Any day now, I expect to come across a picture of Stacy Keibler on the set of Celebrity Fit Club. It's getting that bad for some of the women I've fantasized about over the years.

We all know about Britney Spears and her physical downfall, which is so clearly a product of drug addiction and mental instability. But hey, yuk it up, people!

But here's one I didn't know till this week: Jenna Jameson resembles a RealDoll, which is quite ironic. I don't know what to credit for this tragedy, but I think we can cross off "natural aging." Jenna is only 32.

Today's Web Finds:

• Sword-Wielding Virgin Mistakes Porn Sounds for Rape — You probably know this story about the guy who busted into his neighbor's apartment because he thought the porn-video sounds he heard were cries of rape. Nope, just loneliness.

• YouTube: Chris Russo Goes Nuts on NFL Turning Blind Eye to Thugs — The Mad Dog becomes furious over the NFL's gutlessness when it comes to reprimanding its players for thugging it up. (Thanks, Tom)

• Vegas Workers Steamed Over NBA All-Star Weekend — No tips, no courtesy, no feeling of safety — the same sentiments I heard from everyone who told me about their experiences. Said one pit boss: "An NBA team coming here? Not if anyone who lives here has anything to do with it." I don't think it's an NBA problem, per se. It's an inconsiderate, obnoxious lifestyle that extends from the rich to the poor, for those who wanna bring the hip-hip video to the streets. And you couldn't pay me to attend the All-Star Game in New Orleans next year. (Link found on Deadspin)

• NYC Cabbie Returns Diamond Rings to Tightfisted Tipper — A native of Bangladesh returned 31 diamonds left is his cab. Now that's a man who can sleep at night.

• Amazon: Nacho Libre Costume — In case you want to dress up like the title character from a horribly disappointing movie.

• Office Space Kit — Includes Milton's red stapler, starter flair, an Initech mug and more. Perfect for a Secret Santa office-party gift ... which I guess you really don't care about in February.

• Crossover: The Worst Movie Ever — No Oscars for the film that holds the No. 1 spot on IMDB's Bottom 100 list.

• Wikipedia: In Finnish, 'Third Eye' means 'Asshole,' Although it Is Not Necessarily Offensive — Or so says the entry on the band Third Eye Blind.

• YouTube: Poker Star Tony G. Earns Rep of Being a Douche at the Table — Ralph Perry calls all-in re-re-raise pre-flop with K-J and gets lectured on card discipline from a guy who can't keep himself out of a donut shop for more than three hours.

• Top 10 Proposition Bets — Some of the bizarre (and high-stakes) wagers poker players have made away from the tables.

• YouTube: Carry Me Home on Guitar Hero II — It's the only song (up till that batch) that I can't beat on Hard level. And this dude shreds it. It's altogether awesome and pathetic.