MSNBC.com presents an interactive airport security screening test to see how well you would thwart the dastardly intentions of terrorists. The feature includes creepy music, a narrator with a lisp and heckling passengers who grow impatient when you take too long to screen their rash ointments and sex toys. Travelers are not visible, so you can't engage in profiling. So you'd have to screen baggage of white women with the same scrutiny as that of Middle Eastern men. Makes sense to me!
Terrorists take note: I got a perfect score. So if you see me in an airport making $10 an hour while half-asleep, best take your business elsewhere. You've got a better chance meeting a horde of virgins at the Chicken Ranch than you do by taking down a plane under my watch. Praise be to Steinbrenner.
Other Web Finds:
• Rate My SU Class — A site where Syracuse University students can rank everything from classes to campus bars to local strip clubs. Maggie's, my happy hour joint when I was a 17-year-old freshman, gets the lowest rating among bars, but not according to some guy who said: "I used to puke in this bar constantly and they'd still give me drinks. Gotta give props to any bar that allows that."
• A Practical Examination of Maria Menounos' Breasts — ApeChild.com investigates whether Entertainment Tonight pre-Oscars host's breasts are real or real expensive.
• Hog's Breath Saloon's Homemade Bikini Winners — I'll be down in Key West in five weeks. Keep the beer and peel-n-eat shrimp on ice for me!
• Playboy.com Interviews Rick Saloman — A Q&A with a man so smart he filmed a home-made porno with night vision instead of, I don't know, turning on the lights, maybe? At least we find out who "fucking Fred" is.
• Great Quotes from Great Skeptics — Predictions that didn't exactly pan out. Said Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, in 1943: "I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
I sucked a$$ at that one...
50%
6 false alarms
Posted by Lisa at March 9, 2004 9:23 AM