The break-up comes just as the Backstreet Boys are set to release a new album and head on tour, proving that Carter is smarter than anyone's given him credit for. The split also reaffirms that getting a lover's name tattooed on your body is the most bankable kiss of death out there.

Other kisses of death I've thought of:

• Calling out Babe Ruth. — Pedro Martinez did this on May 31, 2001, saying, "I don't believe in curses. Wake up the damn Bambino. Maybe I'll drill him in the ass." Martinez failed to win a game the rest of the year, and the Sox lost their final seven games to the Yankees in a season in which they failed to make the playoffs. The Sox also lost both games Pedro started against the Yanks in the 2003 ALCS.

• Judging a Woman's Attractiveness on Her Voice — Sure she sounds hot on the phone. Did you know that pizza grease soothes vocal chords like nothing else?

• Leaving Your Car in a No-Parking Zone for Five Minutes — You might as well write the ticket yourself. The disgruntled, sadistic traffic cop is always right around the corner.

• Getting a Call From My Friend Ed During a Blowout — He called when the Giants were bitch-slapping the 49ers in the playoffs two years ago. Next thing I knew, the game was over and the Giants were laying all over the ground on a failed field-goal attempt. Then he called when Syracuse had an 18-point lead over Kansas in the 2003 NCAA hoops final. If not for Hakim Warrick's block of a potential game-tying three-point shot in the waning seconds, we wouldn't still be friends.

• Tequila — Self-explanatory.

• Making a Sex Tape — A double for Paris Hilton. If the Internet doesn't get you, the divorce proceedings will. And yet, I'm strangely attracted to the notion. Ryan Perry has a great post on Pirates pitcher Kris Benson's hot wife, who dabbles in the same genre of film-making.

• Refusing to Play for the Ravens — If I were Terrell Owens' mama, I wouldn't watch TV on Oct. 31 when he suits up against Ray Lewis. The Ravens also visit the Eagles in preseason on Aug. 20. I can never understand why the NFL can't avoid matching up regular-season opponents in the bogus preseason.

Other News Items

• Bigger Breasts for Free: Join the Army — "The New Yorker magazine reports in its July 26th edition that members of all four branches of the U.S. military can get face-lifts, breast enlargements, liposuction and nose jobs for free — something the military says helps surgeons practice their skills."

• Duke to Provide Freshmen With iPods — An interesting marketing strategy by Apple, as this will only lead to great sales on the iTunes service. (Unless the songs are all free. Something that hasn't been confirmed in a number of reports I've read.) Are similar pacts with colleges and video game consoles next?

• Halfway to Oscar — MSNBC's list of movies you might see garner Oscar nods come next February.

• You Cannot Possibly Be Serious — USA Today on the proliferation of sarcastic news programs, including Da Ali G Show, The Daily Show and Comedy Central's Crossballs.

• We'll Always Have Paris — The New York Post on a one-man off-Broadway comedy about Paris HIlton auditioning for the fifth spot on The View.

• ConventionBloggers.org — A community site for bloggers participating in the Democratic National Convention. (Bill Clinton's speech.) My buddy Pat Stack pontificates on Monday's affairs, comparing Slick Willie to Master P and noting Kerry's Catholic faith as one reason he likes him as a presidential candidate. Hey, Pat, separation of church and state, dude. I get creeped out when Bush talks about relying on god to guide him through decisions. I guess most politicians are church-goers, though — even if only because it looks good to voters. I'd still love to see a Congressman say he gets advice from Allah and see what Americans think of that.

• Hefty Beauty Wins Miss Chubby Contest — "Weighing in at 416 pounds, Giovanna Guidoni, is not your average beauty contest winner. But then again, Italy's annual Miss Cicciona competition is not your average beauty contest."