I always knew that Don Mattingly was out on the left coast, sporting an alien uniform of some sort, perhaps dining on sprouts between innings. Considering I'd rather read the phone book than sit through a late-night National League baseball game, the concept of the Greatest Living Ballplayer dressed in anything but Yankees pinstripes was out of sight and out of mind.

That is, until I searched eBay for Mattingly jerseys and came up with this auction for a Dodgers No. 8 Mattingly jersey.

All I can think is "This can't be happening!" and "Make it stop!" (Mirroring the emotions of Levi Johnston at Palin family dinners.)