The Good
In what may go down as one of the ugliest championship softball games ever played, Time magazine defended its Publishing League title Tuesday night, defeating the New York Times, 6-3, on Central Park's Great Lawn. It was a fiesty little affair, complete with me getting hit square in the nuts when, after arriving into second and spreading my arms to indicate that I was safe, the Times' shortstop wheeled around and cracked me with a hard tag to the family jewels. About three seconds too late, but way to go there, Luis Aparicio. Our shortstop tried to even things out with a hard slide later in the game. They appreciated that like they would a return of Jayson Blair.

Ugly. Ugly. Ugly. And yet the victory was cemented on a beautiful diving stab by our left-handed third baseman (who actually works for Fortune), with their clean-up hitter at the plate, representing the potential tying run.

We then celebrated at the same bar the Times decided to go to. And I gotta tell you, there's nothing better than toasting your team's title, seeing the losing team look over in jealousy, and then toasting them with all the sincerity of Don King. In all honesty, their gang is pretty cool. One of 'em even joined our party group to karaoke at Bourbon Street and a trip to Yogi's. And they'd have to hit each of us in the balls 12 times before we hated them half as much as we do The Village Voice.

Mayor Bloomberg has yet to reply to our request for a parade up the Canyon of Heroes. As team RBI champ, I shall be expecting a key to the city, as well.

The Bad
Delta wants me to die. Today was to be the day I left for the Bahamas. Well, Hurricane Frances, a Category 4 with 140 mph winds, is arriving there soon as well. So I am sitting at my computer instead of risking my life. Since the Delta flight today left as scheduled, I am not being offered a refund. Instead, I can take the same departure flight, if I choose, sometime between now and Monday.

So far I have spoken to five people at Delta. Twice the connection got lost, once I was told I could get a refund, then was transfered to someone who said I could use the $300 to fly anywhere between now and Monday. Finally, a lady told me I could fly only to the Bahamas between now and Monday. Thanks, assclown! How's Friday sound, when I can either get whacked by a falling palm tree or help the locals clean up the damage?

Perhaps they would be interested in this news item:
"As the storm headed to the Bahamas, a chain of some 700 islands, the U.S. State Department issued a travel warning, urging people to consider the potential risk of travel to the Bahamas and the Turks and Caicos. About 200 non-emergency personnel and their family members working at the U.S. Embassy in Nassau and other U.S. government agencies in the Bahamas were being evacuated to the US mainland, said Stacie Zerdecki, an embassy spokeswoman."

I'm not through with Delta yet.

The Ugly
Upon arriving at McAleer's to celebrate our softball title, I see that Javier Vazquez is keeping in line with the rest of the Yanks' starters, allowing three runs in the first inning. We know what happened after that: three more, three more, and finally 13 more after that. 22-0.

Sure I would have preferred any type of victory, but if it was gonna be a loss I'm glad it went down like that. Much better than if it had been 22-1 or 12-5 or 4-3 or anything in between. 22-0. At home. Good.

Statistically, it's the worst loss in Yankees history, but is it really any worse than when the Astros no-hit the Yankees, 8-0, last June 11? That loss dropped the Yanks ½ game behind the Red Sox. Now they're 3 ½ up. Both situations kinda felt the same the day after.

Last year's no hitter dropped the Yankees to 36-28. It had been their 24th loss in the last 40 games. After the no-hitter, they went 65-33, won the AL East by six games and kicked the Sox in the gut once again.

This year we'll see. Hard to imagine anyone considering them a World Series favorite right now, but I don't think many thought the same after they got no-hit at home, either.