But the gem of them all came from a handful of 1987 Topps WWF cards that I must have purchased when I decided that 67 Don Mattingly cards from that year was enough. That gem is Frankie, Koko B. Ware's ringside compadre who's probably buried in somewhere in Vince McMahon's backyard. And if anyone has proof of owning this same card, I'll send a PK.com shirt out to ya.

Unlike baseball cards, there are no "stats" to provide for Frankie. I guess Topps could've included Koko's record, but 5-242 is embarrassing, even by S.D. Jones' standards. There is a short bio, however, and I'd like to share it with you:

FRANKIE
Weight: Light as a feather
From: The jungles of South America

Frankie is Koko B. Ware's macaw. During matches, Koko, the "Birdman," leaves Frankie on a perch at ringside. Frankie cheers on Koko by squawking. Frankie and Koko are great friends.

I don't think I even have to follow up on that last line.

And since this week has been so sports-heavy, I've got a ton of links to throw at ya for the weekend.

Web Finds:

• The XXX Project — A not-work-safe (as always, depending on your job) photo book of porn stars both clothed and nude. My favorite part, besides the naked chicks? That the book is published by Bulfinch Press, owned by Time Warner. I don't think you'll find any copies handed out in the lobby of the TWC at Columbus Circle, though. An HBO (also owned by Time Warner) special on the event debuts Oct. 28 at 11 p.m. Two days later an exhibit of the photos opens in New York on at Mary Boone Gallery on West 24 Street. (West 24 Street is not owned by Time Warner.)

• The Webtender's Drinking Games — Trying to get that special someone to do something she'll regret? You can't go wrong with a drinking game at home. They receive my highest recommendation, a full five stars.

• DEA Advisories on How Drugs Are Smuggled — Pics and stories behind drug dealers' busted attempts to traffic narcotics. Hey, druggies, crack is whack! (Thanks, Shumpy)

• Time Out New York's Sex Survey — Be honest, are you more interested in "coating the face," "splattering the chest," or "filling the mouth?" I'm a virgin, so I don't even know what they're talking about.

• New York Times Photo Archives — Stunning shots, though some of them I've taken on my own for a few hundred bucks less.

• Video of Jon Stewart on Crossfire — He ain't the first guy to call Tucker Carlson a "dick." OK, maybe the first to do it on the show, but damn if watching this wasn't uncomfortable. Know your role, man. And I mean Stewart. He accepted their invite to be a guest and ambushed them.

• Who Let the Dogs Out Slidehow — Pictures of some ugly broads set to ugly music. (Thanks, Tracy)

• TV Station Reports That Bush Has Been Elected President — Another web producer mistakenly hits the "publish" button. And he doesn't even work for FOXNews.com.

• BlogExplosion.com — A new directory of blogs that lets you reap some traffic rewards from referring visitors to other blogs not as good as mine.

• 365 Days of Cock & Ball Torture — Haven't read a word on this S&M blog, but damn if it isn't the most intriguing title I've come across.

• YetiSports Olympics — Lots of games by the folks who brought you that penguin game I played like a zillion times at my last job. (Thanks, Mike)

News:

• The Myth of the Megapixel — A quality article by Smartmoney.com on what to really look for when buying a digital camera.

• Fat Roommate Travels All the Way to Tennessee Just to Fuck Some Girl — Oh, just when you think The Onion is out of ideas. (As usual, I didn't read a word past the headline. They should call it TheHeadline.com)

• Americans Win Gold at World Cyber Games — USA! USA! It's like the Dream Team of dorks.

• Affleck Must Be Stopped — If you're a Bush supporter, a Yankees fan or anyone who appreciates a decent movie, ya gotta be sick of this guy.

• The Irony of Nazi Collectibles — A quick column by a guy who says that censoring collections damages rights to a free society. Do I even have to denounce Nazism before saying the captured Nazi flag I saw at the War Museum in Paris was truly a powerful experience. To think what it must have been like to take that flag, a symbol of taking back your life. I'm a magazine collector, with tons of old issues of Time, including a 1942 issue depicting Franz Halder. It's creepy, it's tucked away somewhere, but it's history. For me, it's a reminder to do good, not evil. Anyway, the article links to a page on eBay where it says it will generally remove items that bear symbols of the Nazis or KKK. A quick search by me showed more than 1,900 items found in a search for "nazi" and 70 for "kkk."

• Vibrator Shuts Down Australian Airport — Lynne Bryant, the manager of the cafeteria where the humming sex toy was left behind, said it sounded exactly like a vibrator, but it was better to be safe then sorry. Hmmm, and how would she know that?

• Kin Work to Enshrine Afghan War's U.S. Dead — Families act to preserve the memory of the forgotten heroes in an often forgotten war.

• News of CIA Officer Mike Spann's Death in Afghanistan — An old story on CNN, of the first American killed in the War on Terror, but I remember this making big news, way before the U.S. death toll would rise almost every day, and often several at a time. I don't know how many people thought we'd lose well over 1,000 servicemen and women over the next two years. I didn't.

• We'll Miss You and Your Fart Jokes, Rodney — The best remembrance I've read on the great comedian. (I know, I've been keeping these links for awhile.) Anyway, it's really funny and speaks to all who are sentimental about fart jokes, which is pretty much all of you.

Sports:

• Woman Killed By Police During Red Sox 'Celebration' — Horrible stuff. So it this photo of a Sox fan bloodied during a "celebration", so is a photo of a guy throwing a smoke bomb outside Fenway during a "celebration." Sad to say it, but I did think Yanks-Sox would claim a life in 2004, and it did.

• Cashman to Return as Yanks GM — The Cash-Man is coming back. But who's he gonna bring with him?

• Vitale Hasn't Paid for Cincy Student's Books — Remember 10 years ago when the kid at Cincinnati's Midnight Madness hit the half-court shot to get a free year of tuition and Dick Vitale promised him he'd "buy the books" if the student converted? Dickie V. never paid up, though the student says Vitale had been trying to get in touch with him.

• Brother of Max Kellerman Murdered — And the suspect is a boxer, nonetheless. Horrible tragedy.

• Peter King Chats With Terrell Owens — Right now the Eagles receiver is on par with Barry Bonds. Not for anything on the field, but just for being a dick. He says Jeff Garcia's inability to get him the ball "left a lot — a lot — of touchdowns on the field throughout the last two or three years." Garcia's and Owens' new teams go head-up this weekend.

• Giambi's Saga Starts to Hit Home — A Daily News article that's more than a month old touches on something I've been thinking about for some time: "Players also say they are concerned that teams may try to void contracts of players they believe are doomed to disability because of steroid use, though none was able to cite specific examples. One high-ranking major league official says he suspects that the Yankees have been exploring ways to void Giambi's contract, though if they try to do so, they will certainly face fierce opposition from the Players Association."