The Applebee's in Hutchinson, Kansas, seems like one helluva place to work.

The reason is that you can no longer say that it's unheard of for a bartender to receive a $10,000 tip on a $26 tab.

The event is making the rounds on offbeat news sites, and it's being portrayed as some feel-good story straight outta Hollywood. But if there was any doubt that I'm a Grade-A cynic, this will cement it: I think the whole thing is pathetic, defined as "arousing sympathetic sadness and compassion."

That's the way I feel for any man who leaves any woman a $10,000 tip for any service that doesn't include whipped cream and a few rounds of naked Twister.

There's a chance, of course, that this was a wholly altruistic act by the anonymous (at least publicly) tipper. But I ask, Is anyone remotely shocked that the recipient was a female?

Good-heartedness may have played a role, but, I suspect, not as much as dick-hardedness.

We've all heard tales of exorbitant tips left for people in the service industry, especially when a brain-clouding agent like alcohol is involved. (It may or may not have been here.) And, almost without fail, it's a female who's on the receiving end of a male's (take your pick): a) generosity; b) impulsive stupidity; or c) deperate attempt to get laid. There's a pattern there, and this story certainly fits.

The recipient, Cindy Kienow, says her semi-regular customer routinely over-tipped (about 100% of the tab, it seems) and, since she and him generally only engaged in small talk, doesn't know what would have compelled him to leave $10,000. Which only makes it more likely that he's a nut!

Does he hold down a high-paying job (one that allows him to eat regularly at a Hutchinson, Kansas, Applebee's)? Is he independently wealthy? Is he lonely? Does he speak of female companionship? Does he speak of helping those in need? Does he get drunk a lot? Did he get drunk this time? Did she ever imply that she could use some extra cash?

Ya gotta have some idea why the guy left the money. If not, let me clue you in: he has a penis and you have a vagina.

Today's Web Finds:

• Video: Frightened Fat Kid Screaming on Amusement Park Ride — Holy fuck, if you laugh at this, you're going straight to hell. Where I'll meet you, because I found this funny as hell. As does his mom, who's laughing sadistically right next to him.

• Video: Jerry Springer's Best Fights! — Who would've guesed that an episode titled I'm Proud to be a Racist would turn so ugly? The highlight, though, is at the 1:50 mark, when some mullet-sporting dude lobbies threats and falls straight back in his chair.

• YouTube: Best Card Trick in the World — This clip tripped me out, but I love how the commenters are not impressed.

• Flickr Group: 'Flash Your Boobs: The Hottest Girls Are Showing You Her Tits' — 455 members. 3 photos. Jesus H. Christ!

• Gas Powered Party Blender — I was at a party recently where one of these blenders — complete with handlebars that rev up the engine — was being used. Talk about a conversation piece.

• The Internet in 1996 — Screenshots and commentary on some of the hideous web pages that major companies threw out there 10 years ago.

• YouTube: Midget Kicks Regular-Sized Man's Ass on Springer — When this first aired, my buddy called to see if I'd caught it. Um, no. But someone finally put the clip up, and it's a goodie. If nothing else, you have to love the title of the episode: A Prostitute, a Midget & Todd!

• YouTube: MXC Videos — Spike TV's English-overdubbed version of a hilarious Japanese game show is 10,000 better than Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?, Deal or no Deal?, or the rest of the shows that appeal to Kentucky Fried America.

• NYC Unveils 9/11 Memorial Hole — Ooh, The Onion, you're so bad. So bad. (Yet genius.) "From the wreckage and ashes of the World Trade Center, we have created a recess in the ground befitting the American spirit," said New York Governor George Pataki from a cinderblock-and-plastic-bucket-supported plywood platform near the Hole's precipice.

• Video: Super Trampoline Basketball — His pain is our gain.

• ESPN.copm's NFL Power Rankings: Week 1 — I love that this is a true poll among "experts," not just one man's opinion, but if I read one more time that the Giants' schedule is brutal, I'm gonna punch someone. On an a neutral field I expect us to be as good as anyone.