But after downloading the video off Limewire Pro and watching it about two dozen times, I now love these clowns. I mean, I still want the Bears to lose 12 games for the 10th year in a row, but credit them for even attempting such a stunt, which, nearly two decades later, comes off a lot less cocky than it may have seemed at the time. It was a charitable effort — and a goofy one — and I've gotten so many e-mails from Bears fans sharing their childhood and teen memories about the '85 Bears and how they shuffled at home or at school. That's part of what makes sports great, ya know?

Nowadays you can't watch a video game TV commercial without Ray Lewis screaming at you. Gonna be some great childhood memories coming out of that!

My Super Bowl Shuffle column went live Wednesday afternoon and, as of PK.com press time, it's the most-emailed story of the last 24 hours across the site. Did you know ESPN even had a page monitoring the virility of its content. Just in case Bill Simmons takes the lead with a 3,000-worder on why Dawson's Creek used to be so much better than The O.C., I saved a screenshot of my place at the top.

Some tid-bits not in the column later shared by Bears fans:

• The L.A. in "L.A." Mike Richardson stood for Lazy Ass.
• Steve Fuller called out Atlanta and Dallas in his rap because he subbed for Jim McMahon against those teams. The Bears pitched a shutout in both.

And Now for Today's Sports Ruminations

• I'm running a PK.com NFL pick 'em pool on Yahoo! Sports. Throw your hat into the ring and compete against up to 50 fellow PK.com readers to see who's best against the spread ... and who should stick to picking only his nose. To join, look for league #15536 and enter the password "yanksrule". Free to join, and I'll come up with some season-ending prizes. Everybody in the pool!

• TIME magazine advanced to its third straight Publisher's League softball championship game, beating Lippincott Books, 8-4, on the Great Lawn of Central Park on Wednesday. Yep, that was me batting clean-up (2B, 3B, 2 runs, 2 RBIs in three at-bats) and patrolling left-center field. And if Republican Convention protesters disrupt next Tuesday's title game, I'm gonna hit one of their heads for a homer. And you can read about it in the New York Times. Barring an upset victory by Penguin Books in the other semi-final, that's who we're gonna play in a rematch of last year's championship. We beat them twice this year, both times close, I think. One of our guys led off the bottom of the seventh with a game-tying homer in the first game. Can't remember his name. Runs a website or something. Softball on the Great Lawn — can't beat it.

• Before NBC's telecasts, I knew Carly won and Rulon lost. I knew everything Phelps and Beard did. I knew Hamm won. I knew how the U.S. hoops team performed. I knew Misty May and the chick that doesn't have a porn-star name won. I knew everything. I HATE tape-delayed coverage! The only choice is to not expose yourself to TV, Internet or radio during the day. It's killing me.

• The Yankees suck right now. If you told me in April they'd be 5 1/2 games up in late August, I would have taken it gladly, but they're not playing well. A-Rod can't hit with runners on. The three solid bullpen guys (Quan-Gord-Mo) are overworked. No starting pitcher can throw a gem. El Duque is the friggin' ace. Giambi is out and no one cares. I always thought the Sox had a run in them, so I'm not pissed at that. But we've got to take care of ourselves. And someone has got to go out there and pitch seven innings of one-run ball. Please, fellas.

• All women's sports should be played in swimsuits. Softball, basketball, golf, I don't care. I mean, I could give a crap about diving, swimming and beach volleyball, but damn if I'm not glued to the screen. Even some of the track girls have got it goin' on.

Today's Sports Links:

• Dennis Frey Sr. Memorial Football Survival — A PK.com reader is doing something nice in the name of his recently deceased father. Go and support cancer research by donating at least $5 (but you can do better). And, whatever you do, don't pick the Giants in Week 1.

• Pimpled Poker Faces — Nice job out of ESPN.com to report on how poker — which they've helped elevate to a fad — has caught on with kids too young to be gambling legally.

• How Well Do You Know Yankee Stadium? — I got only 7 out of 10, but jeez, what the hell do I know about papal visits? (Found on Complete and Total Bisch, written by a fellow Yanks die-hard)

• College Basketball Blog — Links and commentary, updated daily, on college hoops. Don't miss the aggregated preseason rankings from a number of sources. Kansas is 1, 2 or 3 everywhere, except one guy has 'em at 12. Vitale has UNC at 1, while someone else has 'em at 14. Wake, Georgia Tech and Duke are the only teams in everyone's top-10. Incredible, considering they play in the same conference. Syracuse is anywhere from 4 to 11. I'll take it.

• Gatlin Wants New, Less Brash Image for Track and Field — Cheers to that. Maurice Greene looked like a punk out there in the 100m final. That ain't what the Olympics is about, man. I like Gary Hall's preening and pre-race routine, but it's more clownish than anything.

• I Wasted Money on This Shit Game! — A thread on EA Sports' own message board, started by a guy who is less then pleased with his Madden 2005 purchase.