Where to begin with these loons?

• First, that's former steroid-aholic dad working suntan oil on his daughter's ass.

• Second, jailed son pleads with oil-boy dad to "work on that reality deal" so that it's all lined up for when he's released from the pen. (prison call transcript | Nancy Grace segment)

• Third, insane mother (in transcript above) claims that the mother of John Graziano, the passenger-turned-vegetable in Nick's speeding car, is "not suffering. I am! I have the loss."

Don't worry, lady, your poorly raised, punk son will be back in your family's undemanding embrace, hitting the reality TV airwaves upon release (ready, set, go!) and putting more lives at risk by tacking onto this illustrious driving record (before he's even 18!):

• Sept. 26, 2006 — ticketed for 115 mph in 70 mph zone
• Feb. 8, 2007 — ticketed for 57 mph in a 30 mph zone
• April 25, 2007 — ticketed for 106 mph in 70 mph zone
• Aug. 10, 2007 — ticketed for 82 mph in 45 mph construction zone
• Aug. 26, 2007 — crashes while racing on public stretch, causing injuries to former U.S. Marine Graziano that are expected to keep him in a nursing home for life