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Wednesday, June 8, 2005

Mexico's Dwarf Bullfighters Hit the Road
Now I know what Mexico president Vicente Fox meant when he said that his countrymen were willing to accept U.S. jobs that "not even blacks want."

At first I was thinking hockey coach, disgraced inside-trading CEO or president of the U2 fan club. But that was before I read about dwarf bullfighters in Mexico, who plan to take their show "all over" the United States.

The shrimps with giant balls use a "squeezy, plastic hammer" (is that what they're calling it these days?) to hit similarly vertically challenged bullocks, who are not harmed during the show. Except for their pride.

Other News Links:

Porn Star Chloe Jones Passes Away — When someone dies at 29 and leaves behind an 8-year-old daughter and 7-year-old twin sons, I can't lower myself to making obvious, crude jokes. So nobody rub one out in her memory tonight, as I was going to suggest. Nor will I speculate that cause of death was drowning. Yeah, that kind.

Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades — A friend recently pointed out this classic editorial in The Onion by a Gillete CEO who's all riled up after his bastard competitors went to four blades.

Howard Dean: GOP "Pretty Much a White, Christian Party" — I prefer Mondo Porno parties myself. I'm sure the GOP is gonna be all like, "No, we're diverse." Which, of course it is, compared to the Augusta golf club. (Audio clip here: "I think this place is restricted, Wang, so don't tell 'em your Jewish. OK, fine.")

How Do the Paparazzi Sell Their Pics?Slate's introduction to the celebrity photo game. The knee-jerk reaction is to view these guys as vermin, but they act as agents of truth. If it weren't for them, we would still think that Britney Spears is hot.

Secret TiVo Tips and Tweaks — I have a question. Why don't people record movies, Instant Classic sporting events and entire seasons of TV series, burn them onto DVDs and sell them below retail on eBay? Maybe they do. I have to admit ignorance here.

If Watergate Happened Now — Jonathan Alter writes in Newsweek that the GOP controlling Congress would assure there were no hearings. He also says that FOX News' coverage would include a banner that reads, "Assault on the Presidency."

Man With Chain Saw, Sword Is Let Into U.S. — Eh, it's not like he decapitated a 74-year-old man and stabbed to death his common-law wife. Wait, he did? (Thanks, Cass)

Call It the PlayStation Porn-Able — "Will handheld porn on the go be acceptable? In some ways, it already is — the exec squeezed up next to you on the Tokyo subway is just as likely to be reading a sexually explicit comic book as he is a financial newspaper." And that's the best endorsement I've ever read for taking cabs in Tokyo.

In the Future, Everyone Will be Hitler for 15 Minutes — Finally, someone collects all the news stories where someone called an adversary — whether it be Howard Dean, FOX News, Martha Stewart, Democrats or Republicans — the worst name in the book. Soon we'll have to call it "the H word."

Category: News | Permalink | Post a Comment (16)


Comments: Mexico's Dwarf Bullfighters Hit the Road

I have Games 4 - 7 of the 2004 ALCS burned onto DVD from Tivo. Would you like copies??

Posted by amy at June 9, 2005 12:17 AM

Sure, I'll send you $26, one for every Yankees World Series victory since 1918, plus rookie cards of Bucky Dent and Aaron Boone, plus a 1999 ALCS victory T-shit, plus a replica 1996 World Series ring won by Wade Boggs with us, plus replica 1999 and 2000 World Series rings won by Roger Clemens with us, plus a picture of my ass to kiss.

Posted by Paul Katcher at June 9, 2005 1:54 AM

So since 1918 you have four games to needle us Yankee fans with. Wow. So impressed.

Posted by YankeeJim at June 9, 2005 3:10 AM

I can't fault 'em. It's like when the white guy in Coming to America, Saul, brought up Rocky Mariano as the best boxer ever.

"That's their one! That's their one!"

I try to come up with a comparison, like maybe Maryland ragging on Duke after winning the 2002 national championship. But Duke has won only three national championships in my lifetime (since 1973) while the Yankees have won six World Series. So, as ridiculous as it would be for a Terps fan to talk shit to a Blue Devils fan, you can double it for Yanks-Sox since I've been alive. Or octuple it since 1918.

Like I keep pointing out, when a billionaire drops a $10 bill on the street, he doesn't care. But the homeless guy who picks it up is psyched.

Oh, and have you noticed that the most vocal of Sux fans who "suffered for generations" are under 30-35? A lot are even too young to remember Bill Buckner. They didn't endure a drought too much longer than young-ish fans of the Angels in 2002, Braves in 1995, Dodgers in 1988, Twins in 1987, Mets in 1986, Royals in 1985, Tigers in 1984, Orioles in 1983, Cardinals in 1982, etc., etc.

They're just more annoying. (But Amy gets a pass, like all 'Cuse grads.)

Posted by Paul Katcher at June 9, 2005 3:16 AM

Hahaha, "Let me tell you something once and for all. Rocky Marciano was good, but compared to Joe Louis, Rocky Marciano ain't shit!"

Posted by Flash12 at June 9, 2005 4:23 AM

If you thought Jeff's Hitler list was funny, you should check out the timeline he posted yesterday.

