Almost three years ago, I profiled my 10 favorite Muppets, and it must not have been a ranking in order, because no way am I am fan of that walking wedgie target, the über-peon Scooter, over these hilarious bags of dust. In fact, aside from the Playboy mansion, the Muppets balcony is probably the place I most want to visit before I die.

Here's what I wrote about Statler and Waldorf back in 2002:

I don't have to see a psychic to find out what my life is going to be like in 40 years. I've already seen it in the form of two old curmudgeons who ditched the wives for a couple of hours to get drunk and rain down insults on puppets. God, I hope I'm around to enjoy such pleasures.

Anyway, this week, the geriatric gents review War of the Worlds and Bewitched, the first of which they liked ("Nurse, new trousers, please!") and the latter of which they thought bombed like Keith Foulke, who needs to pitch 210 straight scoreless innings to match Mariano "He's Finished" Rivera's 0.91 ERA. (That's not even a joke. It's true. It's true.)

In case you're scoring at home, that makes the count since their break-up: Tom Cruise 197, Nicole Kidman -12, for a differential of 209, easily outdistancing Brad Pitt (132) and Jennifer Aniston (3), who come in at 129.

Also, pay close attention to how Statler and Waldorf keep looking down at their right hands, which are both planted firmly on their crotches. And that's the kind of news that keep you coming back here. Admit it.

Today's Web Finds:

• Cass' Blog: Trust Me, I'm a Blonde — If you're a reader of my comments, then you know Cass as a long-time supporter of this site, and a woman who's as subtle as a Mets fan's B.O. If this new site doesn't break the T.M.I. world record, then I'll run around Central Park in a Red Sux thong. Don't let me down, girl! (And good luck.)

• Larry David's Guest Blog Post — When I do make it up to the Statler and Waldorf balcony, this is the guy I want to see a show with. Anyway, here are the thoughts that go through his head when he can't sleep. Love the part about curing Parkinson's.

• Reviews: March of the Penguins — This documentary, opening this weekend and narrated by Morgan Freeman, is getting some high praise. Reviews | Trailer.

• Pics: Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn Together — Look at that first pic. Are they filming something? 'Cause if not, and he's doing that huggy-huggy stuff with men's crotches so close to him, I'm gonna have to reconsider seeing Wedding Crashers.

• SongFacts: Billy Joel's Captain Jack — Was this actually played when Hillary Clinton announced her Senate campaign? And did Rudy Giuliani actually contend that she was supporting drug use? I hope neither was that stupid.

• Beer Can Jewelry — I actually love the PBR bracelet. Would make a perfect drinking accessory at Yogi's. For $80, I'll make my own, though.

• TIME.com's 50 Coolest Websites — I know how tough these lists can be, because you want to try to mix quality with a bit of newness. Else it would be the same ESPN, Google, Amazon, eBay stuff. But I bet you find some good stuff here from my old friends.

• 10 Ways to Get a Flight Upgrade — MSNBC's travel columnist on some things you can do other than the No. 1 tried-and-tested method: stomp your feet and act like a total asshole.