Thanks to a mullet wig ($19.95 at Ricky's), a piece of cardboard, some wrapping paper, a bow and a tag that reads: "From: God; To: Women," the Lupus Foundation of America is more well-endowed. (And I don't even have to add a line after that one.)

I ended up winning the Cheesiest Costume Award at the ZogSports charity party (read more on ZogSports on Newsweek.com), and while I would never in a million years post a picture of me sporting that dead raccoon, you can see for yourself in person when God's Gift to Women makes its much-awaited return Saturday night at the MurphGuide Halloween Bash at Katwalk on Saturday night.

As for you ladies, you can't go wrong with a Light-Up Twinkle Dancer costume. Shake it like a Polaroid.

Happy Halloween, everyone.

And now, for a link-dump:

Web Finds:

• 100 Scariest Movie Scenes of All Time — A well-produced feature by RetroCrush.com, a web A-lister. Frankly, though, I thought Hamburger ... The Motion Picture got screwed. That pickle torture chamber scared the bejeezus out of me.

• Girl Determined to Fuck Tucker — I'm beginning to understand why people gravitate to the writings of Tucker Max, even though I don't believe 10% of his stuff is true. But he is funny, if also a huge asshole. I love the part where he asks a girl for an autograph and, when she asks who he thinks she resembles, he says, "The Incredible Hulk." (By the way, Tucker also has a story about being God's Gift to Women for Halloween, but I didn't find it till after settling on my get-up, inspired by this version, which was $70 a couple of blocks from my apartment.)

• BrowardHotSpots.com Is Now 95South.com — Our boys Alex, Marc and Tommy are back with their takes (and pictures) of the South Florida club scene. our trip to the Bahamas get rescheduled to Super Bowl weekend, so meet up with us and the Circuit Girls for some football, gambling, golf, drinking and bikini chicks. (Ya know, if you're into that sorta thing.) As for the old BrowardHotSpots.com, looks like some reality porn site took it over. Not like anyone else is paying for domain names these days.

• Lyrics to Jesus Was a Country Boy by Clay Walker — Clay Walker is not a comedian, by the way. This shit is for real, yo.

• Paula LaRocca Bikini Portfolio — Brought to you by the letters T and A.

• Put a Brain in Bush — An easy Flash game that pays off in funny quotes from the Pres, which may or may not be real and unedited.

• Video: Ashlee Simpson on SNL — In case you're one of the five people in the world who hasn't seen it. Love the rain dance, babe!

Sports:

• 'The Curse' Is Dead, But Not Yankees — MSNBC.com contributor Tony DeMarco does a process of elimination to see who next year's MLB favorite will be. (Hint: They play in the Bronx.) Like Bob Ryan, I'm out of the predictions business (something he said before Game 7 of the ALCS) but I like a team's chances one year after winning 101 regular-season games with having only a few players exceed expectations (Cairo, Matsui, Gordon), while a ton either tanked (Brown, Vazquez, Giambi) or were too inconsistent to be relied upon (uh, like everyone else).

• Fans Who Taunted the Post-Tkachuks Area Disgrace — A column in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch on Cardinals' fans harassment of Blues player Keith Tkachuk — a Red Sox supporter — at Busch Stadium. All together now: asshole fans are killing live sports. (Thanks Art)

• Keep Retired Jerseys Retired — A writer who never forgave the guy who wore No. 28 for the Minnesota Vikings after Ahmad Rashad says there's no way the Seahawks should make No. 80 available to Jerry Rice. And speaking of the Yankees (we were, right?), should they retire Bernie's? He was there for the lean years and was a major cog in the four Series championships. But if you do, you open up a can of worms for Tino and O'Neill. Mariano and Jeter are automatics.

• Cubs Player Takes Bat to Sosa's Boom Box — In an article about why Sammy Sosa could and maybe should end up in the Bronx, the Chicago Tribune's Paul Sullivan writes that, "Surely Sosa must realize he has no future in Chicago, and neither does his boom box; a teammate is said to have taken a bat to it after Sosa's disappearing act on the final day of the season."

• 10 Most Embarrassing TV/Radio Interview Moments — All of them were classic, but I totally missed the exchange between Roy Williams and Bonnie Bernstein after the 2003 national championship game. Must've had something to do with that Syracuse title I was celebrating.

New York:

• Nov. 13: Springsteen Tribute/Benefit Concert — Man, I dig The Boss, and if you're in NYC on November 13, come see the most kick-ass tribute band, Tramps Like Us, as they make their third annual visit to the Lion's Den to support the Marc S. Zeplin Foundation, in honor of a father killed on 9/11. Great music, and an even better cause.

• Diva School: Naughty But Nice — Register your girlfriends to learn the art of striptease. This is a fundamental quality of being a true woman.

• VelvetList's NYC Club Photos — I go to clubs like every other never — can't get into the music — but even the pics make for good people-watching.

• Overheard in New York — A blog about things, um, overheard, in, um, New York.

• Rick Astley's NYC Concert Dates Cancelled — Must be moving from the Supper Club to MSG to handle the demand.

• Upper East Side Megasite — A portal for all things UES. In other words, bland, preppy and without a decent subway line. (Except for the 4 to Yankee Stadium.)