On Monday I celebrated racial diversity in a manner that would've made Martin Luther King, Jr. most proud: by trying to wrest money from Native Americans at the Mohegan Sun casino, located about two hours away from NYC in Connecticut. This being such a humane occasion, I almost rooted for the Red Sux fans at our blackjack table. Almost. Let's recap:
• Forgetting that my buddy and I — each lifelong Yankees fans — were invading New England, I was a bit taken aback by the amount of Sux apparel adorned by the mostly ham-and-egger crowd. At first I wondered if there was a breakout at a nearby mental institution. Then I remember that we were close to Massachusetts, so I looked under my feet for rats that may have escaped Fenway.
• The funniest Sux jacket I saw blared SIX-TIME WORLD CHAMPIONS and listed such years as '03. I'm thinking, "Wait, '03 was when Aaron Boone made grown men cry." I'd forgotten that the Boston Pilgrims beat the Pittsburgh Pirates, five games to three, in that classic 1903 World Series everyone still talks about. Besides that, though, it was a cool jacket. We have similar ones here, except ours start with the word TWENTY-.
• Not soon after we sat down, a guy in a Sux cap and jacket joined our table. He and some lady who could pass for Yogi Berra's body-double proceeded to whine about losing Johnny Damon and agreed that Roger Clemens "never looked right in a Yankee uniform." We contended he seemed a good fit in those 1999 and 2000 parades up the Canyon of Heroes.
• The table took a long time to heat up. I split aces against a 6 — one of the best possible best deals. Pulled a 6 on each and lost both. Horrendous. But it was obviously a smart play, unlike doubling on a 10 against an ace, which is what the Sux idiot did. His thought process must've gone something like this: "Well, the house has a bigger advantage now than before the deal, so let's double my risk!"
• The lady was all ready to split 8s against a 10, not exactly a fun play, but in line with basic blackjack strategy. He contended it was a poor play and dismissed "the card" with contempt. I wouldn't have minded if he invoked luck, perhaps sensing a low card to come, but to refute time-tested mathematical probabilities as bunk? Jeez. Anyway, such strategy lost him about $500, by my estimation and, as we were cashing out, his credit cards were being rejected for the third time. Smell ya in April!
Today's News Links:
• Blacks Likelier to Celebrate MLK Day — An Associated Press poll uncovered this shocking stat.
• Small Coffee Company Can Keep 'Charbucks' Name — Score one for Cleo McDowell's Big Mics and Golden Arcs, as well. (Thanks, Art)
• Bad Ticker: Clueless Investors Load Up on Wrong Stock — After a TV analyst recommends a Canadian stock, idiots buy up a crappy American stock with the same symbol on our exchange. Whoops.
• Man Changes Name To KentuckyFriedCruelty.com — The 19-year-old said his new name "never fails to spark a discussion." Which probably includes such questions as, "Are you a fucking moron?" (Thanks, Laurie)
• Baltimore Is Named America's Fittest City — This after Sidney Ponson left the Birds. Coincidence? I think not. Oh, congrats to Chicago on unseating Houston as the country's fattest city, which I thought was impossible.
• Pastor Who Preached Against Gays Arrested After Propositioning Male Undercover Police Officer — He says he was set up. Yeah, all set up to deliver a blowjob.
• Katrina Aftermath Includes Puppy Boom — Guess the pooches took the Bush route and just said, "Fuck it."
• Kid Solves Rubik's Cube in Record 11.13 Seconds — OK, this actually makes the guys who play Halo for 12 straight hours seem cool. Someone get this dude an Xbox 360 stat.
• Mechanic Sucked Into Jet Engine, Dies — Yikes.
Sure you come to CT once I leave!!!!!!!!
Posted by Livia SP at January 17, 2006 3:02 AM