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Tuesday, May 25, 2004

When the Calgary Flames Win, We All Win
There are two types of content that you almost never find on this site: gratuitous nudity and anything related to hockey. One's disgusting, and the other you can find on porn sites everywhere.

Put them, together, though, and we're all over it. Especially when it serves as a study of Canadian culture. Or, as I like to call it, female Calgary fans celebrating the Flames' Western Conference triumph by exposing their breasts in public.

I didn't even know the NHL postseason had started before links got sent to me this week to these sites:

FlamesGirls.com — Ten pages of photos of drunk girls doing their Playboy test shoots on the street after Calgary's victories over the San Jose Sharks, the selfish bastards who tried in vain to prevent such debauchery from occurring.

Calgary Girls Gone Wild — A blog-formatted site served at a curiously named domain of AmericanEvil.com. Updated every day with user-submitted pics from Calgary party scenes, also known as streets full of drunks in pure ecstasy over the Flames scoring goals off people's heads and skates and shoulders, or whatever defines success in the NHL.

What do these scenes say about Calgary? Apart from the fact that it's home to my now-favorite NHL team (Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals Tuesday night in Tampa Bay; 8 p.m. ESPN), and that the local economy is supported greatly by sales of digital cameras and booze, these acts mean the Flames historically suck. Not that I'm complaining, but you don't see fans of the New York Yankees, Duke Blue Devils or Los Angeles Lakers exposing themselves for merely advancing to the championship round. I wonder if Joey Sindelar's wife jumped in a pond naked after he broke his 14-year PGA Tour losing streak last week. And perhaps NYC females should celebrate, in said fashion, after taking a rare cab ride in which the taxi driver never pulls out his cell phone.

What do these scenes say about the Internet? Nothing spreads quicker than a site full of tits. I don't know if John Kerry's website has some hidden wet t-shirt photos starring his daughter, but I don't think it would be a bad idea. Keep an eye out the next two weeks to see how much attention, both mainstream and otherwise, these sites generate. Expect to see revenge pictures of airbrushed ex-girlfriends submitted as celebration photos as well as porn sites jumping on the bandwagon by blasting search engines with keywords. And maybe some civil crackdowns as well, such as Calgary cops preventing girls from flashing in public unless they do it in front of police cars.

As for the NBA Playoffs: What were Peyton Manning and Marvin Harrison doing seated next to each other at Monday night's Pistons-Pacers game? If I'm a Colts fan, I gotta be freaking out that my team doesn't have a rule against perhaps the NFL's best quarterback and best wide receiver being in such close proximity. What if someone sets off a really huge stink bomb? Let's use some common sense here. I don't wanna see Derek Jeter and Jason Giambi so much as in the same neighborhood when they're hitting strip clubs after Yankees games.

An a serious sorta-related note, one of the biggest arguments I ever had with my mom was when she told me a story about a married couple she knew who refused to fly together out of concern that a disaster would leave their kids parentless. She thought this strategy contained a shred of reasonable thinking. I thought their fear had already rendered their lives over. Pussies. It enrages me to this day, and I don't even know those people.

Other Sports Links:

The Sports Guy's Ramblings — As much as I wish he'd stick with sports — me and like everyone else — he's still the best out there. One of many gems: "It's too bad you could never coordinate this with 40,000 people, but the next time Barry Bonds comes up, if everyone at SBC Park cheered all at once, and then someone in the right-field stands threw a ball into the bay so all those losers in the boats would dive in for the ball ... and then this happened like five or six times ... I mean, that would be kinda fun, right?"

King Kaufman Remembers Baseball Writer Doug Pappas — One of the most influential baseball scribes has died at 43, of heat prostration while hiking. Salon's sports columnist reflects on the career of the Society for American Baseball Research leader, whose work using statistics to measure baseball trends and efficiencies influenced the minds of fans and industry insiders alike.

The Brushback — A recently found sports spoof site. Includes such headlines as "Bonds To Play Left Field In Giant Reclining Chair" and "Roy Jones Jr. Writes Rap Song About Getting His Head Bashed In."

Complete List of Baseball's Retired Numbers — Reggie Jackson's No. 9 with the Oakland A's is the latest to be hung up forever. As far as I can tell, Nolan Ryan has his number retired by the most teams: three (Angels No. 30 and Astros and Rangers No. 34). I'm not counting Jackie Robinson's No. 42, which has been retired by all teams.

Category: Sports | Permalink | Post a Comment (29)

Comments: When the Calgary Flames Win, We All Win

I now know who I am routing for to win the stanley cup. Go Flames!!! I cant wait for the stanley cup victory celebration.

Posted by at May 25, 2004 12:31 AM

Was Lou Gehrig's #3 the first number to be retired?

I think I remember reading this, but not sure.

