CMT is looking to fill the position of Vice President, Dukes of Hazzard Institute, and they're willing to pay $100,000 for his/her services.

Duties include: Watching the Dukes of Hazzard every weeknight, writing for the show's online blog, giving media interviews and making personal appearances at such hip events as Dukesfest 2005 this summer in Bristol, Tenn. (Might not be on P. Diddy's social calendar, if you catch my drift.)

When I was like 8 years old, I thought Dukes of Hazzard was the best show ever. Then again, I thought the CHiPS dudes were the coolest cats on TV. But as you grow older, you get less excited when the Dukes take a dirt path to elude the fuzz for the 120th straight show. And you kinda wish the writing was more advanced than that of Sesame Street. Seriously, I think Oscar the Grouch had more use for cue cards than Uncle Jessie.

(Speaking of which, haven't we been subjected to one too many Uncle Jessies over the years. Referring to the Super Mullet on Full House, of course. I think I smell a Head to Head coming up.)

And finally, a did you know? They're making a new Dukes of Hazzard movie starring American Pie's Stifler as Bo, Johnny Knoxville as Luke and Jessica Simpson as Daisy. Guess who won't be spending $10.50 on that one? (While we're at it, here's a Stifler soundboard.)

Today's Web Finds:

• iFilm's Most Popular Celebrity Skin Vids Ever — Wow, it's "Tara Reid Sex Scene" at No. 1, with "Catherine Bell Sex Scene" as the only close challenger. Someday I'll have to do a list of Homemade Celebrity Sex Videos That Would Not Only Be Popular But Pretty Much Bring Down the Entire Internet and Threaten World Civilization. Britney Spears was the obvious former No. 1 on that list, but not anymore. Because...

• Britney Spears Is Officially Pregnant — "Here's a picture of mommy growing up in Louisiana. And here's another one of mommy slutting it up at an MTV awards show when she was 19. And here's mommy's first husband, who mommy was married to for 55 hours. And here's..."

• Caddyshack Sound Page — Not sure if I've linked to this already, but who couldn't go for another round of "Oh, this is the worst lookin' hat I ever saw. Looks good on you though!" (Thanks, Art)

• Do The Schiavo — Oh, of all the going-straight-to-hell Terry Schiavo parodies, this collection of people imitating her famous pubic photo warrant the most direct ticket. Check out site owner Amanda Egge's "I Love Jew Cock" t-shirts, now on sale.

• Video: Kid Passes Out During Spelling Bee — Kinda of an oldie, but does seeing a nerd faint and recover to spell a word ever really get old? Hey, remember that looney girl from Brooklyn who went ape-shit after winning the 1997 National Spelling Bee?

• VH1 to Air Reality Show Hogan Knows Best — Hell, the Hulkster could pass out 'roids to his daughter's friends and still act more responsible than Victoria Gotti. Speaking of, did you know Lisa Gastineau is a former mistress of John Gotti and is a current nemesis of Victoria? The Teflon Don must've been quite the charming plumbing-supply salesman when he wasn't ordering murders. (Found on SteveSilver.net)

• The Best Free PC Utilities — PC World's newest tips for making your computing more efficient.

• World's Longest Gum-Wrapper Chain — Everyone needs hobbies, ya know. Mine are sports, writing, guitar and photography. And this guy's been tying together gum wrappers for four decades.

• 419 Eater — Turning the tables on the Nigerian scam assholes. (Thanks, Joe)

• Top 20 Hit Country Lyrics For Y'all! — This site actully embeds song audio with its lyrics of the top-20 hits. Almost certainly a copyright violation, but what do I care?

• Samsung's $369 (at B&H in NYC) 7-Megapixel Camera — I know megapixels aren't everything, but this baby looks cool, and I'm looking forward to reading some serious reviews when it's been properly tested.