Many years ago, I was in a science museum or planetarium, or some other place I never go, and watched a movie that cleverly put into perspective the size of a major city compared to its country, the size of that country to its continent, to Earth, to the Sun, to our galaxy (Milky Way), only one of approximately 10 billion galaxies.
I walked out of there without a care in the world.
Texas Rangers fan Shumpy, fresh of a Yankees sweep, passed along a link today titled The Size of Our World, which also visually demonstrates how small Earth is to other known planets and stars.
In the upper-right image, the Sun renders Earth about the size of a few pixels. In the bottom image, the Sun is about 1 pixel when compared to Antares, the 15th-biggest star in the sky.
Still setting that double alarm clock so you're not five minutes late to work?
What I learned that day — besides the fact that I hate kids running around museums, or kids period — is that we make too big of a deal out of small issues. And by small, I mean smaller than a Florida State recuit's SAT score, Jackie Kennedy's tits or Curt Schilling's capacity to shut up.
When people tell me their problems, and I respond by cracking a beer and looking at the Yankees on TV, they think I don't care about them. I do care about them — the people, not the "problems." Because they're not big problems. Big to them, sure, but they shouldn't be. Why? Because Antares which equals the size of 14 quadrillion of our moons.
And I don't mean to trivialize what I learned from a fellow blogger to call "moments of clarity." I live with three of them every day. But they don't include some supposedly important meeting/conference call that will never be mentioned at your funeral. They don't include toilet seats or other subjects of petty spats. They don't include you getting pissed because I noticed you moved your tight end in the backfield of Madden and covered him myself with a defensive back instead of the linebacker you'd hoped to toast.
See, there are BIG things and there are small things. Make sure you give proper attention to each kind.
(Another great tip to putting your problems in perspective: each day, write down everything that bugs you. A year later, review what you wrote down. And laugh. In fact, we'll laugh together next time we crack a beer and watch the Yankees on TV.)
Today's Web Finds:
• For Sale: German Track Pants — I take slight issue with these pants being categorized as a "tendy fashion item." and being described as "hot" and "comfortably funky." Only because they're the ugliest fucking things I've ever seen. (Thanks, Josh)
• Monopoly Board Game Phases Out Paper Money for ... Debit Cards! — Now would be a good time to kill ourselves. Also see: Dane Cook's bit on Operation and Monopoly. (Thanks, Ray)
• Nwe York City Air Show Pics — Suffice it to say, hard for us to capture these cool shots without getting shot down by Bush's zoomies. (Thanks, Shumpy)
• Metacritic: Life Is Beautiful Reviews — Tried watching this, but it was just too annoying to read all the subtitles. Interesting to see the media wasn't impressed, because it's a comedy that apparently employs a Holocaust setting, but users loved it.
• Top 10 Surprisingly Successful Celebrity Marriages — Love the Garth Brooks-Trisha Yearwood joke in there.
• ExxonMobil Becomes First Company to Exceed Sales of $1 Billion a Day — That's only because Britney didn't start that amateur porn site like I told her to in 2000.
• YouTube: Hammerhead Attacks a Tarpon — Here's how little I know about fishing: I don't even know what a tarpon is. But I know what a 12-to-14 foot hammerhead shark is, and I know I'd run like fucking hell if one attacked a fish I was reeling in. Not these guys. They hang around without a care in the world.
• Did Dane Cook Rip Off Louis C.K.? — Listen to three similar jokes on the audio clip and judge for yourself. (Found on College Humor)
