Nothing says easy money like dwarfs in infomercials. So I'm pleased to announce that John and Greg Rice, the dressed-alike midgets who you may have seen hawk Cash Flow Generator on late-night TV, are in the New York area to help you, um, grow, your net worth with real-estate advice so fool-proof that even they're gonna adopt it once they get done starring in infomercials.
Just take a look at these testimonials:
"My life changed the day I stopped listening to the MORONS and started listening to MORE CFG!"
Bill Barnett
"I made $18,500 on my first deal. I couldn't believe it! This is how much I make in a whole year working. And it was that easy."
Unidentified guy with porn 'stache on home page
Face it, if you can't trust Bill Barnett, who can you listen to these days?
The only bad thing is now I'm torn between sending my life's savings to them or Erik Estrada, who can been seen hawking Florida swamp land on a competing channel.
Today's Web Finds:
• Rocky Soundboard — Ay, yo, you gotta, like, uh, check this out or somethin'. Now with 50% less consonants! (Recommendation: "I'm afraid" on the bottom right. Try not to laugh. Seriously, try.)
• Ric Flair Soundboard — It ain't all "Whoooooo!' ya know. Some funny stuff from the guy who seems ready to blow a gasket on every quote.
• When Not to Hyphenate — Jay Leno's wet dream: wedding announcements of awkward-sounding couples. Like "Dunnam-Favors," "Kuntz-Dick," "Wacker-Dailey" and "Pullen-Wood." (Thanks, Amanda)
• 100 Greatest TV Theme Songs — Another dynamite RetroCrush feature. As much as I want to see the entire city of Boston engulfed in flames, there's no way the theme from Cheers is only 42. (Easy guitar chords to that one.) Also see the RetroCrush Guy's audio on his versions of classic theme songs. "Now the world don't move to the beat of just one drum!"
• T-Shirt Hell's Latest T-Shirts — You talk about an easy business plan. Just come up with a crazy tag-line like "I Support Single Moms" or " "Could You Come Back in a Few Beers?" Are you reading this, Erik Estrada?
• BruceVideos.com — Download some bootleg video clips of Bruce Springsteen's live performances. If only he had two midgets to teach him about real estate, he never would've had to have played that god-damned guitar. (Thanks, Don)
• Melissa Ann's New Photos — This fitness model never answered my questions after agreeing to do an interview (not the first, by the way) but I won't hold that against you. Enjoy.
• The Biggest Forehead on Earth — Just a pic I came across randomly. Am I wrong?
That largest forehead on earth foto is hilarious. Just one more reason not to put your photo on the Web.
Posted by Larry at March 29, 2005 9:52 AM