Like drinking in the daytime? Is your boss a prick? If you answered yes to either question, welcome to the week of your dreams.
Work on that fake cough Monday and Tuesday at the office, hack around till your coworkers are completely grossed out, and plant the seeds for sick days that will bring with it all-day St. Patrick's Day parties on Wednesday, followed by the 32 first-round games of March Madness on Thursday and Friday. Worry about S&P indexes and P/E ratios next week. This week's acronyms are NCAA and FUBAR.
The NCAA Tournament field of 65 is set, and here are some story lines to follow (besides liquid lunch specials in your area):
St. Joe's: Least-Respected No. 1 Seed Ever: Most people think the Hawks deserved a No. 1 seed, but they'll be absent from just about everyone's Final Four picks. Billy Packer is basically a dead man if he ever steps foot on the Philadelphia campus, and Mel Gibson didn't have to defend his work as much as coach Phil Martelli did Sunday night. I love when live TV gets testy. Reminds me of when Mel Kiper Jr. blasted the Colts for drafting Trev Alberts over Trent Dilfer, and Indianapolis GM Bill Tobin fired back by saying, "Who the hell is Mel Kiper? My mailman knows more about the draft than he does."
Let's All Kiss the ACC's Ass! Five teams among the top 16 seeds? What, they couldn't fit them all in? I'm waiting for someone to say Florida State would go undefeated in the Big 12. North Carolina was 8-9 in conference play and got rewarded with a 6 seed, which means they're ranked between 21-24 nationally. What do the Tar Heels have to do to not be ranked? I can bitch all I want about Maryland getting a 4 seed after losing 9 of its first 15 conference games, before getting hot for one week, but a second-round matchup looms with my national champs. Talk is cheap until then, hopefully.
Show More Vitale/Hooters Commercials! I'm not entirely sure ACC-lover "Dukie V." understood that people were actually going to see these goofy spots. When Cue Ball says to the Hooters Air stewardess, "But I'm a captain, baby!" I want to tell him to keep it in the bedroom, but I'm laughing too hard. Have you ever seen a 64-year-old man so happy to get served a plate of chicken wings? Tiki Barber (jerk chicken restaurant) and Jason Giambi (Old Spice deodorant) have been knocked down a notch on the list of Sports Personalities Humiliated by Bad Commercials.
Bobby Knight to Blow a Gasket? Is there a single person outside of Lubbock, Texas, who isn't penciling in Charlotte and laughing giddily at the prospects of another live-TV meltdown by General Robert Montgomery Knight? Happens every year.
Potential Second-Round Matchups: As fun as the first round typically is, the second round is even better, as reps from the stronger conferences go head-to-head. Some great potential weekend matchups include: Providence (Big East) vs. Kansas (Big 12), Florida (SEC) vs. Wake Forest (ACC), Duke (ACC) vs. either Seton Hall (Big East) or Arizona (Pac-10), Louisville (C-USA) vs. Mississippi State (SEC), Syracuse (Big East) vs. Maryland (ACC), DePaul (C-USA) vs. UConn (Big East). Michigan State vs. Gonzaga would be flat-out huge in terms of how it affects perception of the Big Ten and mid-majors.
My Final Four Picks: I like Kentucky to get past Kansas and Georgia Tech in the St. Louis bracket. Pittsburgh over Oklahoma State and Wake Forest in the East Rutherford bracket. Duke over Cincinnati and Texas in Atlanta. And Connecticut over N.C. State and Stanford in Phoenix.
(Post your picks in the comments area below.)
Oh no. Dick Vitale just gave his Final Four picks and they match mine. This can't be good.
Posted by Paul Katcher at March 14, 2004 10:05 PM