Then another coworker followed, "Yeah, and even then he's not happy."

To this day I get a laugh out of that, still wondering if I can spin that into me being always happy.

So, of course I got a chuckle out of last weekend's Debbie Downer sketch on Saturday Night Live, starring Rachel Dratch as the glass-ain't-even-near-half-empty sap who drags down her friends while attending a bachelorette party in Vegas male strip club.

To wit:

"Hey, can anyone open up this Citrucel packet? I haven't moved my bowels since our layover in Phoenix. I guess that's what they mean by the power of cheese."

Best check out the video now, as I think SNL is pretty vigilant about getting its videos taken down from the 'Net, due to something called "copyright infringement," which I'm not too familiar with. Thus, the Coin Slot lubrication sketch video was taken off YouTube. (Though NBC didn't quite stop the spread of the Lazy Sunday rap. I'm sure the network is ruing all the free attention that thing got.)

So, as I'm writing this, I find out that Debbie Downer is a recurring character and has her own entry on Wikipedia. This is great news, because I felt like such a loser for giving my liver a break and not going out last Saturday, but now I know I was out the last six times she appeared. Awesome.

Today's Web Finds:

• Packers To Favre: 'Take Your Time, Asshole' — Relax, it's a report from The Onion, but hilarious all the way through. Said GM Ted Thompson, "This is a big decision for Brett Favre, and we can't deny that he's the heart and soul of our team, the most important Packer, the most important person in all of America, and the center of the whole entire universe."

• IMDB: Actress Has One Credit, As 'Woman Who Urinates Herself' — Still looking for a part in which she craps herself, I guess. Gorilla Mask found a video of the urinating-herself scene in a movie called Threads, which seems to be a British version of The Day After, one that sports very favorable reviews on IMDB.

• ESPN.com Page 2: Baseball's Most Valuable Players — A well-researched piece that does the "what if everyone started from scratch" thing. A-Rod comes in at No. 3 behind Albert Pujols (fair enough) and David Wright, which I would debate. I have no reason to think Wright won't be a great player. None. But he could have a Hall of Fame career and still not be what A-Rod (career stats) has been for a decade (and, at 30, perhaps a decade more).

• T-Shirt: Ask Me About My Very Large and Attractive Penis — I may have linked to something similar before (and I think a Flinger's-like button would be funnier), but I still get a laugh out of it.

• This Boring Headline Is Written for Google — The New York Times reports on a writing trend, editors being conscious about how attractive their headlines are for search engines — ya know, something I've been doing for years. Hey, welcome to 2000! Does this mean the Yankees are still defending champions? Search-friendly headlines do not have to be boring, however.

• Top 10 Best Designed Blogs — Interesting. Not sure if I agree. I like a pic to accompany every post, obviously.

• "Keibler" Search on Photobucket — Ha! Check out the dude in the second row. Not what most people are searching for, I'd imagine.

• Apple Reports 8.5 Million iPods Sold in Single Quarter — I swear this iPod thing is gonna take off soon. Look for The New York Times to report on it in a couple of years.