Actually, the process was not as hot as it might seem, despite Reuters' report that "the seven top U.S. types of condom they studied did not burst despite vigorous testing."

Unfortunately, such vigorous testing for latex condoms did not include 12 chicks, but rather an air pump.

Said Nancy Metcalf, senior editor of Consumer Reports, "You end up with a balloon 3 feet tall and a foot wide. They can really stretch an amazing amount,"

Oh yeah, then how come they hurt so damn much? (From what I hear. I'm a virgin.)

Other News Links:

• Sandra Bullock Donates $1 to Tsunami Relief Efforts — Gotta give props to this lady, as a cool mil is a hefty sum for just about everyone. Not that I'm cynical or anything, but how does the exact amount get made public? You'd have to have Bullock's permission, right? Maybe it inspires others to do the same. And, if so, I hope the Yankees paying Jason Giambi $12 million to hit .208 will inspire other teams to do the same. 'Cause he's a big reason we might not be getting Carlos Beltran.

• Magazine Toasts Unabashed Alcoholism — The Los Angeles Times on how "every hour is happy hour at Modern Drunkard magazine."

• Tsunami Disaster Might Ease Terrorism — Experts say a rush to aid might ease some of the hard feelings that exist among so many different peoples. And, yes, the United States is involved.

• FoxSports.com Made Its Move in 2004 — Not surprising, almost five years after I left. But I learned a lot there — including the fact that no one listens when an offspring of Rupert Murdoch addresses the office, 'cause we were distracted by thoughts of the broads he must have had over his apartment.

• The 13 Best Movies of 2004 — This is for you, 'cause I see a movie about as often as I hit Shea Stadium (which is once a year, when the Yanks are over at the Purple Dump).

• The Need for Speed — Tweaks, tips, and tricks for adding some pep to that struggling PC.

• Lingerie Bowl Is Back — Certainly the three people who watched last year's pay-per-view are gonna re-up. Hey, remember the Beavis and Butthead Butt Bowl? I'll have to do a post on best and worst Super Bowl halftime alternatives. (Thanks, Shumpy)

• 'We Are the World' Revived for Aid — The 1985 African famine relief benefit song is being revived for tsunami relief efforts in a new Chinese version featuring Jackie Chan, among others. When it's socially acceptable to make a joke about this, I will. (BTW, there are plenty of companies who are matching donations, so look for those. I found one today, somewhat curbing my feelings of immense guilt for being a lucky S.O.B.)