Posted by Steve at June 9, 2005 9:59 AM

Paul and YankeeJim....you guys look at it as Red Sox fans have 'four games to needle us Yankee fans with' but we look at it as four games that constituted the greatest single collapse in team sports history.

That billionaire dropping $10 bills on the street is the envy of everyone who knows him. Everyone wants to hang out and party with him and reap the benefits of his wealth. What happens when one day the money is gone? Our billionaire friend blew it all overspending on old possesions that kept breaking down.

Now, noone comes around anymore. His 'friends' are gone. They look at him and laugh and wonder how someone who had it all blew it. Noone looks at him and remembers the good times, they just see what he is today....broke.

Worst of all, remember that homeless guy? Well, he collected those $10 bills, made a few good investments and well....you can guess the rest.

That's the comparison I like to make anyway. As always, there's more than one way to look at it.

Posted by monte at June 9, 2005 11:28 AM

That is another way look at it. If you're assuming the 26 titles are on your side and not ours.

Posted by Paul Katcher at June 9, 2005 11:50 AM

I'm sorry, did you say rookie card for BUCKY DENT?
What? What does a girl have to do to get THAT?

Posted by PeeWee at June 9, 2005 1:29 PM

Here it is, genuine 1974 Topps:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=60503&item=5205721545

Posted by Paul Katcher at June 9, 2005 1:32 PM

Oh I remember Buckner, but it's really Bob Stanley that is painful. I'm sure you Yankees fans remember when the Yankees didn't win between '78 and '96.. during what I'm guessing is the youth of most readers of this site. Don't mock the pain of drought, you may be in the midst of one yourself.
;)

Posted by amy at June 9, 2005 2:01 PM

The Red Sawks Yanxs banter is always amusing, but am I the only one upset about the passing of Chloe Jones?????

OK, so I wouldn't know her from Jill Kelly, I'm just upset I can't open the non-work friendly link about her death.

Posted by Fletch at June 9, 2005 5:48 PM

So Monte, by "friends" you must mean bandwagon jumpers right? Because I've been a Yanks fan through the good and the bad, and I'm not going to stop wearing my NY hat just because they're in a rough stretch right now.

By the way, I've been to Boston and to Fenway Park. I've seen their fans. I challenge you to pick out 5 Red Sox fans at a game there that would invest that $10 instead of blowing it on Sam Adams.

Posted by YankeeJim at June 9, 2005 8:19 PM

Whoa...let's leave my Dad and the outrageous Fenway beer prices out of this. He's doing his best to learn all the player's names and just loves beer too much to give a damn about his future.

Hey, for every fan that hopped on the bandwagon last year, I could find 10 that are true fans. I've been a Sox season ticket holder for six years and I see the 'fans' you are talking about every trip to Fenway. Usually they are the high school aged kids sitting down in the ridiculously priced box seats (pisses me off). The girls wear 'Do me Johnny' shirts and the guys have some variation of 'Jeter blows Arod' shirts on. None could even tell you who is pitching that night. Fortunately, they are still in the small majority.

You can't tell me though that the same exact thing didn't happen when the Yankees had their moment in the sun. If you did, I wouldn't believe you. Converted Met fans, any girl who thought Derek Jeter was cute, and New Jersey residents with an IQ under 60 all went out and got themselves cute little blacks hats. Let's face it, everybody loves a winner.

You know what though? I'm fine with it. Those fans used to bother me but now I just shrug it off. In order to become a lifelong Sox (or Yankee) fan, you have to start at day one. Maybe this year, some of them will be able to rattle off the starting rotation.

What do I know though? Last year in Game 4 of the ALCS at the end of the top of the ninth, I turned to my buddies and said, 'there is no way in hell I'm gonna risk sitting here and watch the Yankees celebrate on our fucking field' and got up and walked out. The years of pessimism had taken their toll and we both know what I missed. Those bandwagoners? Doubt never crept into their minds, I'm actually kind of jealous.

Posted by monte at June 9, 2005 9:14 PM

I wonder if 49ers' fans are telling Patriots fans how much better the 49ers are than the Patriots. The Yankees lost games 4,5,6,7, and bragging rights. The way the Red Sox are playing now those newly inherited rights are running out in a hurry. If it weren't for the Yankees stealing their negative thunder thus far, the Sox would be the most disappointing team in the league. The Yankees just can't give the Red Sox anything without a fight. At least the Red Sox, led by Alan Embree, are fighting back nowadays. Seriously though, I think Womack and Bellhorn are both bigger than Sammy Sosa now.

Posted by TurdFerguson at June 11, 2005 8:12 PM

Not nearly a solid analogy, considering Pats and Niners are currently on complete opposite ends of the spectrum, and aren't too far off all-time in Super Bowls (five appearances each, Pats have two losses to San Fran's none).

That is NOT Yanks-Sox, and as much as people wanna talk greatest choke ever, they were still the only team good enough to beat Boston once, let alone three times, last postseason, a year removed from being AL champs themselves.

Comparing the Yankees to the 49ers right now is way premature. And the Sox sure as hell ain't the Pats right now.

Posted by Paul Katcher at June 11, 2005 8:25 PM
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