That's because Jose Canseco and Bronson Pinchot are two of the new roommates on the fifth season of The Surreal Life, which started shooting on Monday. (In other words, after the Congressional hearings, so someone had better ask Can-Sucko is he was able to smell the dump Mark McGwire took in his pants that day.)

Rounding out the cast: model Janice Dickinson, Sandy Denton (Pepa from Salt-n-Pepa), model Caprice, motocross star Carey Hart and former Apprentice wanna-be Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth.

Not exactly Murderer's Row right there. Compared the them, Peter Brady and Mini-Me are A-listers.

I've never heard of Dickinson or Hart. Never seen Omarosa. And I still get nightmares from the "Whatta Man" video, in which Pepa soaks nude in a tub, rappin' 'bout how her man comes home and gets "relaxed with Pep." Though I do know one part of my body that would remain relaxed around Pep.

At least Caprice Bourret is really fucking hot.

Today's Sports Links:

• Sports Illustrated's MLB Souting Reports — The mag picks Yanks over Braves in the World Series. Hey, wouldn't be the first time. The Orioles have got to same some whack-ass pitching to rank only 19th out of 30. (Just checked. Yeah, they do.)

• Dodgers Up 43-Year Season-Ticket Holder's Bill 500% — Since Day 1 at Dodger Stadium in 1962, Irving Zeiger had front-row seats behind the home dugout. Then came a $120,000 bill — $100,000 more than expected — after minor Stadium reconfiguration pushed the dugout four rows closer to the field. (Found on Tony Pierce's blog)

• Video: Basketball Player Knocks Out Referee — An old clip from a game in Uruguay. Two hits: player's fist hits ref's jaw; ref's head hits court. (Thanks, Shumpy)

• Marvin Harrison Accused of 'Potentially Deadly Choke Hold' on Kid Autograph-Seeker — I know the Colts are perfectly capable of choking, but Harrison might be the last guy in any sport I'd expect to join two men in "attacking" three boys seeking autographs. If true, expect a trade to the Ravens before the draft.

• Using Win Shares to Study MLB's Biggest Deals of All Time — A Hardball Times feature calculates a 1984 trade involving the Yankees as the biggest-ever swap of talent, in terms of combined career win shares of all players involved.

• The NBA's All-Time All-Ugly Team — Sam Cassell phone home! Talking face, not game here. But if we were, it would be a double-double for Gheorghe Muresan. I mean, Shawn Bradley used to hang with him just so he could pick up chicks.

• The Mattingly Letters — The Greatest Living Ball Player is also The Greatest Living Writer? Not really, but some funny spoofs of letters Don Mattingly may have written to his high school sweetheart. "Hey, it's Don. I'm hitting .378 and I found a girl that can do that tongue thing just like you, only better. I also have a mustache now. The chicks dig it."

• ESPN.com Page 2's 'What If' Tourney? — Seems everyone is doing this "let's pretend no one left for the NBA early" game, and I guess this one is the best version. Enjoy those G'Town-Villanova anniversary highlights on Friday, 'cause no team will ever again match the mystique of th '85 Hoyas. You'll just never see a guy like Ewing terrorize opponents year after year, making three championship-game appearances.

• Keith Hernandez's NYC Apartment Listing, With Photos — Almost $2.5 million and only two bedrooms? New York real estate is out of fucking control.