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Monday, August 8, 2005

Review: Wedding Crashers
I have this friend I play softball with. She told me Wedding Crashers was "amazing." Guess who's got an ass-kicking coming as soon as Tuesday?

This chick flick masquerades as a raucous booze-and-sex comedy, but it's little more than a $10.75 castration, the first movie to inspire me to pull my shirt over my head, just so I wouldn't be able to see the screen.

Airplane! was a comedy. The Naked Gun was a comedy. Office Space was a comedy. Old School, American Pie, Caddyshack, all comedies. Dumb & Dumber, a work of art.

Wedding Crashers, however, doesn't know whether it wants to be a Saturday Night Live sketch or a light-hearted episode of Oprah that women love and men are left to wretch over a toilet.

Trim about 30 minutes of sap from this two-hour pile of bullcrap — perfect for amnesiacs who don't remember old jokes — and you might get as much humor as from a half-hour episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Bonus points for some hot pieces of ass, at least.

In Five Words or Less: No Male Could Like This

Wedding Crashers Links:

Rachel McAdams Photo Gallery — Almost 200 pics of the chick who played Claire Cleary, including a bunch of topless screen grabs from My Name is Tanino, whatever the hell that is.

Metacritic.com Reviews — A composite of reviews from major media outlets, including some who don't pander to Hollywood for access and thus can give an honest assessment of "blah." Not talking about you, Entertainment Weekly.

RottenTomatoes.com Reviews — More snippets of reviews, including John Wirt, of the Advocate (Baton Rouge, La.), who writes that "Wedding Crashers is American Pie for grownups." Well, good for the grownups. American Pie 3 — when all the jokes are supposed to be tapped — is a thousand times funnier than this.

Stuff: Girls of Wedding Crashers — Photoshoot with some chicks from the movie. But I think they had like nine seconds of screen time combined.

Category: Quickie Reviews | Permalink | Post a Comment (17)


Comments: Review: Wedding Crashers

I mostly agree with you, but I think you should leave Oprah out of it. Those are fighting words. I tried to watch it but lost interest after about 20 minutes. I found it very difficult to enjoy it. In my opinion Vince Vaughn was just reading out the lines. I like a character that has substence, so that I feel like they are real and I can see the actor as the character not just as themselves. It is late so excuse me if this doesn't make sense. Now give me my prize.

Posted by Shopper Girl at August 8, 2005 1:35 AM

Paul, I couldn't disagree more. Wedding Crashers is the funniest movie I've seen this year. What a bit the the bit when Will Farrell is screaming at his mum for the meat loaf? That bit was jsut too funny. And the reference to "turning left into negative town". I guess I just lcan't get enough stupid humor ...

Posted by Tim Holland at August 8, 2005 3:10 AM

Wedding Crashers was alright for a date movie. I laughed out loud a few times.

If anyone tells you to see Dukes Of Hazzard because it was great, then kick their ass on the spot and still skip the movie. Sucked.

I highly reccomend Murderball. I loved it.

Posted by Cass at August 8, 2005 9:57 AM

Cass is right about The Dukes of Hazzard. That movie was even worse than I expected -- which is saying a lot. I went only because a friend of mine's 13-year-old son was dying to see it. He loved it, so the night was a success.

Posted by Steve at August 8, 2005 10:00 AM

I totally disagree with you Paul. Wedding Crashers was hysterical. Its the best comedy I've seen since Old School.

But, then again I didnt want to rip out my eye balls duing Dukes of Hazzard. I went in thinking I would fall asleep and actually enjoyed it. Especially the Super Troopers in it. Hysterical.

Posted by Livia SP at August 8, 2005 11:18 AM

So, are you saying that seeing 'Bewitched' is out of the question? Dang.
And the best post about 'Dukes of Hazzard' was yesterday on http://freshpepper.blogspot.com/ when he said Jessica is so hot, he'd fuck her sister.

Posted by PeeWee at August 8, 2005 11:19 AM

What is the thinking process by which someone concludes that spending time and money on an obvious hack re-make like Dukes is a good idea?

Telling me to not see that movie is like telling me to not to eat yellow snow. Anyone over 3 years old should be able to figure that one out immediately.

