I don't know how the hell I missed this one, but last week New York hosted its first Erotic Expo at the Hotel Pennsylvania across the street from Madison Square Garden.
According to this Reuters report, "a crowd of mainly young- to middle-aged men shuffled by the stations to ogle hard-core movie stars and sex accessories," while porn queens like Tiffany Mynx hawked such videos as Tales from the Crack and Weapons of Ass Destruction — both of which were nominated for Oscars, I believe.
One of the more popular products on display was the Bungee Sexperience (pictured), a "fully washable" bungee contraption that allows for weightless sex and promises to "put the bounce back in your sex life." The company's website — which boats "No more crushed limbs from your partner!" (who ya bangin', Jabba the Hutt?) — also offers "factory seconds," which are new bungees, but have slight imperfections.
Picture that for a moment: asking your super to drill a hole in your ceiling so you can install your "factory seconds."
Reuters also reports on Matters of Size, an explicit DVD exercise program designed to add inches to a penis.
The five-phase program demonstrates an elaborate series of stretches, twists and rotations in painstaking order, and how many "sets" of each drill is required over the months to achieve the proper end.
Trust me on this. If stretching, twisting and rotating was all it took, all males would have 10-foot dicks by the time they left high school.
Other News Links:
• Busty Babes to Deliver Food to Construction Workers — If you live in the Aspen area and have a set of cans, Toasty Chicks has a position for you.
• University to Offer Porn Class — The University of Iowa will be offering a fall class examining pornography in popular culture. The class holds 20 students and — wow, this is a shock — it's already full, with a growing waitlist.
• Daily News Scribe Braves World's Scariest Roller Coaster — Kingda Ka, the world's tallest and fastest roller coaster, debuts at Six Flags in new Jersey.
• Mexico Prez 'Regrets Interpretation' of Remark on Blacks — Vicente Fox's comment about Mexicans taking U.S. jobs that "not even" blacks want cracked me up. Not even George Bush could word something that so clumsily and end up insulting two races of people.
• Morgan Stanley to Pull Ads if Negative Stories Run — How 'bout buying more ads if negative stories run about competitors? That would be an awesome scandal.
• JibJab: This Bud Ad's for You — The JibJab guys will produce online entertainment for Budweiser.
