But still, the video contains only a hint of gay porn, on the set of absolutely nobody's favorite show (except Simmons), Who's Line Is It Anyway?

I used to think a more appropriate title for the show would have been Who Watches This Shit Anyway? but then I remembered the U.S. population could name more cast members on The Apprentice than members of President Bush's cabinet. When it comes to television, if it blinks, moves or explodes, people will watch it. But enough about Pedro Martinez' ERA.

For those unfamiliar with Who's Line Is It Anyway?, it's an improv comedy sketch where cast members are given a situation to play out. They deliver unrehearsed jokes, and the audience follows up by changing the channel to The Simpsons or Chappell's Show. But that's before Simmons took time out of his busy schedule of selling diet products to obese insomniacs to make a guest spot on the show.

Some of the highlights:

• Simmons volunteers, "I'll be the prop. I'll be all the props with these men."

• Simmons tries to kiss one of the dudes, simulates fellatio on another and is one-half of a human life raft (put the bamboo sticks together) with Wayne Brady.

Without question, Richard Simmons is one of the great comedic minds of our time. And like all great men, he tends to think only with his penis.

(Link originally found on GorillaMask.net, which is celebrating its 1000th redesign this week.)

Other Web Finds:

• Conan O'Brien's 2000 Harvard Commencement Address — One of the great contributions by the man who will be host of NBC's Tonight Show in five years. Assuming he doesn't pull a Ricky Williams and leaves a successful career to smoke pot in Australia. Highlight: "After freshman year, I moved to Mather House. Mather House, incidentally, was designed by the same firm that built Hitler's bunker. In fact, if Hitler had conducted the war from Mather House, he would have shot himself a year earlier. Saved us a lot of trouble." (Thanks, Grant)

• One Across: Crossword Puzzle Help — A free site that helps you cheat at completing crossword puzzles. Remember, it's not cheating if you don't get caught. And if you get caught cheating at crossword puzzles, you've got some serious problems.

• Party at Hedonism II With Playboy Chicks — I can think of a worse way to spend a week. Like watching a Who's Line Is It Anyway? marathon.

• Leslie Warren's Fotki Photos — A hot broad in Maryland posts her best snapshots. I think she works at Hooters. If not, she should.

• Harpoontang Music Now Downloadable for Free — My man Tequila Dave's rockin' misogynistic classics (Do-Able Mommies, Tell Your Husband See What I Care, My Little Rugburns, etc.) are now available for download in MP3 format. Also check out his Q&A section, where he answers questions from people who hate him, including the Yorkville Neighborhood Watch Program. Highlight: "The other evening my 14-year-old son was walking his collie Pugsly and said you handed him a flyer threatening to shove Pugsly's waste down his throat. He said you were drunk and he was very frightened. Do you think that’s funny threatening a teenage boy?"

• Photos: Some Dude's Infatuation With Nicole Eggert — Not pictured: 100 jars of Vaseline.

• Portable Stripper Pole — Move it from room to room in 30 seconds. Which is good, because you can't be idling while the Jack Daniel's wears off. (Thanks, Art)

• Photos: Wolfendale's Victoria Secret Night — A lot of girls entertain a Pennsylvania bar in lingerie. If you're into that sort of thing.

• Vanity Date — An online dating site that screens pics and rejects chunkmonsters and those otherwise looking like the crew in the Star Wars cantina. I'm guessing the hot broads on this site are only 90% fake, down from 95% on most sites. C'mon, if you ran one of these sites, how would you try to make money?

• A Man Without a Party — A loyal PK.com reader launches his own sports-politics blog. Good luck to him. And if anyone else wants a quick plug, let me know. Or ask Richard Simmons. He's usually up for it.