambi is starting to mash a bit. Which we need. Remember, a walk for Giambi counts less than a walk for most, because he's a load of bricks on the basepaths.
• Backup catcher Will Nieves doesn't have a hit since 2002. Yet he beat out Todd Pratt for a job in spring training. Yeesh.
April 23, 2007
James Evans Is Rolling Over in His Grave
Dear, God. Now is a good time to send that bolt of lightning to my skull.
From Reuters: "Actor Jimmie 'J.J.' Walker of the television series Good Times and columnist Ann Coulter pose as they arrive together for the taping of the 5th Annual TV Land Awards..."
Previously: "Ann Coulter Is a Cunt 77,400 Times Over"
The Fall of Western Civilization: Part 692,213
Went down to Steve & Barry's this afternoon to check out the $14.98 Starbury line of sneakers, which got good reviews from a couple of guys I hoop with at the local YMCA.
The sneakers were recently featured on HBO's Real Sports, which examined the cultural impact they could have in inner-city communities, where $150 sneakers have long been over-valued as status symbols ... too often leading to violence.
At Steve & Barry's, the exclusive dealers of the product line, I was met with mostly empty shelves (save for a bunch of size 15s) and a sign that hinted to me that greedy sharks are already circling the kiddie pool.
Due to limited supply and to be fair to all customers.
Starbury footwear is limited to TEN PAIRS per person per day.
Steve & Barry's
Now, how do you think this sign became necessary in the first place? TEN PAIRS PER PERSON PER DAY?
Is it any shock that there are more than 300 Starbury sneakers on eBay, most of which offered for 60% higher than retail, before adding $11 shipping?
How's that for an uppercut of irony?
On a more positive note, I tried on this Starbury Bowery model, which seems perfectly fine to kick around the summer in. For $15, just beat 'em up at the beach/park and toss 'em when they fall apart. Bowery comes in various colors.
April 19, 2007
A-Rod Still Can't Fit In
There's Alex Rodriguez, again acting better than everyone else.
Batting .351 with 10 home runs and 26 RBIs through 14 games.
Just relax up there, dude. Stop trying to do too much.
Random Thoughts:
• In time, unspeakable grief and sorrow will give way to intense anger as more and more details of the Virginia Tech killer's life are exposed. So many clues were missed. The guy did everything but dress up as Charles Manson for Halloween.
• I thought Nikki Giovanni's address at Va. Tech was amazing. For me, it was the perfect delivery of powerful words. Others disagree.
• The Imus thing? Dude should go into hip hop. Get some Grammys outta that talk. Maybe a Chrysler commercial deal.
• At Yankee Stadium on Opening Day, the always-genius bleacher creatures — the ones whom the Yankees won't even bother sell beer to anymore — chanted "We Want Bernie!" Which means they want a player on the roster who does nothing above average.
• After the second game at Yankee Stadium, in which A-Rod did not get a late-inning hit in a big spot, I saw a Skankee (female trashy Yanks fan usually spotted wearing a pink hat with a rhinestone NY and hanging out with her beater-and-visor-wearing boyfriend) chanting, "Fuck You, A-Rod!" This a day after he hit an eighth-inning homer that sealed win No. 1. I forget that for five months out of the year I don't mix with those people. It's like a culture shock when I run into them again.
• You know who you'd think would've penned a kick-ass autobiography by now? Hugh Hefner. I only recently came across this one that Publisher's Weekly panned. He should write something like "How to Bang a Lot of Broads." Can't imagine that not being a best-seller.
• I'm not one to get upset about MySpace placement, but when people I hang out with have Derek Jeter and not me as a Top 8 friend, I definitely notice.
• Is it just me, or is there a vastly higher percentage of dumb people among the super-rich than there was in other periods of history?