Despite my 9-1 record picking against the spread this postseason (for no money, of course), tales of my inability to shake a dime from casinos means there's only one certainty in Super Bowl XXXIX: someone's gonna take an interception return to the house. Let me explain.

I credited $100 into an offshore account (in other words, money that I may never see again, no matter what), with the intention of playing around with a few props. Here are some that caught my attention:

• Second-quarter line: Eagles +3 (-125)
• There will be a 100-yard rusher (-120)
• First coach's challenge will overturn call on field (-160)
• Donovan McNabb will be game's MVP (+400)

There were seriously about 1,000 available props, and my first play was that there will not be an interception returned for a TD in the game. The line was -300, which means I had to lay three times as much as I hoped to win. So I clicked a few buttons, planning to risk $30, only to see that the site had accepted a bet of $90 to win $30. Fuck.

Not that it was a huge problem — I liked that bet more than any other — but that left me with only $10, and I'd hoped to have at least a few goofy bets in play. So I dropped the $10 on the Eagles' money line to win (+220), which means I stand to come in either -$100, -$78, +$20 or +$52 (if the Eagles win and there's no interception return for a TD).

Not exactly high stakes, but I'll be in the Bahamas, with a casino on the premises and hundreds of blackjack hands in my future, so there will be plenty of time for me to get my pockets turned upside down. And then there's always Vegas the week after. (You know I'll be betting some serious coin on the Pro Bowl.)

Simms Had the Greatest Super Bowl:
Saw a couple of rankings of Super Bowl QB performances this week. One had Steve Young's 6 TDs against the Chargers at No. 1, and another had Tom Brady's performance last year at No. 1. Both had Phil Simms in Super Bowl XXI (22-25, 268 yards, 3TDs, 0 INTS) at No. 2. I swear these guys are on crack sometimes.

In the most-watched game in the history of one of the NFL's oldest and proudest franchises, Simms completed 22 passes against only three incompletions. Three! HE THREW THREE INCOMPLETIONS!

When the Giants first got the ball down 3-0 to Denver, Simms went 6-for-6, throwing a 6-yard pas to Zeke Mowatt for a 7-3 lead. Down 10-9 to start the second half, Simms went 4-for-4, throwing a 13-yard pass to Mark Bavaro for a 16-10 lead. He completed every pass he threw in the second half, a half in which the Giants dominated en route to a 39-20 win. He was as close to perfect as anyone has ever been in the Super Bowl.

Super Bowl XXI Drive Chart | Statistical Analysis of Super Bowl QB Performances

Game Analysis:
Considering the Eagles have played 15 games that counted, won 14 overall and 11 by double-digits, I think they might be one of the best teams ever to be getting seven points on a neutral field. They shut down Daunte Culpepper and Randy Moss. They shut down Michael Vick. T.O. or no T.O., that defense can ball.

But being without Chad Lewis hurts. Shit being with Freddie Mitchell may hurt even more. No one knows what Terrell Owens is capable of this week, but I don't think eight catches for 120 yards and a couple of scores is too probable. Unless he's playing opossum — a classic Iron Mike Sharpe move — his relative humility hints at a guy who's not too sure of himself.

As for the Pats, you know the deal. Darth Vader didn't employ as many robotic assassins. Gun to my head with a pick on the line? I'm not sure. A touchdown is a lot to give what is clearly the NFL's second-best team (at worst). It wouldn't surprise me to see Philly move up to No. 1. Unless you see a marketable difference in the matchups. I see it pretty even, and I wouldn't lay seven points on reputation.

If they played this game 11 times, do the Patriots win by eight at least six times? I say no.

Patriots 26, Eagles 24

Today's Sports Links:

• Pic of John Elway at Playboy's Halloween Party — The big horse teeth really makes the outfit.

• How Television Killed the Newspaper Sports Column — Glenn Stout makes pretty much the same claim in the foreword in the 2004 edition of the Best American Sports Writing. I don't know, man. The book's entries pretty much refute the point. (Thanks, Eddie)

• Dr. Z's 1984 Sports Illustrated Feature on Jack Lambert — Republished on a rockin' unofficial Steelers site, this profile is an awesome look at a guy who scared the living shit out of people, at 220 pounds. Kinda like Anna Nicole Smith, but with less teeth.

• Jeff Thomason's Dream Vacation — A former Eagles tight end, who last played in 2002, has taken two weeks off from his job with a construction company to fill in for the injured Chad Lewis. If he scores in the Super Bowl, it'll be the most intriguing human-interest story of the weekend. Unless someone returns an interception for a TD in the fourth quarter and I end up murdering the guy. The over/under on Thomason receptions is ½ (-120).

• Dr. Z's Super Bowl Memories — Only Zimmerman could recount tales of drinking with Hunter S. Thompson in a bar so scary that thoughts of a wife and kids back home precluded him from hanging around.

• Players and Their Favorite Playmates — An ESPN.com Page 3 roundup of athletes and their Playmate love interests. I gotta say Scott Posednik wins this Horse Trailer award for nailing Lisa Dergan. That's gotta be the top highlight from the Milwaukee Brewers circa 1983-2004.

• Stupid Questions Asked on Super Bowl Media Day — Talk about jumping the shark. All those entertainment shows that send goofy reporters? Yeesh.

• Syracuse Hoops Blog — All Orange all the time. And now one of my bookmarks. I'll be there Feb. 26 for Senior Day (Hakim Warrick, Josh Pace and Craig Forth) against Providence. If any fellow SU alum readers will be up there, hit me up.

• Marv Levy: Super Bowl Too Close to Call — I love Levy as much as the next guy, but a couple of funny things about this article. No. 1: It's a Super Bowl preview piece and he chickens out of making a prediction. Just make a pick! No. 2: You have to note the irony of reading into what a four-time Super Bowl-losing coach thinks of the game. It's like asking him, "Marv, if you were coaching the Eagles, what would you tell your players this week?" Whatever he says, you'd just have to laugh.

• In '98, McNabb and Syracuse Beat Brady and Michigan — The New York Times recounts perhaps McNabb's greatest day in a Syracuse uniform: a 38-28 win in front of 111,012 fans at Michigan in the Wolverines' first home game after winning the 1997 national title. The game wasn't nearly as close as the final score, and McNabb zoomed to the top of everyone's Heisman list. I can't remember if it was Brady or Drew Henson (both played) who got absolutely destroyed on a blind-side blitz, but whoever it was folded like that fat kid who waved a towel at Jermaine O'Neal.