Yep, the PK.com Western Tour begins Tuesday, taking me to such places as Los Angeles, San Diego, Tijuana, Phoenix, Sedona, Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, Yosemite National Park, San Francisco and Santa Barbara in a two-week span that won't bring me back to New York till Aug. 2.

I don't expect to have anything new posted here till then, when I'll share the best of hundreds of pictures I plan to take, as well as a quickie review on each destination. Till then, enjoy the plight of the first-place Yankees, who picked up three games in the AL East standings since the All-Star break, despite allowing 40 runs in five games. (They have three players on track for 128+ RBIs, by the way.)

Internet cafés will allow me to check e-mail periodically, but cell phone is the best way for friends to check in. Call as late as you want. I won't be hitting the hay until I'm too passed out to hear anything anyway.

And pay attention to these PSAs:

N.Y. Giants at New Orleans Saints Road Trip
This is your classic trip I take and then get shit from people for not having let them know about it in advance. So consider this your invite. N'awlins is a cheap town, with cheap flights, lodging and booze. Ticketmaster still has seats available for the Sept. 18 game. We don't even have to organize this thing much — jump in with me or gather your own group and let's hook up in the French Quarter for a three-night drinkfest, with the added bonus of NFL football. E-mail me if you want in.

Dennis Frey Sr. Memorial Football Survival Pool
A PK.com reader runs a genuinely well-intentioned NFL survivor pool, in the memory of his father, that helps benefit prostate cancer research. You have no chance of beating me this year, but losing never feels bad when you're doing it for a good cause. Join us.

Today's Web Finds:

• 20 Things You Didn't Know Your PC Could Do — Tips and tricks from PC World.

• Forgotten Pictures of Popular People — Celebrity photos from their super-cheesy days. (Link found on CollegeHumor.com)

• Common Errors in English — If you think it's right to "wet your appetite," "fit the bill" or to "flush out" a developing idea, then you're an idiot.

• The Daily Poop — The most disgusting blog ever, one that chronicles — with pictures — a dump a day. (Thanks, Jonathan, I think)

• eBay: Million Dollars' Worth of Ad Space — Some fattie is selling ad space on her enormous rack.

• Sheriff Rosco Coltrane Toy Looks Like He's Whacking It — A first pump and a smile. The pic says it all. (Thanks, Shumpy)

• Deaths at Disneyland — Happy times at Goofy-ville ... if you make it out alive.

• Fark Honor Roll — A database of some of the website's best Photoshop contest participants.

• Pics: Circuit Girls Bikini Contest at the Old Cafe Iguana — The last gallery of chicks in thong bikinis I'll link to this month. How sad.

• Chainsaw Controller Available to Video Gamers — For those who like to play gory kill-'em-all games with a chainsaw resting just inches from their cash and prizes. (Thanks, Dan)

Today's News Links:

• Bush Won't Wear Speedo — 'In Public, That Is' — The Prez on a gift received from one of 15 new collegiate national champions.

• E! Gives Local Masturbator Inside Scoop On This Summer's Hottest New Swimwear — The Onion is on the scene.

• Colin Farrell Sues Woman Over Sex Tape — I love this shit, man. It's getting to the point where movie studios shouldn't hire anyone unless they have a sex tape that can be released at just the right time for maximum buzz.

Today's Sports Links:

• Gregg Doyel's Favorite College Hoops Venues/Cities/Hotels, etc. — He's says Chicago is New York, but cleaner. Um, yeaaaahhhh. Anyway, big ups to CBS SportsLine, which I visit once a month, for continuing to allow people to post such messages under the column as "PATHETIC favorites list" and "Worst Article Ever?"

• Athlon Sports NFL Team Previews — Don't ask me why these are syndicated on SI.com. Don't they have Dr. Z, who charts every game he sees with multi-colored pencils and keeps his own stats, because he doesn't trust the league tallies?

Today's New York Links:

• Hotel Pennsylvania Sells Out for Cheap Web Hits — Look at the copy on the index page of a place that dubs itself "The World's Most Popular Hotel." Strings of key phrases intended to attract web searches make the place look as desperate for visitors as Mike Damone was for tail in Fast Times At Ridgemont High. (Found on Manhattan User's Guide)

• The Making of Barcade: A Visual Chronicle — A cool photo timeline of just how much work went into the construction of a Brooklyn hangout that's part bar and part arcade.

• We're Nude York, Nude York! — Copy lifted from the New York Observer: "Ass cleavage is really in right now."

• New York City Social Sports Club — Looks like a new competitor to the ultra-successful Zog Sports, of which I'm a total whore for softball, football, basketball and dodgeball leagues.

• The Official Naked Cowboy Online Photo Album — This might be the most-photographed figure in NYC, and he's asking people to share their pictures in this album, which currently holds more than 800 images.