Let there be no doubt that man's will to drink for free will overcome the forces of Mother Nature every time. This past Saturday was our annual Shore house party, relatively sparsley attended because it rained all god damn day, but we still managed to go through five kegs, 270 margaritas and countless shots off a 300-pound ice block. Early on we feared nobody would show. Then outta nowhere it kicked into gear, just like when the Omega Mus showed up at the Revenge of the Nerds bash.
It was something right out of the movies, so I got to thinking: What are the best parties in cinematic history? Here's what I came up with:
Sixteen Candles
Highlights: The Donger ends up in the tree. (And, no, he's not retarded.) I think Farmer Ted woke up under a coffee table. Like, who hasn't?
Back to School
Highlights: Oingo Boingo performing Dead Man's Party. Thornton asking poety majors to straighten out his Longfellow.
Revenge of the Nerds
Highlights: Wonderjoints. The Mus. Dudley's ass-grabbing. Are You Ready for the Sex Girls?
Old School
Highlights: Snoop Dogg. Streaking. "Do it again. Do it again. It tastes so good when it hits your lips."
Animal House
Highlights: Marion Wormer crashing the party. The mayor's passed-out, teen-aged daughter being returned home in a shopping cart.
Bachelor Party
Highlights: Chicks and guns and fire trucks and hookers and drugs and booze. Adrian Zmed saying he wants a woman he can really respect, then following up with, "Look at the cans on that bimbo!"
Trading Places
Highlights: People putting butts out on Bill Ray's Persian rug.
American Pie
Highlights: Stiffler's mom. Stiffler drinking a cup of spunk. Bitches!
Karate Kid
Highlights: Daniel running out of the Halloween party after turning a hose on a Cobra Kai in the crapper, then getting his brains bashed in by the chain-link fence.
Can't Buy Me Love
Highlights: The debut of the new Ronald Miller.
Not to be picky, but I believe it isn't Dean Wormer's wife that is returned in the shopping cart - it's the mayor's daughter, who Larry Kroger brings home after she passes out when they're making out in Hoover's room. God, I have seen that movie so many times it's pathetic.
Posted by Cory at August 16, 2004 7:56 AM(Ed. Note: Fixed now. Thanks!)