"There's a Right and Wrong Way to Karaoke"
"Balboni, Mass and Other Yankee Heroes Who Weren't"
"Softball and Me: A Love Story"
"Prank Items on the Web - A Roundup"

• Michael's Sketchy Sci-Fi Book Covers — If any of these are on your kid's summer-reading list, call the cops. Fast.

• Eddie Izzard Comedy Quotes — Never heard of this British dude before this week, but I dig some of this stuff:

"We stole countries with the cunning use of flags! Sail halfway around the world, stick a flag in. 'I claim India for Britain.' And they're going, 'You can't claim us. We live here! There's five hundred million of us.' 'Do you have a flag?' 'We don't need a flag, this is our country you bastard!'"

"The NRA says that, 'Guns don't kill people, people do.' But I think the gun helps. I just think just standing there going, 'Bang!' is not going to kill too many people, is it?"

• Bidding for Travel — A busy message board where users share their experiences and prices realized bidding for prices on air and hotel around the country. Deals a plenty if you have the patience.

• Video: Triumph the Dog Outside the Michael Jackson Trial — If this is new to you, I just want to thank you for making this site your only web visit this week.

• Brian's BitTorrent FAQ and Guide — A how-to on a file-sharing system that's increasing in popularity. No way do I have the patience for all this.

• Audio: Howard Stern Takes Offense at FHM Editor — Stern responds to a guy who says Beth O. was only in FHM because she dates Howard, and makes it seem like she didn't know that herself. (Thanks, Mike)

• Video: Fat Ass Breaks Glass on Copier — No way this thing's real, but it cracked me up. Trust me, 99.9999% of these hidden cam/surveillance videos are bullshit. (Thanks, Zuba)

• Tom Sizemore/Elizabeth Hurley Sex Tape Rumors — Hey man, after seeing that Chyna-X-Pac train-wreck, I'll settle for Tom Arnold/Elizabeth Taylor.

• Liz Phair Hi-Res See-Thru Mesh Top Pics — Are these real? How come I've never come across them in the supposed two years since they were taken? I hate being the last to know.

• Mashup Downloads — A collection of downloadable remixes that combine songs from different genres, like Snoop and Zeppelin, which I didn't like. Doesn't include the Encore-Numb remix, which I did. And 99 Problems is pretty kick-ass.

• Playboy's Sexiest Bartenders 2005 — Here's your chance to tell barmaids what they want to hear instead of the other way around. You might get rewarded with seeing 'em nekkid.

• Rotating Green Dot — A pretty cool optical illusion that'll take all of 15 seconds of your time. Or all day if you want to do it over and over. Let's be honest, I don't give a shit what you do with your time.

• Billboards We'd Like to See — Oh no, my friend Tracy, who makes her fighting debut Saturday night, is not gonna like this one on women's boxing. (Trace, don't forget what your opponent said about your mother! And Bruce!) My favorite: Circus comics. (Thanks, Shumpy)

• Video: Recruiting Company Parodies Paris Hilton Burger Commercial — If McDonald's is up to two billion sold, I bet this guy's responsible for about half of that.

• 10 Questions With Dane Cook — The guy's playing what what's gonna be a sold-out Madison Square Garden on Sept. 16. That's how big he is already. I guess it wasn't always like this, but ya gotta think every stand-up comedian has an eye on Hollywood. How else to get the Fuck You Money that Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock, Jerry Seinfeld and Jim Carrey got?

• 'Winnie Cooper' Layout in Stuff Magazine — More accurately, it's the girl who played Winnie Cooper on The Wonder Years, but if I told you it was Danica McKellar, would you know who the hell I was talking about?