If you're like me, you're looking forward to the 2008 election and the end of Dick Cheney's run as president. When the Curse of Dubya is lifted and the Yanks win World Series like they did four times in the Clinton era, we'll know this country is back on track.
And I know just the man for the job: General Zod.
You remember him as the 150-pound beanpole who was supposed to be some kind of bad-ass in Superman II, even though Christopher Reeve could have laid the smacketh-down on his candy-ass while sitting in a wheelchair with 100 pounds of kryptonite in his lap and a flat tire.
According to the General Zod 2008 website, he's already kicked off his campaign in Philly — a city once defined by Maxim as a glorified piss-break between New York and Washington D.C. — by promising to lower taxes and gas prices in return for giving him our homes, possessions and very lives. Sounds like a fair deal to me.
He also shares his thoughts on ending the war in Iraq, making health care available universally and initiating corporate reform. Should he make it to the White House, there will no doubt be a sitcom that, decades from now, will lament in song, "Seems to me we could use a man like General Zod again."
More General Zod Links:
• Where Are They Now? General Zod
• GeneralZod.net: News, Media, Merchandise
• Kneel Before His Wikipedia Entry
Today's Web Finds:
• BulgeReport.com on Which Celebs Have the Biggest Dicks — Found this link from a referring gay-sports forum that was digging SI's picture of five shirtless shortstops I found some time ago.
• Camera Toss (The Blog) — Photogs are capturing some really cool images by flipping their cameras in the air and having the timer expose the pictures mid-flight. Not sure I wanna try this with my cam, though.
• Church Sign Generators — I'm sure you've seen the Notre Dame "Kick USC's Ass" sign everywhere. I doubt it's valid. Anyway, here's a place where you can make some phony ones.
• Kim Kelly's All-Semen Diet — Three years ago, some porn actress lost 15 pounds by gong 30 days on a diet of blowjobs and banana smoothies. Why am I learning about this only now? (Found on Gorilla Mask)
• In Cold Blood: A Legacy — The Lawrence Journal-World's extensive package marking the 40th anniversary of Truman Capote's landmark "non-fiction novel." I saw the movie Capote, about how he researched and wrote the book, on Monday night. It's gotten amazingly positive reviews. I judged it to be smart and well-done, but maybe a little flat and unemotional.
• Weblog Usability: The Top Ten Design Mistakes — Jakob Nielsen's latest Alertbox cites bad usability practiced by too many blogs. Not mine, which hasn't really changed for years. Bio? Check. Pic of author? Check. Descriptive headlines? Check. Descriptive links? Check. Regular publishing frequency? Check.
• Earth Girls Are Easy — Joe Concha asked me to pimp his latest RealHoboken.com column on chicks or relationships or something. Have to admit I don't read a lot of columns online that don't deal with the Yankees, all-semen diets or Verne Troyer pissing naked in the corner of a room.
I hope General Zod sends the Bush Administration away in one of those mirrors.
Posted by Eric at October 18, 2005 11:36 AM