I leave today to be part of Contiki's European Magic group tour for 50 people aged 18 to 35. From now till I return on May 7, I'll check my e-mail as opportunities exist and maybe post here if I have something of interest to pass along. But I don't envision many major updates till I get back, when I'll publish a huge photo gallery to accompany tales about London, Amsterdam, Munich, Venice and Paris.

(Update: Actually, I have wanted to get a regular online mailbag going, and those should be easy to answer on the road. So if you have questions for me about this site, New York, sports, major life decisions like which beer to drink, or anything I've failed to cover previously, just shoot me an e-mail with "Mailbag" in the subject line.)

My friends are worried my mouth is gonna write traveler's checks my body can't cash, but I've been working hard to learn the languages of the countries in which I will be a guest. Some of the phrases I have mastered are:

England: Must all 12 of you blow smoke in my face at once?

Holland: Dat wat is u zegt dat ik zowel de zak van onkruid als rondborstige brunette voor $150 heb? (So what you are saying is that I have both the bag of weed and the busty brunette for $150?)

Germany: Dank für das Bier, ma'am. Kümmern Sie sich, um wenn ich ein Photo Ihrer enourmous Brüste mache? (Thanks for the beer, ma'am. Mind if I take a picture of your enormous breasts?)

Italy: Potete dirmi dove la pizza famosa di Ray's più vicina è individuata? (Can you tell me where the nearest Ray's Famous pizza is located?

France: En Amérique, nous roulons un bâton de de dessous deordorant nos bras ainsi parti couru par don't de poussins comme cela. (In America, we roll a stick of deodorant under our arms so chicks don't run away like that.)

Feel free to talk amongst yourselves in my often-ignored forum. And I guess this is a good time to empty out the tank of links:

Web Finds:

• The 50 Worst Artists in Music History — Blender ranks the rank. But really, wouldn't you have rather have had a career playing music for Goo Goo Dolls than writing for Blender?

• Flatulence Deodorizer — "Patients with intestinal gas conditions ... can go out to public places without fear of emitting embarrassing odors," says Dr. Rae Seitz M.D. (Link found on ApeChild.com)

• Heavy Metal Belly Dancers — Three chicks shake their stuff to Guns 'n' Roses, Metallica and more.

• JohnKerryIsADoucheBagButImVotingForHimAnyway.com — Really not that great of a site, but how 'bout that domain name?

• Quiz: Programming Language Inventor or Serial Killer? — I got only six out of 10, so I'm gonna be really cautious next time someone tells me he's a coder. (Thanks, Pee Wee)

• A Night on the Town With C.C. DeVille — Fans of Metal Sludge write in with reports of the Poison guitarist partyin' it up in L.A. in the style of Vince Neil — totally fucked up.

• Video: Hold our Own Boobs — A Saturday Night Live skit featuring Sarah Michelle Gellar pimping Hold Your Own Boobs magazine.

News:

• Cedric the Entertainer to Star in Back to School Remake — You don't see a lot of black dudes on diving teams, so I guess it'll vary from the original in at least that capacity.

• Misys Gives Pecker Head Job — My friend Larry shared this story with perhaps the greatest headline ever.

• Onion Taken Seriously, Film at 11 — A Wired feature on how the satirical publication is often believed as fact.

• That Old Feeling at 100 — TIME's Richard Corliss celebrates the 100th edition of his online columns, dealing mostly about pop culture from days gone by. Dare I say they're delightful?

• New York Times Obit: Estée Lauder — The cosmetics queen, who died Saturday at her home in Manhattan, was the only female among 20 Builders and Titans selected for the TIME 100 retrospective of the 20th century.

Sports:

• NFL Draft Winners and Losers — SI.com's Don Banks on the who made out (Matt Millen and the Lions) and who seemingly crapped out (Chiefs).

• Hardball Hoedown — Stuff reviews five new baseball video games. I can't even play mine till the Yanks straighten things out.

• Lawton Reports Theft of $117,000 — You know baseball salaries are out of whack when guys like the Twins outfielder are keeping so much bling-bling in their hotel rooms.

• Sports Stars Lost in Service — Inspired by the tragic loss of former Arizona Cardinals defensive back Pat Tillman, MSNBC's Joe Concha recounts other fallen heroes of the sporting world who gave their lives in the service.

• Women's Clothing for Yanks Fans — Show your support for Jeter, A-Rod and the rest of the guys who can't get a hit. And cover your breasts at the same time.

New York:

• Manhattan Waiter — A blog that takes your behind the scenes of the restaurant industry.

• Dodgeball Social — Works with your cell phone to let you know if any of your friends are within a 10-block radius of your current standing.

• New York Bloggers Event, May 3 — Looks like 12 panelists are going to share their expertise in blogging. Is this really that hard? Pick a template and start writing. And whenever possible, post pictures of hot women.

• 100 Years of Times Square — MSNBC's audio and visual experience dedicated to a century of one of the world's most famous gathering spots.

• NYCBP.com Booze Cruise Set for May 27 — Tickets go on sale today.