Rasputin was known as the Mad Monk, but that's before his penis went on display at the first Russian museum of erotica in St. Petersburg. Now he shall forever be known as Foot Long Johnson. My god, look at the size of that appendage. But what interests me most about the picture to the right is the stunning blonde with the full lips, perfect hair and flawless skin. Thank you, President Reagan, for opening doors with Russia, for I shall be on a plane within the next two days to track down this hottie.
Other News Links:
• Ex-President Bush Makes Birthday Skydive — Air Bush takes flight in celebration of No. 41's 80th birthday. How'd ya like to be the Secret Service agent on that detail?
• Rodney Dangerfield Still Smoking Dope at 82 — My man definitely gets respect from his dealer. (Thanks, Shumpy)
• O.J. Plans Reality TV Show Called 'Juiced' — Think "Punk'd" but with Aston Kutsher replaced by a double-murderer. You thought Justin Timberlake was reduced to a pussy before. Wait till O.J. jumps out of the bushes and yells, "You've been Juiced!"
• O.J., 10 Years Later — Bill Simmons writes perhaps his most serious piece for ESPN.com, but he still manages to reference MTV's Real Word for the 1,000th straight column. His take on why O.J. is straight-up guilty is basically what I've been saying for a decade: "... they played the race card, arguing the LAPD was calculating enough to arrive at a crime scene and, within about 10 minutes of digesting what had happened, hatch a convoluted plan to frame Simpson because he was African-American ... even though they didn't have any idea if he had an alibi or was even in the country at the time."
• Ex-'Family Ties' Actor Accused of Drunk Driving — Little Andy got his hands on a little brandy, then went for a spin. (Link found on A Lifetime of Confusion)
• No Sex Please — We're Japanese — "Marriages, births and hanky-panky are all spiraling downward with troubling implications for the nation's future." No wonder Mike Mussina was so pissed about having to pitch Opening Day in Japan.
• Gene Simmons: 'I Don't Like Handlers' — A Reuters interview with KISS' supreme marketer on the eve of his new solo release "Asshole." The always insightful Simmons says he wishes he'd stood up to Ace Frehley and Peter Criss "sooner when they were destroying themselves," that drugs "this time and every time" is the biggest mistake artists make, and that there's not enough KISS merchandise, because a lot of it sells out.
• Reagan's Shameful Legacy — Controversial columnist Ted Rall goes to town on the recently deceased ex-prez, saying "Reagan's quack economists trashed scholarships and turned welfare recipients into homeless people and refused to do anything about the AIDS epidemic, all so they could fund extravagant tax cuts for a tiny sliver of the ultra rich."
• Killer, Coward, Conman — Good Riddance, Ronnie Reagan — Greg Palast's column makes Rall's commentary read like a glowing eulogy. He calls Nancy Reagan "a skull and crossbones prancing around in designer dresses" and described Reagan's economic policy as "the New Meanness, bringing starvation back to America so that every millionaire could get another million."
• Mary-Kate & Ashley: Jailbait No More — Considering the 13-year age difference, it still won't be socially acceptable for me to get a boner for these girls for another five years or so. But congrats to you younger guys out there.
• Soviet Wrestlers Mourn Ronald Reagan — Slate catches up with Nikita Koloff , whose anti-American act fired up WWF fans in the '80s. Nikita Khrushchev also fondly remembers The Great Communicator.
Reagan's quack economists also brought about the largest peacetime expansion of the US economy in US history, halted inflation, and created jobs at a breakneck pace. It's true that the rich got richer-- everyone got richer. The income gap between the highest segments of the economy and the lowest segments of the economy narrowed to it's slimest margins in the second half of the 20th century.
Compare this to the "economic boom" of the 90's during the tenure and favorite son of the Doomocrats: an economic expansion built on shotty economic principle and an overvalued US stock market. Remember trying to get rich on tech stocks or dotcoms? How'd that go for you? Clinton's economy created lots of jobs in the income-stagnant service sector, hardly a solid underpinning for a sustained future. I think the best line from 1998 was, "Look at all the jobs the economy's created-- I've got 3 of them myself!" Clinton's go-go 90s with little real income expansion tolled the final days of the single-income household, laid the foundation for distrust of the seemingly-fragile stock market, and came to a close with an economic structure starting to flag, starting to break down, and dramatically falling to ruin. If Clinton could have been in office for two more years, he would have been blamed for the trashed burnout of his economic leadership, not W.Bush.
Reagan never took his coat off in the Oval Office. He considered the job of President to be the highest office in the land, the most important calling in the world, and the role of a lifetime. He said that the job demanded a coat-and-tie every day that he was at work.
Compare that to Bill Clinton, who couldn't keep his pants on while in the Oval Office.
Posted by gjoe at June 14, 2004 11:18 AM