FAMILY OF FAGGOT FANS FLY THE FLAG

A West Midlands family is playing a central role in the quest to raise the profile of a forgotten British dish — faggots.

The Doody family from Wolverhampton has been crowned The Faggot Family in a national competition, and to kick off their reign they will launch National Faggot Week.

The family will be touring the country extolling the virtues of the dish, which is best-known for its links with the Black Country.

The Doody family were chosen to front the campaign after impressing judges at the Savoy Hotel in London in November.

"The nation knows that the Cornish pasty, Yorkshire pudding, haggis and fish and chips are great British dishes, but all too often the faggot is left off that list," said Janet Doody.

Her husband Fred added: "It's unfair because faggots were a British delicacy long before any of the others.

"The great British faggot is full of flavour and a great belly warmer at this time of year."

The family, including Lewis, 13, and Grace, 7, eat faggots twice a week, with mashed potato and mushy peas, and will be launching the awareness campaign on Tuesday at Liverpool University, followed by visits this week to Nottingham, Leeds, Sheffield and Birmingham.

The competition was organised by faggot producer Mr Brain's Faggots.

(Thanks, Rachel, for the link.)

Today's News Links:

• Oy to the World — Joel Stein's amusing column in the Los Angeles Times about how he copes with the Christmas season. "We Jews find it a little embarrassing that adults can still make such a big fuss over Christmas. To us, Jesus was just a cool guy everyone liked because he died young. And even 16-year-old girls eventually take down their James Dean posters."

• Nerve.com Interviews Video-Game Record-Holder — Amazingly, the conversation turns toward masturbation. But Todd Rogers, who once played Atari 2600 for 87 straight hours, says self-love is not for him. "My hands are like fucking sandpaper — if I start jacking off, I'm gonna have some bleedage down there, ya know?"

• File-Sharing on the Ropes After Kazaa User Fined $22,000 — Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

• What Women Need: Sweaty Male Armpits — Being exposed to the smell of a sweaty male armpit can make a woman feel calmer, according to a new study by a U.S. research team. If by "calmer," they mean "passed out from the stench," I believe 'em.

• Digital Photos Even a Miser Can Enjoy — The New York Times rounds up the best digital cameras for under $300, as submitted for the paper's fifth annual cook-off by 12 different manufacturers.

• Chicago Bar Serves Up $950 Cocktail — The Ruby Red comes complete with a one-carat, grade-A ruby, so it's a bit like people who, in order to avoid scalping violations on eBay, sell a Carrot Top DVD for $1500 ... with two Super Bowl tickets thrown in.

• Homer Math Catches Up With the News — A San Francisco Chronicle correction on some Homer Simpson dream sequence in which he wrote that "1,782 to the 12th power plus 1,841 to the 12th power equals 1,922 to the 12th power." Which everyone knows is not valid. Duh.

• Another Jab From JibJab: Bush's '2-0-5' — CNET on the latest animated release from the guys who brought you the 'This Land' short, which was viewed more than 80 million times. At a penny a view, that would have netted $800,000, but it sounds like the venture wasn't that profitable. At least not yet.

• TIME Names Bono, Bill & Melinda Gates Persons of the Year — Good samaritans get the nod over Mother Nature, which would have been my pick. Of course, the U.S. president almost always best fits the criteria for POY, which is "the person or thing that had the greatest impact on the news, for good or ill." Sports Illustrated made a similar selection for 1987 Sportsman of the Year, honoring eight Athletes Who Care. This is Bill Gates' eighth appearance on the TIME cover, which is incredible for a non-head of state. I also made a POY cover appearance last Friday in Times Square.