According to Wikipedia's fuck table, which — unlike the one in Anna Benson's dining room — is a list of films ordered by uses of the word fuck, Scarface has since been dusted been by such films as Goodfellas, Casino, and even some movies that didn't star Robert DeNiro.

But they've all been blown away by the most fucktastic film of all fucking time, Fuck, billed as "a documentary on the expletive's origin, why it offends some people so deeply, and what can be gained from its use."

The word fuck, and its variations (fuckwad? fucknut?) is used 629 times in only 93 minutes, a whopping 6.79 fucks per minute. You can't even get that kind of vulgarity in a Belmar, N.J, night club. Sounds like a winner.

Today's Web Finds:

• 10 Things Your iPod Won't Tell You — "My battery life is pathetic" should not be on this list. All iPods tell you this. It's Apple who doesn't.

• 2006 World Cup Television Schedule — I'm gonna try to get into this, I swear. See ya at the bar on June 12 at noon, when the U.S. kicks off against the Czechs. First team to score one goal wins, right? (Found at Flash Warner)

• Drinking Across Europe — Speaking of the World Cup, my buddy Ayan plans to document his upcoming Germanic adventure — as well as jaunts to the Netherlands, Finland, Poland, and as many as 20 other countries — on this blog. I hope the ladies are ready for Harlem's biggest (only?) hockey fan. Good luck, bro.

• Paris Hilton Doesn't Change Facial Expressions — View this animated image more than three loops, and you'll be seeing her in your sleep. Nightmares only, of course.

• First Ever New York City Exotic Erotic Ball Slated for June 17 — Sounds like a lot of fun, but how do you hide a fetish costume when hailing a cab in June? Not like you can fashion an overcoat on top it. Gotta love this answer to whether or not nudity is allowed. "We post signs everywhere that say 'No Nudity.' But do people listen? We wish they did."

• Rebecca Romijn Likes Her Sex Kinky and Public — The UK's News of the World ain't exactly the paper of record, but the SI swimsuit model is quoted as saying, "I love to be nude and I love sex. Being a dominatrix in the bedroom, sex in cars and in public places all turn me on. And I love fantasising about being naked on an island with lots of other naked people." All of that can be arranged, especially the last part.

• Rony Seikaly Is No One-Woman Man — The former Syracuse center's estranged wife/model Elsa Benitez motions for immediate custody of their kids, saying something about there being a "new girlfriend." Seikaly responds, "I have lots of girlfriends." Let this be a lesson to all you kids out there; grow up to be 6-11 if at all possible.

• Avril Lavigne Lookin' Good at Cannes — I always thought that Avril (now 21) could do better than that punk look. Here's proof. A comment under the post claims that she's engaged to "that ugly guy from Sum 41." OK, can we narrow that down a bit?

• Video: Man Impersonates Iron Sheik's Rant on Brian Blair — If you've seen the hilarious original, you know how talented this man is. "I shoulda fucked you in da ass, but I didn't out of respect."