Take, for example, Melissa, who e-mailed me this story from the Seattle Times. Here's one of the greatest leads to ever appear in a major newspaper:

An Enumclaw-area man who authorities say helped run a farm where people had sex with animals — and where a Seattle man died doing so with a horse — was charged with a misdemeanor yesterday.

Yep, that's people, not person. Yep, that says misdemeanor. Ya see, Washington is one of more than a dozen states that doesn't outlaw bestiality. But you probably already knew that.

Yep, there was a home video. Yep, some some lucky chap at the local precinct was assigned the duty of investigating. "Hey, Miller, watch this video of a horse fucking a dude and see if you recognize the barn."

Another great e-mail came from Kirk, who shared with me this picture from his Halloween weekend as Kid Rock. Now there's a guy who would kill himself if he lost his camera.

And an update on that fiasco. It's clear I wasn't the only drunk idiot to lose a camera in a cab Saturday night. Craig's List's lost-and-found is littered with posts from people who ended up dropping hundreds of dollars on a 10-buck ride home.

I never thought I got the Canon SD500 to work magic, struggled with action shots at ballgames, so I researched quite a bit and bought the comparable Casio Exilim EX-Z750 for $339 with no tax and free shipping. I'll save my trip to the Top of the Rock for when it arrives and post some photos here.

Today's News Links:

• OpenOffice 2.0 Released — A free, downloadable suite of tools that are compatible in opening and viewing Microsoft Office documents, whether it's a PowerPoint presentation, Excel file or Word document. That's why when Dell gives you the option of spending extra money on Word et. al when configuring a new computer, you say no.

• Denver Group Urges You to "Protect our Children" by Legalizing Marijuana — A supporter of the group called Change the Climate says, "If an individual chose to use marijuana instead of alcohol and it happened to lead him to not beat his wife, I would say that's a success." Well, if picked his ass and ate chocolate-covered shards of glass all day, he'd probably be distracted from beating his wife, too, but the word "success" wouldn't come to mind.

• Squirrels Go Nuts on Crack — They might wanna get a job at that Washington farm to support their habit.

• London Boasts England's Only Nude Dance Club — The DJ's not the only one sporting two turntables and a microphone. (Thanks, Shumpy)

• Bush To Nominate Next Person Who Walks Through Door — A brief from The Onion.

• Penis Size Used as Defense in Trial — A man claims his 8½-inch one-eyed trouser snake (in semi-relaxed state) would have caused tearing in a college student who's accused him of sexual assualt. (Found on Double Viking)