Nope, it's not a TV director's command at a White House press conference. It's none other than Dudley "Booger" Dawson ordering a better voyeuristic view of the Pi Delta Pi sorority's finest.

In its August 2004 issue, FHM reunites much of the Revenge of the Nerds cast 20 years after the movie's release. And what a movie it was.

Known best for being a work so great even Ted McGinley couldn't screw it up — like he did Happy Days, Love Boat and Married ... With Children — Nerds taught us that a frush doesn't beat a pair of sixes, that nothing kicks a frat bash into gear like spinning Are You Ready For The Sex Girls? by Gleaming Spires, and that those Mus sure can party.

FHM's retro feature isn't nearly as great online as it is in the magazine, which includes updated photos of Betty Childs, Ogre, Takashi and more, but it does share with surfers some things you did not know about the movie. Such as the fact that Curtis Armstrong accepted the role of Booger only because he needed the money. And all this time I thought it was because he loved to pick his nose on camera.

Memorable Quotes From Revenge of the Nerds:

Poindexter: Wait. Wait. Would you rather live in the ascendency of a society or in its decline?
Omega Mu Girl: Poindexter, are we going to fuck, or what?

Takashi: Hair pie? [Takes picture.] Sank you. Hair pie? [Takes picture] Sank you.

Coach Harris: Enough of the social bullshit. Grab a cot. Move it or lose it!

Gilbert: She's not that kind of girl, Booger.
Booger: Why? Does she have a penis?

Louis: There's 6,127 students at Adams, 58% of which are girls.
Gilbert: So?
Louis: So, that's 7,107.32 boobs.

Booger: Do you have a room to rent?
Mr. Stewart: No for rent.
Booger: I thought it was for rent.
Mr. Stewart: Fuck off.

Stan Gable: What are you looking at, nerd?
Booger: I thought I was looking at my mother's old douche-bag, but that's in Ohio.

Judy: Maybe we should eat?
Harold Wormser: Maybe we should watch TV?
Booger: Hey guys... [opens his leather jacket to reveal some marijuana cigarettes] ... wonder joints.

Takashi: Maybe we should have robster craws.
Booger: [Strumming his guitar.] What the fuck are robster craws?

Louis: Have any of you guys got dates for Saturday night besides Gilbert?
Lamar: I have.
Booger: Yeah, but that's with a guy.
Louis: Well, what about you Booger?
Booger: Hey, I've been out combing the high schools all day.

By the way, if you don't know at least a few lines from the movie-ending rap, you're not allowed in my apartment. Here's the entire diddy:

Clap your hands everybody, and everybody clap your hands!

We're Lambda Lambda Lambda and Omega Mu
We come here on stage tonight to do a show for you

We've got a rockin' rhythm and a high tech sound
That'll make you move your body down to the ground

We've got Poindexter on the violin
And Louis and Gilbert will be joinin' in

We've got Booger Presley on a mean guitar
And a rap by little old me Lamar

We've got Takashi beating on his gong
The boys and the Mus are clapping along

And just when you thought you'd seen it all
Along comes a Lambda four feet tall

So Wormser come on out here on the floor
So we can move our bodies like never before

Breeeeaaaakkk!

Other Web Finds:

• X-Entertainment.com's '80s Commercials — Not only does this retro page feature the seared dog meat known as Mighty Dog, but there's also a downloadable video of Roddy Piper going nuts in a spot for the WWF. Ya gotta check it out. Favorite Piper quote ever, of course, came in the movie They Live. "I came to kick ass and chew bubble gum. And I'm all out of bubble gum." I use that maybe once a month in some situation or another.

• The 500 Coolest Chicks Ever — A lot of sci-fi crap in there, but a well-put-together ranking that includes some good writing and decent pics.

• Mark Cuban Bets Against Google — The Mavericks owner details a new search engine, Ice Rocket, which he's "working with." So far I'm not overly impressed.

• Police Academy Figurines — I saw a bit of the classic flick Tuesday, and I realized you really don't catch all the jokes till about the 1,564th viewing. I loved all the Tackleberry dialogue ("If you want penetration..."). And the shower singing. "Captain Mauser. Yowsa, yowsa, yowsa!"

• Hollywood Height Chart — Best actor inch-for-inch? Dustin Hoffman at 5-5½. Most ass for a midget? Prince at 5-3. Fight I wanna see? Lurch (Ted Cassidy; 6-9) vs. Bull (Richard Moll; 6-8).

• Photos: Last Night for Village Idiot — Not my pics, but from someone who braved the crowd to say goodbye to one of NYC's most-beloved dive bars.

• Ol' 96-er Cheeseburger — A six-pound burger offered by a restaurant in Pennsylvania. Patrons get three hours to finish and no one has done it. Included in the $23.95 price tag, a half-head of lettuce and two full onions. (Thanks, John)

• Ralph Wiggum Soundboard — For you Simpsons freaks.

• Worst Songs From the Greatest Rockers — Some good picks here, including Who's Zoomin' Who? by Aretha Franklin. I gotta go with Glory Days as Bruce Springsteen's worst, if only because his collection of great songs is so extensive I can't believe anybody would play it on the juke. Way too popular for what it is.

• Nerve.com's Rant in Your Undies Video Contest — Got something to tell the world? Say it in your skivvies. No chunkmonsters!