Before the NCAA Tournament is even over, Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer will dig into the box at glorious Yankee Stadium in a uniform that may or may not have been washed since last season and Randy Johnson will deliver the first pitch of the 2005 baseball season.
And on that Sunday night, April 3, baseball fans everywhere will feel like kids on Christmas morning. Some of you will be getting coal (or worse, David Wells) and some of us, meaning Yankees fans, will be getting a $200 million present with a five-time Cy Young Award winner included.
I kid. I kid. After last year's postseason disaster, when the Yankees failed to reach their seventh World Series in Joe Torre's nine years as manager, I learned a lesson in humility.
Cubs fans, White Sox fans, Indians fans whoever you are and whatever losers you root for I know exactly how you feel.
You're probably asking yourself, Will my team win an eighth straight division title? Will we make the playoffs for the 11th straight year? Is 40 American League championships doable? Is 27 World Series titles even legal?
With a positive attitude and great web links, anything is possible. Here are 26 must-bookmark destinations for Yankees fans. The rest of you peasants are on your own. See y'all in October.
1. Yankees.com Schedule Gotta start with the basics: who are we playing and when are we beating them? White boxes mean away games, blue boxes mean home games, and NYM means half the crowd will be cheeseballs from Queens.
2. ESPN.com's Baseball Scoreboard You need only one bookmark for scores, and my theory is to check 'em all after Opening Day and see which one you like best. My money's on ESPN.com to come out on top (again) this year.
3. Karen Bischer's Blog Spreading Yankees cheer in Hoboken, N.J., one of my top 10,000 favorite cities in America, Karen not only drank the Bronx Bomber Kool-Aid, she pretty much swims in it. My guess is if there was a guy named Pagliarulo in her high school, she would have asked him to the prom.
4. Bronx Banter Part of the Baseball Toaster portal, Alex Belth's blog is part news and part opinion, family friendly and kinda dry. I'd say it's perfect for Republicans and box seat ticket holders. In other words, about 12 people who come to my site.
5. Aaron Gleeman's Blog Aaron's a Twins fan, but most of his baseball observations and stat analyses are a festivus for the rest of us. Bonus points for an easy-going writing style and helping me pimp out my ESPN.com stuff.
6. Baseball Reference The most user-friendly, addictive baseball database ever created. Newest additions to the site include leaderboards for at-bats per strikeout, Hall of Famers by position, multiple winners for each award and leaderboards for award shares.
7. YES Network's Yankees Page Coming soon: the Suzyn Waldman swimsuit page!
8. New York Post Sports Section Even though the rest of the paper is a pile of crap, I still think it's the best sports section in New York.
9. Retrosheet Famous for decades' worth of box scores, the site also has a Top Performances section where you can learn things like Shawn Green holds the record for most home runs in a five-game span (9) and Luis Tiant twice pitched 40+ consecutive innings of scoreless ball.
10. Replacement Level Yankees Weblog Larry Mahnken's site has received such high praise as, "After reading all your postings and daily weblog, I believe you have truly become the Phil Pepe of this generation. Now this is not necessarily a good thing."
11. SportsSpyder Yankees Filter Pretty straight-forward sports news filter.
12. SportsBlogs.org Yankees Filter The latest Yankees-related entries in the sports blogosphere. A blogosphere that pretty much sucks, by the way.
13. Coalition of the Darkside A group blog that even has a couple of chick writers. After reading Jason's post on Great Disasters in Mets History, I'd say the site has promise.
14. Pride of the Yankees Weblog Your run-of-the-mill daily news roundup.
15. ESPN.com's Yankee Clubhouse A collection of current Yankee data and headlines, plus salaries, a stadium profile and latest wire photos.
16. Yankees Ticket Posts on Craig's List Remember, someone always gets sick or has to work late. If you need one or two ducats, this is definitely the way to go. And, it being Craig's List, you might even find a dope-smoking tranny to go with.
17. Yankees Search on eBay Over 20,000 items, from tickets to apparel to memorabilia. You bid on items and some a-hole with a bot beats you with two seconds left.
18. Which New York Yankee Are You? I'm Tino Martinez, because, "You're loved by all, no matter if they hate you or support you and your cause. Within your group you're a great friend, always trying to do your best and come up big when it counts. You're glad to come back to a familiar place, and will do what you can to make the most of it. People believe magical things can happen now that you're in town." What bullshit that is.
19. Futility Infielder Jay Jaffe's baseball journal includes Confessions of a Yankee Fan.
20. NYYfans.com Original postings with a Yankees slant.
21. Win Your Way to the Yankees' Home Opener George M. Steinbrenner III is holding a sweepstakes, and the reward is the Big Unit's debut.
22. Pinstripes Plus Focusing on the Yankees' minor-league teams and players, which I didn't even know we still had. When I think of a Yankees farm system, I think of Japan, Cuba and the American League West.
23. The Weblog That Derek Built So I guess when he's not banging supermodels, Derek Jeter is looking for freelance HTML work.
24. Baseball Futures Odds The Yanks are heavy favorites to win the World Series, of course. My guess is that they've been the preseason favorite every year since 1997.
25. Best Seinfeld Sports Moments Lots of Yankees stuff in this ESPN.com Page 3 piece. Plus, the author is like the greatest dude in the world or something.
26. Greatest World Series-Winning Teams Ever Three Yankees teams lead this TIME.com feature on the most formidable teams that got the job done in October. Plus, the author is like the greatest dude in the world or something.
And wait ... one more for good luck in 2005!
27. Empire Strikes Back 2005 T-Shirts To quote Flyguy from I'm Gonna Git You Sucka: We're going back on the streets. And everything's gonna be just like it used to be.