When CBS revealed the field of 16 in the South, the fourth and final region to be announced, I kept waiting for Syracuse to come up. 10 seed? Nope. 11? Nah, not allowed to go up against Louisville.

Uh... 12 seed? Anything? Bueller? Bueller? Lunardi?

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!

There are a few arguments for Syracuse being in the field of 64, most notably a 10-6 record in a major conference and a recent thrashing of Georgetown, the Hoyas' only loss in their last 18 games. And there are arguments against the Orange: terrible non-conference resumé, and a relatively weak Big East slate. Punching the dance card or snubbing teams like this is akin to hitting or sticking on 16 in blackjack when the dealer shows a 10. There's a technical "correct" play, but in the end it doesn't really matter; you're gonna lose your money way more often than not anyway. (SU vs. "in" teams, all equally blah.)

I never cried for underachieving traditional powers when they failed to get a crummy 11 seed, and I ain't gonna do it now. But I am surprised that nobody really saw this coming. I checked Joe Lunardi's Bracketology almost every day since we throttled G'Town, and 'Cuse was always in and never even listed as one of the "Last Four In" on the bubble. Even guy who lives to get these right whiffed badly on Syracuse. He's probably more pissed than I am.

OTHER THOUGHTS (SOME OF WHICH ARE WAY OLD):

• I'm headed down to Tampa on Thursday for Yankees spring training and really hope that the combination of St. Patrick's Day and Spring Break — the baking soda and vinegar of amateur partiers — brings out the same photo ops as when I snapped a pic of this underwear-less skank overseeing a senseless closing-time street fight.

• Do flies shit?

• How soon before we see a porn spoof, about a hooker who makes in-calls only at odd hours, titled An Inconvenient Ruth?

• Kid-sized Pacman Jones jersey on eBay. Perfect gift for the future criminal in your life.

Jones has been questioned by police in 10 separate incidents since being drafted in April 2005. Disgusting. His employer doesn't seem to care much, because he's really fast.

• Pretty soon Kobe Bryant is gonna claim that stabbing a defender with a knife is part of his natural shooting motion.

• Here's hoping actress Melissa Sweet's credits on IMDB.com someday expand further than "Slutty Girl."

• When ESPN used an image of Brendan Shanahan being carted off the ice on a stretcher as a teaser to keep viewers through a SportsCenter commercial break, the network hit a new low. (Did this man get paralyzed? Stay tuned!) Which it probably topped the next day.

• Saw the beginning of a Gonzaga vs. Santa Clara basketball game that featured eight white starters. Neither team was ranked, of course.

• Retrieved my bag at Las Vegas' McCarran Airport last week only a few feet from Brian Urlacher, who must've flown in on the same plane from Chicago. It was the closest I've ever been to a man who's had sex with Paris Hilton, and I hope it's a record that will not be broken soon.

• Maybe I'm not peering down the right dark alleys, but what about modern Vegas screams Sin City? It's like an expansive, expensive ($25 buffet brunch, $30 club cover) mall. Fun, but I wouldn't say altogether deviant. Truly sinful experiences are not served up by men in suits who call you "sir" and carry your bags. Maybe it's because some of things that are supposed to impress — the high-rollin' action junkies, overpriced strip clubs, VIP access that separates people into categories of worth — have the opposite effect on me.

• I know I'm late on this, but did you see the effort LeBron James gave in the Skills Challenge of the NBA All-Star Game? I try harder than that when I take a dump.

• How much would Dominique Wilkins hate to see the NBA scrap the slam dunk contest? Is any Hall of Famer's legacy so tied to an annual exhibition?

• If you're a tall, black man, say 6-7 or more, and you weren't in Vegas during All-Star weekend, you probably missed the easiest opportunity to get laid ever.

• Anyone else check out every seat in first class when boarding a plane to see if anyone famous is on the same bird? (I'm always disappointed, BTW.)

• I'm glad I DVRed the Oscars for the next time I have trouble falling asleep. It was so boring, the people on the remembrance reel were probably glad they were dead.

• Think you've been to hell? You probably don't work customer support for flower-delivery websites on Feb. 15, when they must receive a zillion complaints about orders that passed through an equal amount of brick-and-mortar affiliates.

• Anyone who purchases a Man of the Year DVD for $19.99 at Circuit City should be arrested on the spot. We can't let crazy people like that just roam the streets.

• If your bar employs test-tube shot girls and plays songs like "Come On Eileen" that pander to the after-work dork crowd, I want no part of it.

• You'd think paying Manny Ramirez $18 million would give his employer power to dictate when he reports to camp.

• Only in Dallas, where football is king even while the Mavericks are destroying the entire NBA, do newspapers dish on such things as Terrell Owens not knowing the Cowboys playbook, at a time when even Ron Jaworski doesn't want to talk about the NFL for another month.

• In 2008, my vote goes to the presidential candidate who promises that all future editions of Guitar Hero include bonus tracks that do not suck balls.