Posted by art at May 25, 2004 7:48 AM

Amazing, the city only has 1 million people, yet it seems like everyone has tits are and willing to show them. I've been there but never during a Cup run, next time gotta go during a Cup run, if there ever is one again. Go FLAMES!!

Posted by Ayan at May 25, 2004 8:24 AM

I want Tampa to win the Cup. They beat the Flyers in game 7 and I can't stand to see them lose to Calgary after all of that. Besides, doesn't Calgary have enough already? They have women running the streets naked.

After game 6, there were men running naked (beleive me they should have remained clothed) down South St. in Philly...not a shirtless woman anywhere.

I love the Flyers but they fuck it up this time every year. I feel like it is the movie Groundhog Day.

Posted by Cass at May 25, 2004 9:30 AM

Still can't understand why you don't like hockey... I guess a sport without fat guys, chewing tobacco, Barry Bonds, five minutes between pitches, and endless crotch grabbing just isn't as exciting as the sport with all that (and more). As a former college player and current washed up beer league player I will take it upon myself to show you the beauty of hockey and convert you to an avid fan, maybe with the help of some fine Calgary femmes if all else fails.

Posted by RobCit at May 25, 2004 9:44 AM

Art: Yeah, Gehrig was the first major leaguer to have his number retired, in 1939, but as No. 4, which was his place in the lineup. Ruth was No. 3. The Yanks were one of two teams to begin wearing numbers on the backs of their jerseys, in 1929. The Yanks have never had names on the backs of their jerseys, however.

Rob: Did you watch last year's baseball playoffs? Specifically the A's-Sox, Cubs-Braves, Yanks-Sox and Cubs-Marlins series? Can you honestly reduce that drama to crotch-grabbing fat guys?

Here's an article I wrote for TIME.com last fall on why the World Series is America's best championship event:


Here's a bit of what I wrote about the NHL Finals:

"Best overtime in sports? Maybe. The puck flies from one end to the other quickly, looking to bounce off someone's stick or skate or face. Is that any more exciting than extra innings in the World Series or an overtime period in the Super Bowl?"

Posted by Paul Katcher at May 25, 2004 12:07 PM

This is obviously a discussion for another arena (or rink) but until the next time at Tra's.....

I did watch those series and while I was interested (enough to watch from Cancun where I was for the Yanks Sox series) I still don't think they hold a candle to the hockey playoffs. To answer the points you made in the article......

as much weight. - Granted - begrudgingly only because of the number of fans. I dare say that the opposite would be true in Canada.

back to back to back games - only because it doesn't take so much out of the athlete that they can't play the next night. Imagine back to back to back football games? They would be dead. That's because it actually takes something out of a guy when they play hockey or football.

Everyone gets to be hero - game winning goals are scored all the time by the most unlikely of players. Ken Morrow even had an overtime winner against the Rangers years ago. Ken Morrow scores about as much as Richard Simmons....

Mound celebration - goal crease celebration. What about Messier or Bourque raising Lord Stanley? Same emotion.

Uniqueness of starting pitchers - One player difference does not make for two new teams. It does change the game more than any other position but it's not a different team. Different referees change the face of a hockey game entirely. (One tight with penalties - one who lets them play) Different umps never seem to make a difference to a baseball game. (I may be wrong in this one because I can imagine different interpretations of the strike zone making it more or less difficult for a specific pitcher as compared to a different pitcher)

Baseball Fever - consider me immune. Any sport that counts Fernando Valenzuela an athlete just doesn't sit well with me.

Posted by RobCit at May 25, 2004 8:32 PM

That Flames fan looks like Alyssa Milano !!

Posted by horny guy at May 26, 2004 1:05 PM

Here's another site, http://www.calgarygonewild.com , I think i'm going to have to make a trip to Calgary soon! ;)

Posted by nice tits at May 27, 2004 6:00 PM

I live in Calgary and I am haveing the best time of my life as you said these acts mean the Flames historically suck. We do we have have not made the playoffs in 8 years and the last time we won the cup was 15 years ago. So ya we are partying it up we had 30 thousand people running down 17th ave after we beat the sharks. But out of all that only 2 people got arrested and that was for trying to flip cars. So the cops dont care if some girls show off there tits some even get right naked what I am saying here is Flames are going to take the cup and you watch from where ever you are how big of a party we are going too have I will get as many pics for everyone that I can

Posted by home of Calgary at May 28, 2004 12:37 AM

I live in Calgary and I am haveing the best time of my life as you said these acts mean the Flames historically suck. We do we have have not made the playoffs in 8 years and the last time we won the cup was 15 years ago. So ya we are partying it up we had 30 thousand people running down 17th ave after we beat the sharks. But out of all that only 2 people got arrested and that was for trying to flip cars. So the cops dont care if some girls show off there tits some even get right naked what I am saying here is Flames are going to take the cup and you watch from where ever you are how big of a party we are going too have I will get as many pics for everyone that I can

Posted by home of Calgary at May 28, 2004 12:37 AM

First let me say, I've lived in Tampa all 20 years of my life, and I would like nothing more than to see the Lightning bring home Lord Stanley's Cup. Now, if only the Devil Rays didn't suck...

