I might also call this week Rooting Against Myself, as my heart will be with three of the four teams I pick against, but my brain says You Know What's Gonna Happen More Often Than Not So Don't Shit Yourself.

Here we go:

Saturday's Games:

N.Y. JETS (11-6) at PITTSBURGH (15-1), 4:30 p.m., CBS
Remember that Irving Berlin song Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better? Me neither. That's why I had to look it up in Google. But that pretty much sums up this game. Whatever the Jets do well, the Steelers do better. I'm sticking with what I said last week about the Jets: they have a ceiling, and it doesn't rise as high as the NFL's elite, of which Pittsburgh is clearly a member.

The Jets went to OT against the Rams in Week 17. They went to OT against the Chargers in the wild-card round. That's where the Jets are at. Am I telling you something you don't know? God, I hope not. Do the Jets cover? That's where Katcher's Believe it or Not comes in.

Believe it or Not: The Steelers are as good as a typical 15-1 team. Hell no. Ben Roethlisberger ain't no Joe Montana. In fact, neither the Colts, nor the Patriots, Eagles, Vikings or Falcons would trade QBs with Pittsburgh. And this ain't the 1985 Bears defense.

But the Steelers have been the NFL's most consistent team. (Well, the 49ers were consistent, too. Consistently horrible.) I believe in that Pittsburgh home crowd, which will have the most effect of the four weekend games. The game is still played with an oblong ball, one that can bounce a lot of different ways, but I give the Jets a slim chance at best.

Does Pittsburgh win this game more often than not by 9 points? I think so, but I wouldn't bet more than a beer on it.
Spread: Steelers by 9
Paul's Pick: Steelers 27, Jets 17

ST. LOUIS (9-8) at ATLANTA (11-5), 8 p.m. FOX
Welcome to tonight's episode of Have They Blown Their Load? I've been seriously impressed with the Rams the last three weeks. I was high on them last week, but I'm cautious of them this week. These things remain constant: Marc Bulger is the only white QB left in the NFC playoffs (also the worst one), Mike Martz still looks like he crapped his pants, and guys named Isaac and Torry still don't scare me at all.

Believe it or Not: The Falcons Are More Than Michael Vick. People, I saw it with my own eyes. The Giants were 5-4 in Eli Manning's first start and I paid $50 (well below face, thank you) for "Madden" seats — upper deck; middle end-zone. I've never seen a QB move like Vick. I was trying to jab the Hit Stick but to no avail. What am I getting at? Nothing quickly, but he opened up everything for that Falcons offense. I've always loved Warrick Dunn, and I've seen a lot of good things from T.J. Duckett.

A also saw a tough, quick defense. I think the Falcons are legit.

As for the Rams defense, Leonard Little killed someone while drunk driving, and drove drunk again! You tell me why he's still in the league.
Spread: Falcons by 7
Paul's Pick: Falcons 28, Rams 17

Sunday's Games

MINNESOTA (9-8) at PHILADELPHIA (13-3), 1 p.m., FOX
Minnesota hadn't even wrapped up its upset victory at Green Bay before "Anchorman" called to congratulate me on my 4-0 picks last week. (In case I hadn't mentioned that nine times.) Before seeing the spreads I immediately rolled off my picks for this week, none of which I'm too sure of. But we both agreed that the Vikings had won their Super Bowl. Everything I said about the team last week — that they were playing a familiar opponent and would not get lost mentally — goes out the window here.

The only reservation I have is giving any team with Daunte Culpepper and Randy Moss 8½ points. That's a hefty, hefty number for two of the very best offensive players in the game. I can't see Culpepper sleeping here, but Moss did what he had to do last week, and it might be time for a nap.

Believe it or Not: The Eagles are without their most important player in Terrell Owens. Nope, Donovan McNabb is their most important player. The last time a wide receiver was the most important player on an NFL team was never, and if I hear the word "swagger" one more time I'm gonna puke.

Believe it or Not: Philly Will Be Flat After Playing Dead for a Few Weeks. Hell no. It's not like teams haven't rested players in Week 17 before. This was arguably the NFL's best team in the first 14 games. I'm sticking with them despite the fact I would love to see them lose and finish worse in Owens' first season than in the three previous without him.
Spread: Eagles by 8½ points
Paul's Pick: Eagles 31, Vikings 20

INDIANAPOLIS (13-4) at NEW ENGLAND (14-2), 4:30 p.m. CBS
I love this game. Love the players, the coaches, the teams, the fact that no one is gonna preen at midfield or pull out a Sharpie or moon a crowd. I love everything about it except MIke Vanderjagt, who didn't get the memo (either time) that kicker should shut the fuck up and not talk shit about a team he failed to beat by doing the only thing he gets paid $1 million to do.

Did I mention I have a dodgeball game at 5:30 p.m.? Kill me. (At least it's co-ed.)

Believe it or Not: Peyton Manning Is the NFL's Best Player. With absolutely no reservation, yes. He means more to any final score than any person on any team, possibly in the history of the NFL.

Believe it or Not: Tom Brady Is the NFL's Best Player. My ass. That first Super Bowl MVP was bull. 16-27 for 145 yards, 0 INT, 1 TD. (Let me know when I can stop laughing.) The tuck rule. The three-point win against the Panthers. That's the most bullshit "dynasty" I've ever heard of. No "dynasty" misses the payoffs between championship seasons...

... And yet I see that Manning threw four picks against the Pats in last year's playoffs (with Ty Law, out for this game), lost (albeit with Vanderjackoff's non-help) in Week 1, that the Pats are 29-2 in their last 31 games, that they're 6-0 in the postseason under Bill Belichick, that Brady is 18-2 as a starter in games decided by six points or less.

Would you be surprised if the Colts came out with 14 in the first quarter? Would you be surprised if New England forced a couple of punts, ran Corey Dillon and made you think, "Oh yeah, this is the team that won 29 of its last 31 games. And they're at home." That's the beauty of what is, in essence, a pick 'em game.

The public is so clearly in Indy's favor. Vegas no so much. My gut instinct last week when these teams were paired was that New England would win, just like they always do. With a gun to my head, I go Pats. With a beer in my hand, I say go Colts. You go whichever way you want
Spread: Patriots by 2
Paul's Pick: Patriots 27, Colts 23

In Conclusion: Yeah, I went with all home favorites. We separate the cream from the crop here. The home teams earned a bye for a reason, and the reason is that they're the better teams. Gun to my head, money on the line, those are my squads. Rooting interest: the local Jets, Peyton to get rid of the monkey, gotta go for an end to T.O.'s season (even if it costs McNabb a title) and who gives a flying fuck in Rams-Falcons.