As you're aware, I'm a softball whore. Playing four games a week, on average, provides me with the "exercise" that Guitar Hero does not, introduces me to a wide variety of friends (and more importantly, bars), and exposes me to the most tired, pathetic, wasn't-funny-the-first-200-times "joke" out there...
... the fake charge of the mound after getting hit with a slow-pitched softball.
Oh god, does this one drive me nuts. I could play against an entire team of players wearing No. 69 and not dream murderous thoughts as instantly as when someone gets hit with an errant softball pitch, holds the bat like a club and takes a few fake, angered steps toward the mound.
Even Carlos Mencia wouldn't steal that bit.
Extra credit: What are the lamest attempts at humor you are constantly subjected to? (Outside of my writing.)
Previously: Characters You Meet on a Softball Field
Other Random Thoughts:
• I Saw It: A man wearing khaki shorts, olive-green socks and lavender Crocs. So wrong on about 56 levels.
• I Saw It, Part II: A man picking his nose in public and doing it with as much vigor as any public pick I've ever witnessed ... while handing out menus.
• No one forms an instant, magical white mass on his tongue and hocks a more perfect loogie than Mariano Rivera. It's like his saliva is in solid form.
• Motivation Free of Charge: There was a day when someone had to show Mozart which key was Middle C. (Of course, he was probably a lot smarter than you, but you get my point, right? Masters of anything started out knowing nothing.)
• People throughout history have been hated for what they have thought and how they have affected others. Interestingly, Paris Hilton is hated despite us not knowing what she thinks about much of anything, not does her life seem to adversely affect anyone. She's just a dumb ho, life's Internet-created villain who embodies humanity's pleasure in the failures of others.
• Tried to pay a $10 tab at McDonald's with a $50 bill. The cashier insta-moaned, "Do you have anything smaller?" Two $20 bills are apparently hard to come by for change ... by McDonald's ... in New York City.
after bartending for 7 year i can't stand when someone hands me an empty beer bottle and says some variation of "there must be a whole in it" or "i think there is a whole in it". I want to punch them in the face.
Posted by 4thandrent at June 19, 2007 7:25 PM