Secondly, how can you not love hockey? I mean I never see sports on TV since I barely watch TV, but there are only two sports events that can match the excitement of ANY hockey game: the Super Bowl (if your team is in it, and of course my team won last year :) ) and the Florida - Florida State football game (not true for many people outside of Florida, however).

Third, baseball may be fun to play, but it's the most boring thing to watch ever. I don't care how "dramatic" the World Series was, drama doesn't exist in a game where it can take a minute or two before a person moves.

Though we don't usually watch such sports in the US, the most fun to watch and play could be ranked in this order: Hockey/Rugby, Football, Soccer, Baseball, etc. Besides, in what other sport have you ever seen a team wide fight break out and the refs just let it settle down. Sure, they rush the mound sometimes in baseball, but that's really few and far in between. Of course soccer/rugby hooligans get into huge fights but that's because they're usually irish :)

Posted by joe at May 28, 2004 1:31 AM

In todays day of stress and all other BS that comes with life. I think that a few well played hours of Hockey get the mind away from the problems of today.

We Calgarians love the sport and when we watch the game, we do not give a dam about the colour of your skin, or back ground or religion. As we say here North of the 49th, it is our Game. And we are proud of it, and Proud to call ourselfs

and don't you forget it.

Posted by The Bruce at May 28, 2004 1:46 AM

I too am a Calgarian - and I have a new found love for hockey and the Calgary Flames. As if this is anything new...boobies. If you head down to Tampa Bay during spring break or even Mazatlan - the 'Girls Gone Wild' Videos are clear evidence that the female chest is fading from the definition of 'nudity'. Boobs are everywhere. I decided to head down to 'The Red Mile' (17 Ave Calgary) to see if all of these pictures were just coincidental factors of a Flame's win and plenty of booze. As my and a buddy cruised up 17th Ave after a Flames game 4 loss to San Jose, a car full of girls requested me to pull over so they could- and i quote "Flash the boys in the patios." from my Jeep. So there I am driving the Red Mile with 3 gals and 1 MOM - (yeah - she was a MILF) - who waited for the 'Show us your Tits!' chant and gave me a rear view mirror full of mamaries.
This is great while it's lasting - however - the disappointing part of it - it took me 10 years to get back into enjoying the game after the last NHLPA strike...and now we are headed in the same direction in September - which will leave me the way i felt a decade ago. So thanks Calgary for the trip to the Stanley Cup Playoffs - Thanks to the Calgary women for the good show, and the destruction of innocence...we'll see ya in 10 - 15 years.

Posted by Grand Master B at May 28, 2004 10:47 AM

I am a flames fan, and I am also the guy who took that picture.

If you want to see more of the same... come to my website.

She is a friend of mine who works at the Calgary Roadhouse.


Paul aka e-pauly.com (flames fan!)

Posted by Paul at May 28, 2004 10:43 PM

Also checkout this website:


Posted by Mithu at May 29, 2004 4:02 AM

I am a "Native" Calgarian, born and raised here, 36Y.O. In '89 I was bouncing back and forth from the East Kootenays in B.C. to Calgary. I was in B.C. when they won the cup, but I was there for some of the Playoffs. Calgary was MUCH smaller then. Celebrations were everywhere and "Electric Avenue" a two block strip of 11Ave. S.W. was the highest concentration of Bars per capita in North America. The street was closed and A News Van was flipped and A Police Car was Vandalised or flipped?

Now Calgary has burst its edges so many times that each time they move the City Limits, the next Sign Post is put up too. It is neat to see how fast it is growing, but the roads can't handle the Traffic. Deerfoot Trail is nearly a complete Freeway with no traffic lights at all. The End of Construction is an eagerly anticipated event that has something to do with Alberta's commitment to the "CanaMex" Corridor.

About the Boobs: Pretty Cool Eh? Calgary has a longstanding reputation as "The Friendliest City in The West" Hospitality has always been a Key in Calgary. Courteous Waves to Acknowledge a driver for letting you in etc.. Now there is Serious Road Rage with horns, fingers, fights, injuries, collisions etc. Boob sightings have been proven to relieve Men's stress. It is Fantastic here.

The Calgary Tower, aka The World's Largest Olympic Torch(1988) has been Lit up for most games and Every Win during the playoffs for People up to 100 Km away to see. (@$500.00/Hr. Cdn.)It is visible to well over a Million People and serves as a Beacon to all that something cool is going on and they come by the thousands from far and wide to see and rejoice.

