"Each Coin is protected in a clear capsule for protective purposes and presented in a Velour jewelry box as well as accompanied by a certificate of authenticity!" Uh-huh. And who authorized it? P.T. Barnum? Michael Milken? Milli Vanilli? Roberto Alomar's career with the Mets? Mo Vaughn's career with the Mets? Tom Glavine's career with the Mets? Jeff Kent's, Jeromy Burnitz's, Roger Cedeno's ... oh, you get the point.

"Limited edition of only 5000!" That's the same number minted for the 2003 NL "champion" Chicago Cubs. Amazingly, that product has not been discontinued. Sir, a Mr. Bartman on Line 1.

Please be advised this product will ship approx. Oct. 20th. Or never. Aaron Boone's home run landed in the left-field seats at Yankee Stadium on Oct. 17, 2003, at 12:16 a.m. That was when car horns exploded around the city and strangers everywhere hugged. No bullshit.

Now if you want the real deal, sports fans, order up some Yankees 2003 pennant-winning merchandise, commemorating our sixth world Series appearance in eight years. The Red Sox have advanced to only four World Series (1946, 1967, 1975, 1986) in over eight decades, losing each in Game 7. I tell ya, when it comes to losing, you guys are gold! Can't wait for the 2004 version to be discontinued, as well.

MAJOR UPDATE! Just found on eBay: This poster commemorating Boston's 1986 World series "victory," thanks to a ninth-inning grand slam by Bill Buckner. Way to go, Sox!

Other Web Finds:

• Worst Sex Scenes in Film History — Was gonna lead the site before the Red Sox coin came through. RetroCrush puts together another fun feature, this time starring Joe Pesci (ugh), Billy Bob Thornton (double-ugh) and Ned Beatty (excuse me for a minute).

• Take a Pledge of Technical Virginity — If it's up the ass, it's as safe as abstinence, right? That's what these satirical testimonials from teens contend. (Thanks, Tracy)

• The Singhson's — What The Simpsons would be like if it were situated not in Springfield but in Bombay. I've been meaning to link to this forever, but it had kept being shutting down, presumably from heavy traffic. But you know how the Internet breaks down: 90% porn, 5% Simpsons, 3% fantasy sports, 2% Simpsons porn.

• Iraq on the Record — Rep. Henry A. Waxman's "searchable collection of 237 specific misleading statements about the threat posed by Iraq made by the five Administration officials most responsible for providing public information and shaping public opinion on Iraq: President Bush, Vice President Cheney, Defense Secretary Rumsfeld, Secretary of State Powell, and National Security Advisor Rice."

• The Web's Most Influential Authors — Blogrunner's empirical study of whose work gets linked to the most. A host of New York Times writers dominate the top 20. I cannot, for the life of me, figure out the supreme popularity of No.1 blog heavyweight InstaPundit. Seems to be filled with rather ordinary opinion, in a rather ordinary writing style, filled with links that aren't descriptive enough for my tastes ("not gone remarked," "hedging," "blog," "this"). It's like a page of "click here" links that are inherently unconvincing. (Originally found on j-mo.com)