I didn't know whether or not the movie was going to be worth $12, but immediately after donning the 3D glasses I was sure of one thing: I was gonna throw up. Everything seemed so blurry and loud, I felt like I was at a Doors concert, circa 1970. But my sensorium readjusted, and the only chunks that ended up in my buddy's lap were a few misguided Goobers.

NASCAR 3D: The IMAX Experience is sponsored by AOL for Broadband and, in true AOL fashion, the company produced a product that's reduced to the least-common denominator. In this case, the brain-dead. It's essentially a racing version of Ken Burns' 1994 masterpiece documentary Baseball, only 4% as long and 4% as engaging. When addressing the tragic death of Dale Earnhardt, whose fatal crash occurred on the final turn of the final lap of the 2001 Daytona 500, narrator Keifer Sutherland told us it changed NASCAR racing forever. But he didn't tell us what changed or why it changed. Just as you'd expect from AOL, the McDonald's Happy Meal of content.

Technically, the movie was sensational. As it traced racing's roots from Junior Johnson to Richard Petty to Tony Stewart, the images were sharp, the audio was crisp and the 3D experience was legit. You could almost reach out and grab the fans' mullets, smell their armpits and hand their kids a comb.

Critics have come down on the movie for essentially being a 40-minute NASCAR press release. Well, what did they expect? Of course they weren't going to point out how this business phenomenon barely cracks the radar in the Northeast's urban areas. Of course they weren't going to address why so many fans hate Jeff Gordon. And of course all the tight camera shots of fans included an abundance of attractive females while all the wide shots were almost 100% males and skanks.

If you go in thinking it's gonna be a thought-provoking cinematic masterpiece, you might as well skip NASCAR 3D: The IMAX Experience. If you wanna see a loose car tire flying at you or hear the roar of 40+ cars zooming past you at 200 mph, this one's worth checking out.

In Five Words or Less: Typical AOL - Good, Not Great

Other NASCAR 3D: The IMAX Experience Links:

• NASCAR 3D - The IMAX Experience — The movie's official site.

• Metacritic Reviews — Media nationwide give it a 55 out of 100. The New York Daily News, interestingly enough, give its highest rating of 88/100. The New York Times says, "Those seeking a serious sociological examination of the role of stock car racing in late capitalist America will probably want to search elsewhere, but audiences looking for a kick will find one — almost literally — in Mr. Wincer's work. "

• IMDB.com User Comments — The public chimes in and, of course, they love it. Then again, these same people consider Red Lobster a decent place to eat at.