The people here are great and the Car flags are everywhere! I have found 3 and have them on my car. The Flames Red Jersey is now "The most sold jersey in the History of the NHL"! People with decorated cars, Tin Foil and Stainless Steel Stanley Cup Replicas, creative home and business decorations. Everyone's gettin' into the FLAMES FEVER! Young women these days are far more liberated than ever before. Bisexuality and Lesbianism is rampant here and the girls have gone wild. Many Women find it de-grading, but I say: "If done freely. Right On!" Go Girls Go! Go Flames Go! "Outflash The Lightning!" "When Lightning Strikes, Flames Ignite!"

Posted by Rob McGregor at May 29, 2004 2:44 PM

Hockey playoffs are great - but too long - here I sit two months later still glued to my set. Please excuse the rantings of my fellow country men above - beer commericals here have instilled in them a pride they haven't necessarily earned.

Posted by Another Calgary Guy at May 30, 2004 1:47 AM

We are bringing the cup home, back to Canada - where it belongs!!!


Posted by Calgary Girl at May 30, 2004 12:15 PM

O.k buddy, number one: You say, "When the Flames win, We all Win". We includes you, does it not? If so, then why do you bash the way the girls down here celebrate?! Are you jealouse that New York doesn't have great looking women such as the ones in Calgary? Or just bitter because you are 40 and you want to see some young naked girls? Either way, it seems you havea problem with the way we celebrate down here in Calgary, and if that is the fact, then don't look at the websites advertising it all. Plain and simple buddy. CALGARY IS BRINGIN' HOME THE CUP...NEW YORK IS NOT. DON'T HATE US FOR THE WAY WE CELEBRATE!!!

Posted by Crazy Calgarian at May 30, 2004 4:12 PM

I just have to say I would give my right eye to be spending a week in Calgary ATM. However I'm not, Just had to respond to Cass's comment about feeling like he's in "Groundhog Day"....Try being a Blues Fan Like myself....25 years in the post season and no cup....by the way I turned 25 in January so this is a life long thing for me....

Posted by BurnBoy at May 30, 2004 9:58 PM

About the comment that you don't see the Yankee, Blue Devil or Laker fans celebrate like this after winning a championship (hey brainiac, they did win the Western Conference!), ask Shaq about the police cruiser he paid for after the Lakers won in 2000. Furthermore, how fair is making comparisons between the city of a never-been dynasty to a a city with a team that's won a quarter of the world series in a century, a city with a team that has been in almost half the NBA finals, or a school with a team that has been in the Final Four half the years of the last decade plus? Why not consider other comparisons, like the Chicago Bull's first year, the Detriot Piston's both years, or University of Maryland. Personally, I'd rather see a few breasts than violence. I'd also avoid Mardi Gras if I were you (and there isn't even a game!)

Posted by proxli at May 31, 2004 3:54 AM

Updated to a new server from the original rankme.ca site
and added another 75 Calgary flames pictures


Posted by James at May 31, 2004 9:57 AM

Calgary has been partying ever since the play offs started, there was flashing and mahem on 17th ave after we won game 7 against Vancouver in overtime. This is not a phenomenom that occured out of the blue after we won the western conference championship. It started back in April and it keeps growing, the whole city is engulfed by it, ie: businessmen are wearing Flames jerseys to work.

It has been a fulltime job for all of the fans here in Calgary and Canada, going to the pubs and partying after every game, we really understand what the players are going through because we are doing it on a very small scale, its hard work!

Hockey is an exciting sport, but lets not forget Canada's national sport, Lacrosse. Its a blast to watch and the Calgary Rougnecks won the NLL Champion's Cup in front of a sold out crowd at The Dome, this year has been the most exciting for sports fans in Calgary and all of Canada!

Posted by Trevor at May 31, 2004 3:17 PM

Vive les filles à poil! De Calgary ou d'ailleurs!

Posted by Francis Berthiaume at June 2, 2004 7:56 PM











==========GO FLAMES GIRLS,============

Posted by NoXious at June 3, 2004 1:35 AM

Obviously you dont watch wild-on down in NY more nipples in Florida in one spring break than in calgary in one series.

Posted by way to go calgary at June 3, 2004 3:24 PM

Well don't be rude, please post the web site for all these nipples you talk of in Florida. Share will all of us.

Posted by at June 5, 2004 12:40 PM

hey.... lacrosse guy lets not go goin off braggin too much....how many tits did u see when they won??? how much pussy did u get when they won??? going to the red mile for one night would have more ass tits and pussy than 10 years of roughnecks lacrosse.

and yes i am from calgary

Posted by at July 11, 2004 1:58 AM
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