AFI, the American Film Institute, apparently hasn't gotten the memo. The turn of the millennium was nearly five years ago, and it can stop coming out with best-ever lists. But lists on the Internet are like crack to me. If I saw a headline for Top 10 Ways to Insert a Suppository, I'd probably read it. So, of course, I'm eating up AFI's 100 Years ... 100 Movie Quotes, which is in the nomination phase, with 400 contenders for the top 100 spots.
All 400 nominations can be browsed in .pdf form (147K), not too heavy a page load considering it's 103 pages, bloated beyond belief with not only the movie and actor for each line, but the production company, screenwriters, director and producer (in other words, shit we don't care about).
Quotes will be judged on their cultural impact and legacy, however redundant that may sound. Based on that, here are some thoughts.
True Contenders for No. 1:
• "May the force be with you." — Star Wars
• "Toto, I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore." — The Wizard of Oz
• "Play it, Sam." — Casablanca
• "Here's looking at you, kid." — Casablanca
• "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." — Gone With the Wind
Worth a Look, But No Real Chance:
• "You can't handle the truth!" — A Few Good Men
• "I'll be back." — The Terminator
• "I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse." — The Godfather
• "I could've been a contender." — On the Waterfront
• "Here's Johnny!" — The Shining
• "You talkin' to me?" — Taxi Driver
• "Go ahead. Make my day." — Sudden Impact
Nominations Close to My Heart:
• "It's good to be the king!" — History of the World: Part I
• "Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue." — Airplane!
• "I was born a poor black child." — The Jerk
• "Wax on. Wax off." — The Karate Kid
• "No wire hangers ever!" — Mommie Dearest
• "Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son." — Animal House
What in God's Name Is This Doing on the List?
• "I know you are, but what am I?" — Pee Wee's Great Adventure
I Would Love to See Either No. 1 if Only for the Press Releases:
• "I'm your worst fucking nightmare, man! A nigger with a badge." — 48 Hours
• "Sometimes you gotta say, 'What the fuck?'" — Risky Business
Pretty Much My Motto:
• "Get busy livin', or get busy dyin'." — The Shawshank Redemption
My Favorite Quote Ever, and I'm So Psyched It's on the List:
• "I have come here to kick ass and chew bubble gum. And I'm all out of bubble gum." — They Live
Glaring Omissions:
• "No more yanky my wanky, the Donger need food." — Sixteen Candles
• "We're goin' streaking!" — Old School
• "Why don't you come and see me some time when you have no class?" — Back to School
• "When I was growing up, if we wanted a Jacuzzi, we had to fart in the tub." — Trading Places
• "I'll suck your cock for a thousand dollars." — The Big Lebowski
• "Just when I thought you couldn't get any dumber, you go and do something like this ... and totally redeem yourself!" — Dumb & Dumber
• "What the fuck's a frush?" — Revenge of the Nerds
• "You run like Mays, but you hit like shit." — Major League
• "Hey, try not to suck any dicks on the way to the parking lot." — Clerks
• "I'm a people person. I deal with the customers so the engineers don't have to. Don't you get that? What the hell is wrong with you people!" — Office Space
(AFI link found on Complete and Total Bisch)
Other Web Finds:
• Bill Lumbergh Soundboard — If you could just click on this link, that would be great.
• C.C. Banana on MySpace — Someday I gotta do an interview with this rock 'n' roll fruit who "first gained notoriety for publicly lampooning Poison guitar maverick C.C. DeVille. C.C. Banana again made news for staring down rock & roll man-child Sebastian Bach."
• 2004 Fantasy Fest Photos — You know the drill. Painted bodies, not safe for work. Yada, yada.
• Piano Cover of Down With the Sickness — Do ya' feel that? Ohhhhh, shit. Get up, c'mon get down with the sickness.
• Maxim's Best of the Web 2004 — PK.com isn't listed, so I don't know how much validity to give to this collection of best websites.
• Seinfeld Goofs and Nitpicks Guide — This gives minutiae a whole new meaning.
• Fuck Off! Now at Target — Just another album to buy along with Michael Bolton's Greatest Hits.
• Is That a Real Ding-a-Ling Next to Queen Elizabeth? — Doctored photo of not? Snopes is unsure as of PK.com press time. (Thanks, Larry)
• Yale Students Trick Harvard Supporters Into Holding Up 'We Suck' Signs — Genius, but would be funnier if they didn't both suck.
What, nothing from "Back To School"?
Posted by Mike at December 2, 2004 8:21 PM