How 'bout the dugout lineup card that Joe Torre (or lackey) will fill out on July 26 against the Twins? That's only $750.

Don't think you'll be lucky enough to catch a foul ball on August 28 against the Royals? You can order a game-used ball now for $200.

And that's where sports memorabilia is at these days. And I guess that's where the Yankees' money machine is at, too.

Earlier this year the Yankees and Steiner Sports announced a multi-year deal that would make such collectibles available through Steiner's Game-Used Pre-Order Program.

Amazingly, bases and lineup-cards are already sold out for the May 26 game against Detroit, July 23 against Tampa Freakin' Bay and couple of other dates.

Elsewhere on the site, you can buy infielder Fernando Seguignol's 2003 hat (price not listed), Kevin Brown's 2004 game-used Japan series jersey for $5,000 and Derek Jeter's 2002 road pants for $7,400.

All of this sounds a little ridiculous, but if they sell, then they sell. Do whatever you want. If you wanna drop five large to be the only person in New York with a Kevin Brown jersey of any kind, then be my guest.

I just have one question: Do the Yankees even bother to do laundry anymore?

If these items sell on the secondary market for more than they cost the team to purchase, then why bother paying for soap and labor? Just pick up these guys' unis after each game and supply a new one before the next. And just think about the income opportunity if they're all racing to change clothes between innings, like some kind of spring break contest.

I know one thing: I won't be buying. My game-used collection began and ended with a hideous, blue 1984 Jim Anderson (stats) Texas Rangers jersey (No. 14, I believe), which I picked up many, many years ago for $75, just so I could own something from the majors. Back then, they didn't do the one at-bat and done with a lot of this game-used stuff and maybe, just maybe, he wore it at Yankee Stadium and got swiped with a tag from Don Mattingly, the Greatest Living Ballplayer.

Other Sports Ruminations:

• Much more from me at SBB: Check out SportsByBrooks.com on Tuesday for an update I wrote for him. Lots of good links, including Tommy Lasorda's blog, results from NBC's "SteinieCams" at the Kentucky Derby, a fantasy league for pro wrestling, and P.J. Brown actually shows up in the NBA MVP vote tally.

Brooks will be hosting an event in NYC in late June, so stay tuned for those details.

• The Whiffmaster 25: I didn't even know it was possible to have a higher on-base percentage (.386) than slugging percentage (.325), especially from a guy who hit 82 home runs in his first two years as a Yankee, but that's where Jason Giambi is at these days. Through 27 games and 77 at-bats: 11 singles, 1 double, 3 home runs, 6 (six!!!) RBIs, 18 walks, 29 strikeouts and a .195 batting average.

In 1988, Mattingly had the same number of strikouts in 599 at-bats. Yogi Berra had more than 30 strikeouts in a season only three times in his career, never whiffing more than 38 times in a year. In 1941, Joe DiMaggio hit .357, had that 56-game hitting streak, belted 30 home runs and struck out an incredibly low 13 times. Thirteen!

Giambi is neck-and neck with Mark Bellhorn for Best Impersonation of a Little League Right Fielder in a Major League Lineup. Bellhorn is now hitting .233 in 93 at-bats, with 0 home runs, 7 RBIs and a mind-boggling 37 whiffs. Was Todd Walker really that bad?

• Who's the idiot who allowed some company to trademark the name "Juggs Gun" for something as boring as a device that measures the speed of pitches? That's like securing the domain name HugeMelons.com and then using the site to sell fruit. Totally irresponsible.

• Another seven scoreless innings for Roger Clemens on Monday night. Seven starts in 2005, exactly seven runs pitched in each, and he's given up six earned runs total (1.10 ERA) in those 49 innings. So this is what is was like for Sux fans when he left and just blew up the league in Toronto.

Today's Sports Links:

• Da Bronx Bombers — A new Yankees site that's popped up among the crop of MLBlogs.

• Dropping the Hammer — Same as above. Good luck to both of them.

• The Writers — A collaboration of original sports columns by some guys who would benefit from a web-design course, but the content looks decent.

• Downloadable Kingpin Quotes — Listen up, Anchorman fans. Now this was a movie with some can't-miss humor. That's what you need to have before finalizing a script. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go. There's a shit cloud coming! Run for your lives!