PaulKatcher.com: Review: 'Rocky Balboa'

Viewed on its own, Rocky Balboa is Thousand Dollar Baby, a lame contender against the best of its boxing-movie breed. Considering the down slope of the Rocky franchise, however, it was a movie that had to be made, and it does a decent job of wrapping up the series without a bad aftertaste.

For 16 years, our last image of Rocky was winning a street fight against a pompous protégé, knocking out his cartoonish Don King-like promoter and winning back the love of his son, whom he saves from the trite perils of cigarettes and earrings. Rocky Balboa gives us a better ending to the series. Perhaps no more complex, but at least more satisfying and appropriate.

I generally don't enjoy sports movies, as I'm usually distracted by thoughts of why certain moments would never play out the same in real life. I imagine lawyers and military vets have the same issues with courtroom and war flicks, respectively. Rocky Balboa was filled with such unrealistic moments:

• Rocky is a restaurant owner (Adrian's, plastered with images of his deceased wife) of apparent meager means. He drives a crappy car, lives in a crappy apartment. Yet, everyone calls his name and asks for pictures. Any ultra-popular, universally recognizable sports legend can make a mint these days in appearances, licensing deals, and other forms of sports marketing.

• The bout between current champ and Mason Dixon is dreamed up because of a virtual ESPN video-game tournament that attempts to determine the greatest heavyweight of all time, regardless of era. Heading into his fight with Dixon, Balboa's record is stated as 57-23-1 with 54 KOs. Does that sound like a contender for No. 1 all-time to you?

• Dixon's promoter concocts the exhibition against Balboa, in part because it promises a purse of $15-20 million. Rocky's take, which should be as substantial, is never mentioned, as if it would have no effect on his life, or those of his son and brother-in-law Paulie, both of whom grind it our 9-to-5. Not to mention the quality of food at Adrian's.

• Too often, Rocky goes from forgotten has-been to iconic legend, whatever fits the story best at that particular time.

• However old Balboa is supposed to be in the film — this one came out 30 years after the original — it's ridiculous to think he could compete with a champion, in his prime, considered to be one of the top heavyweights ever. Insanely unbelievable.

These inconsistencies are important. But Rocky V — and to only a slightly lesser degree, the preposterous Rocky IV — left such a craptastic mess that I guess Sylvester Stallone saw it OK to leave a few elephants (don't look!) in the re-arranged room. Whatever, we'll take it.

In Rocky II through Rocky V, Rocky won the title, learned to not let fame and fortune make him soft, avenged a friend's death and battered a poster-boy for modern sports greed. The story in Rocky Balboa most closely mirrors that of the original: taking a best shot for no one else but yourself.

Three decades later, it still works. Just don't expect a masterpiece. Hollywood rarely attempts those.

Rocky Balboa is a sentimental journey, not just for the character, but for the viewer. I was reminded of times spent watching the early movies as a kid, spinning "Eye of the Tiger" repeatedly at 9 years old, running up the steps at the Philadelphia Museum of Art after attending a the 1992 NCAA lacrosse finals. In a movie in which Rocky reflects on his life, you kinda get to do the same.

Links:

Collection of Rocky Balboa reviews on Metacritic.