Just when you thought Carl Lewis' national anthem would go down as the worst singing performance ever, along comes William Hung, American Idol contestant and Ricky Martin wannabe.
Hung achieved national prominence a few weeks ago when he auditioned for Simon and Co. by performing She Bangs so poorly that judge Randy Jackson covered his face to hide his uncontrollable laughter. Folks, when FOX reality-show personalities are masking their emotions to not embarrass you, rock bottom has been reached. After being asked to stop way, way too long into his routine, Hung dropped the bombshell that he had no formal musical training. (Video of Hung's Idol audition can be found on WilliamHung.net.)
Last week, the 21-year-old Berkeley student resurfaced at a Cal volleyball game (story and video | pictures), where he performed his staple routine, surrounded by a bevy of female dancers. He's now a big hit on eBay and has even been offered a recording contract.
As good as things are now for Hung, they could get better. If music history has taught us anything about the pairing of ugly dudes and hot chicks — Rick Ocasek and Paulina Porizkova, Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley, Lyle Lovett and Julia Roberts, Vince Neil and Heidi Mark — you can expect this guy to steal one of Hugh Hefner's seven girlfriends sometime soon. So he's got that to look forward to, plus a lifetime of phallic innuendo in every headline about him.
And I eagerly await a future Celebrity Boxing match between him and Subway's Jared Fogle. When did they stop airing those things? I recently re-read a preview of Celebrity Boxing 2 that I wrote almost two years ago. Has it been that long since Buttafuoco kicked Chyna's ass?
Other Web Finds:
• Video Clips From Ferris Bueller's Day Off — Ferris went on to Broadway riches, Ben Stein paired with Jimmy Kimmel on an Emmy-award-winning game show, and Ed Rooney got busted for child porn. (Thanks, Art)
• Facts on Your Date of Birth — Find out the day of the week you were born on, plus the day's headlines and a list of celebs born on the same date. Oh, if you're looking for a present for my birthday on Saturday (the 28th) a deed to a bar in Key West would be nice.
• What Peanuts Character Are You? — I'm Charlie Brown. So I guess I have a lifetime of bad fortune to look forward to. Thanks, Internet!
I am also Charlie Brown. But I was also born on the same day as Chico Marx, William Shatner, and Pat Robertson, who all are of course the exact same type since we are all the same sign. And by the other test, I am also Saddam Hussein.
So maybe Saddam does have WMD's after all. They are just called phasers, you have to know the password of "swordfish" to find them, and they are hidden in the studios of the 700 Club under the Charlie Brown pillows in the green room.
Posted by Eddie at February 22, 2004 4:58 AM