Posted by Paul Katcher at August 8, 2005 11:30 AM

I hated the Dukes of Hazzard when it was on television-- why would I want to go see a Dukes of Hazzard movie? Eeeewww.

I was thinking of going to see Wedding Crashers, but I guess I won't, now. Maybe the boys and I will go see the penguin movie..

Posted by lucy at August 8, 2005 12:40 PM

$10.75???? Man those NYC prices are ludicrous

Posted by Fletch at August 8, 2005 2:12 PM

Yeah I got pulled into seeing Dukes... and hated it. Here's my lame review.

But, when it comes to Wedding Crashers, I thought it was very funny. The football scene was great. But, then again, you hated Anchorman, too.

Posted by CJ at August 8, 2005 4:17 PM

heh. I thought the movie's best humor was wasted in the trailer. I hate it when they do that. I agree with Cass that it's a good date movie.

Those are some of the crappiest and oldest lines in the book that those guys use. I found humor in the fact they showed them actually getting laid using trite shitty pick-up lines.


But I did do a little remake of the trailer and that was fun...
href="http://www.weddingcrashersmovie.com/crashthistrailer/index.htm?id=134502">PK and Shumpy as the Wedding Crashers.

sorry had to shop it real quick.

Posted by
Shumpy at August 8, 2005 4:49 PM

Well, it's no "Hamburger: The Motion Picture", Paul, but Wedding Crashers had its moments.

If you can't laugh at Vince Vaughn getting tied up in bed while various members of the crazy girl's family walk in on him, you can just skip paying money to see comedies - wait 'til they're on cable in a year.

True, the director needed to lop off about 20 mins of girl-sappiness that looked like one, long J.Crew ad; but that was nicely counter-balanced by an opening montage of chicks falling topless into bed that was quite spank-tacular.

Posted by Anchorman at August 8, 2005 8:55 PM

Right, the part with the "homo" brother creating a painting for Vince was one of the few things I laughed at.

Crotch-grabbing under the table? Been there ... in about 1,435 movies.

Family-friendly touch football? Gee, wonder if anyone will take it too seriously! Stevie Wonder could see that coming.

But I just couldn't get past the seriousness of the courtship. Just flat-out embarrassing, and it wrecked whatever redeeming qualities this thing had. I can only imagine what was really going on in Owen Wilson's head after the director yelled cut. My guess: "I can't believe I'm reading this bullshit." So why should I think any different?

Posted by Paul Katcher at August 8, 2005 9:11 PM

I feel the need to redeem myself. I don't pay for movies, so the only thing I'm wasting is maybe $5 on Sweedish Fish and two hours of my time. I can live with that. Unless the movie is that bad (see: Hustle & Flow or The Island), and then I just walk out angry.

Obviously I dont go into Wedding Crashers expecting it to be funnier than Dumb & Dumber, Tommy Boy, or Office Space. It won't. Not many do. That doesnt mean it was a bad movie.

I can see why spending $10.50 to see a remake of a horrible tv show redone sounds bad. If I paid $10.50, I'd definitely be pissed.

Lucy, I don't mean to spoil the Peguin movie for you or anyone else who hasn't seen it, but all of it isn't pretty. Let's just say seals are a part of the movie too.

Posted by Livia SP at August 8, 2005 11:36 PM

I thought March of the Penguins was great technically and a little kid-ified narratively. I give it a thumbs sideways, but you kinda gotta see it in a theater to be able to appreciate the awesome camerawork.

Posted by Paul Katcher at August 9, 2005 1:19 AM

Paul,
I must have seen this movie the same day you did, and I agree. Not that funny.
I am trying to remember a single line from the movie, and I can't. A good comedy is quotable.

It could have been a lot funnier. They wasted Christopher Walken's talent, since they didn't give him one decent line.

Posted by MurphGuide at August 9, 2005 2:01 AM

You could condense the laughs in Wedding Crashers to about a 30 minute TV sitcom. The other 90 minutes was just painful to watch. Bike rides and falling down, romantic sappy stuff on the beach, about to kill himself over a chick. come on either be a funny movie, or be a drama, or be a romantic comedy, dont try to throw all of those together...

So PK will you be first in line this weekend for Duece Bigalow: European Gigalo!! hehehe

Posted by Ayan at August 9, 2005 8:50 AM
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