Profile pages, on which voting occurs, aren't available for 15 of the most bonerific broads, meaning that the remainder of the erection sets rank on an annoying scale somewhere between 1 (not annoying, like a 3-for-1 beer special in Cancun) to 85 (most annoying, like the first three days on the can after a trip to Cancun).

Coming in at 85, 2005's Ms. Most Annoying, Nicole Richie, whom Maxim ranked as the 37th sexiest woman alive. Which means Maxim has deemed only 36 women on the planet are sexier than Richie. Riiiight.

This should be turned into a game show titled "Name 37 People Sexier Than Nicole Richie." "I can do it in 52 seconds, Alex."

The five most annoying, with their Maxim rank in parentheses:

85. Nicole Richie (37)
84. Maggie Grace (27)
83. Sienna Miller (48)
82. Pamela Anderson (40)
81. Christina Aguilera (16)

The five least annoying:

1. Joanna Krupa (78)
2. Natassia Malthe (Lina Teal) (74)
3. Samaire Armstrong (55)
4. Lauren Bush (63)
5. Leila Arcieri (65)

For the record, I've heard of only three of those women: Richie, Anderson and Aguilera. Clearly, I'm slipping.

Missing entirely from Maxim's list: Britney Spears. From now on, her name on this site is Enron Spears.

Here are links to pics of all of Maxim's 100. Some go to Maxim photoshoots, some go to a Google images search. Either way, be sure to print out a bunch and leave 'em sitting in a printer at work with the name of a colleague you don't like on 'em.

• Not to be outdone, FHM also has a list of 100 Sexiest Women. Nice pic of Lindsay Lohan at No. 10, who's been seen around town doing a great impersonation of a walking, freckled skeleton.

Today's Web Finds:

(Hope they're not too old. Been holding a bunch for awhile now.)

• The Vitual Stripper — A la that Beer.com chick, you type in commands and she acts them out. "Plug a midget clown with a strap-on while eating a Pop Tart" doesn't work. I already tried it.

• 50 Fun Things to Do With Your iPod — Jason Kottke runs down a lot of extra uses besides complaining about battery life.

• A Gentleman Never Discloses Who Sucked Him Off — An op-ed in The Onion gives some advice on how a gentleman carries himself. For example:

"It should go without saying that, once he has arranged for a paid lady of the night to meet him at his home, a gentleman does not jerk off several times while awaiting her arrival, in order to 'get his money's worth.'"

• Stupid Saved By The Bell Character Profiles — A.C. Slater — Do yourself a favor and listen to the audio clips linked throughout the page. Holy lord, what a train wreck that show was.

• GoldenPalace.com Online Auctions — A long listing — with news, photos and videos — of ridiculous items this place has bought on eBay in recent times, including Evil Kermit, a Mystery Envelope and Pope Benny's car.

• IGN E3 Video Central — Tons of video game preview vids from a recent electronics show. (Thanks, Damien)

• Enron Spears and Kevin Federline's Letterman Top 10 — The nose-diving couple read out 10 reasons to check out their new show. Sure, no prob. Next time every other TV station blows up.

• News Photo Search: Star Wars — Wire images of some of the nuts in line to see the movie's premiere.

• The Best and Worst ISPs — PC World runs 'em down. God help you if you still use AOL. That's like paying someone to come to your house once a month to kick you in the nuts.

• Photos From Wisconsin Block Party Fight — Look at these bloodied up guys. You have to be retarded to not be able to survive a day-time drink-up without getting your head bashed in.

• Exhibitionists Pull for Thrills in Library — The lead in the Daily Northwestern says it all: "Two or three times a quarter, female Northwestern students studying at University Library, Evanston Public Library, Borders Books & Music or Barnes & Noble look up to see unknown men masturbating near them."

• Betty Crocker Unveiled — Turns out there was no Betty Crocker. It was all a scam. Next thing you're gonna tell me is that there's no Chuckie Cheese.

• Upper East Side Upskirting Camera Revealed — Someone hid a camera under a grate, but no one knows the website that may have broadcast images. Nobody say a word, OK?