1. A reliable steroids hook-up
2. A signed will for when you die in a hotel room at 42
3. A cool finishing move

Nothing is more important than the third item. Not even a night of San Francisco cabaret with Pat Patterson ensures success in the WWE like a killer move that renders your opponent motionless (until you share a beer five minutes later in the dressing room).

In lieu of a great finisher, you might try what Triple-H did: marry the CEO's daughter and be written into every main event for 142 years running.

Anyway, here are my personal rankings for some of pro wrestling's most famous finishing maneuvers.

Piledriver
Let's start with an all-time classic. I associate it most with "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff, but it's used by many different wrestlers in many different ways, such as the Undertaker's Tombstone. The reason this one kicks ass is that, when done right, it looks so real. And, sometimes, they are real, as botched piledrivers have accounted for many serious injuries. And I'm not talking "Iron" Mike Sharpe-type injuries, either. While Pete Rose getting Tombstoned at Wrestlemania was one of WWE's all-time funniest moments, it was also one of the phoniest, as Kane took extra care with Charlie Hustle's Brillo head to make sure it didn't come within a foot of the mat. (See video here.)
Rating: 9/10

Rikishi's Stinkface
Say what you will about Vince McMahon, but he owns a billion-dollar empire and still wrote himself into a scenario in which he took a faceful of ass from a 400-pound mountain of sweat. I'm not exactly sure that this is a "finisher," but it's good enough. (Here are some great pics from a "stinkface match between The Kat and Terri.)
Rating: 6/10

Polish Hammer
I rate Ivan Putski's finisher pretty high despite its simplicity. While basically the clasping of one's hands and delivering a swinging blow, it carried a legitimacy we don't see when a fallen opponent "catches" a high-flyer to soften the blow for both. Sometimes less is more.
Rating: 7/10

Stone Cold Stunner
This one worked well because it was quick and vicious, like when that dude at Scruffy Duffy's farted next to me and tried to play it cool — like I couldn't figure it came from the only guy who'd just downed consecutive orders of wings. Bonus points for clearing a ring in like four seconds, then flashing a double middle-finger salute to a crowd of kids.
Rating: 7/10

S.D. Jones' Finishing Maneuver
I don't know what it was, because S.D. never won a match, but I'm sure he had something great planned.
Rating: 8/10

Hulk Hogan's Atomic Leg Drop
Other than people publicly bitching about Paris Hilton being famous for doing nothing (and, thus, giving her more attention), nothing is more ironic than the most famous wrestler ever having the worst finishing move. It took forever to set up and looked like it did more damage to Hogan's ass than it did to his opponent. I swear I could have kicked out of this thing.
Rating: 0/10

Total Penetration
Wikipedia says that's the finishing maneuver of some ECW guy named Big Dick Dudley. Remind me never to watch ECW.
Rating: 0/10

Dudley Boys' Table Slam
I don't know what you call this thing, but any time you slam Mae Young through a table, it works for me. It's the wood that makes it good.
Rating: 8/10

Sgt. Slaughter's Cobra Clutch
A more vicious version of the sleeper (which sucked; way too fake), Slaughter used his opponent's own arm to choke the shit out of him and shake his neck with such force it was as if he was trying to pop some maggot's head open like a zit.
Rating: 8/10

The Iron Sheik's Camel Clutch
Not to be confused with the camel toe, this move stretched one's torso area with the strain of Joan Rivers' face. The Iron Sheik became WWF champion, in 1983, by locking the Camel Clutch onto Bob Backlund, who would not submit. Luckily for the Sheik, Backlund's manager, Arnold Skaaland, was a huge pussy and threw in the towel for him.
Rating: 8/10

Ric Flair's Figure-Four Leglock
If you ever tried this one at home, you know it totally works, but you have to get it right, else your opponent's heel crams right into your balls. Not good! You don't want to forever ruin your chances of having kids when you're only 14. (But if you're trying this with friends after age 14, you're probably not in line to find a woman with whom to have kids anyway.) Three familiar scenarios with the figure four: 1) The potential applicant gets kicked in the ass and into the ropes as his attempts to spin the leg; 2) Someone rolls over and reverses the pressure onto the original applicant; and 3) The applicant leans back to grab some rope, while the ref is looking elsewhere and the announcer wails bloody murder. As if shaking a rope does jack shit to increase the pressure on the leg. Lack of devastation validates the low rating.
Rating: 6/10

Jimmy Snuka's Superfly Splash
My favorite move of all time, because it was so much more dramatic and acrobatic than anything of its time. Couple of great things about it: 1) The anticipation that it was coming, when Snuka climbed the ropes, really got the crowd going; and 2) There was always an expectancy that the next splash would be his best ever. No two ever seemed the same. Greatest superflies ever: A) The one he missed against in a steel cage match against Bob Backlund in 1982; and 2) when he leapt from the ring, over the top rope, to clock a suit-wearing Don Muraco, who interfered before the start of Sunka's match with some jabroni.
Rating: 10/10