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Thursday, February 12, 2004

ESPN's Sunday Night Football Crew Worse Than Gigli
This week, Sports Illustrated's Dr. Z (Paul Zimmerman) came out with his Sixth Annual TV Commentator Awards, in which he made a most accurate description of Mike Patrick, Joe Theismann and Paul Maguire, who cover ESPN's Sunday Night Football. Wrote Zimmerman, who gave the team one-half star out of five, "Listening to this trio is like sitting in a sports bar and trying to watch a game, and right near you are a bunch of noisy drunks. Hey, will you guys pipe down? I'm trying to watch a game."

A fair assessment, in my eyes, but who knows what ESPN producers are telling them to do, based on the uniqueness of a Sunday night audience. The people viewing those games have already chosen to watch three more hours of football after six hours of previous games, plus pregame and highlight programming. Maybe that audience is perfect for the rah-rah hyperbole and endless Ray Lewis ass-kissing.

And even I now looked forward to Maguire beginning his analysis with the superfluous and grammatically incorrect, "I'm a tell ya what..." If you added that reference to a drinking game, the whole place would be puking by halftime.

Dr. Z. elevates his rating of the Monday night team of Al Michaels and John Madden to three-and-a-half stars. I actually heard Madden — who lives two blocks from me in the Dakota, where John Lennon was shot — say some things that indicate he may have been involved in the pro game at some point in his life, something that's been lacking in his "writing" on ESPN.com and his recent TV work.

And again Zimmerman is down on CBS' Phil Simms, whom I think is great. I never picked up on the inconsistencies Dr. Z. reported. Simms and Greg Gumbel remain my favorite team, their one-and-a-half star notwithstanding.

Other Sports Links:

BDSSP Gives New Meaning to 'Original Programming'SI's John Donovan on FOX Sports Net's Best Damn Sports Show Period!, which I actually enjoy. Yeah, it's smart-ass, but everyone's in on the joke, because the panel consists of athletes and hard-core sports fans.

ESPN.com's Top 50 MLB Roto Players for 2004 — How 'bout Alfonso Soriano at No. 2? I'm as big of a Yanks fan as they come and I don't know what to expect from the guy. Seems like AL pitchers may have figured out his tendency to swing at any breaking pitch within 10 feet of the plate. They also have the Yanks' Gary Sheffield (13), Derek Jeter (17), Jorge Posada (34) and Jason Giambi (36) in the top 40. Tell me again about that vaunted Red Sox offense with Bill Mueller, David Ortiz, Kevin Millar and Jason Varitek coming off career years.

Who's the Most Fertile College Hoops Coach? — CBS SportsLine analyzes the coaching trees of college hoops' venerable sideline deans. Writes Gregg Doyel, "Without 1/10th the credit, [Syracuse's Jim]Boeheim's tree is every bit as vibrant as the hallowed tree of ex-North Carolina coach Dean Smith."

Ken Griffey Jr.'s Ferrari on eBay — Reminds me of when George bought Jon Voight's old car on Seinfeld. Except Voight was never a Yankee killer who turned into a medical insurer's worst nightmare. (Found on SportsByBrooks.com)

FOXSports.com' NCAA Tournet Bracket Projections — Michael Lazarus has defending national champ, and my alma mater, Syracuse getting a No. 7 seed. No prob, we'll run the six W's again. His four No. 1s: Duke, Mississippi State, Stanford and St. Joe's.

Category: Sports | Permalink | Post a Comment (30)


Comments: ESPN's Sunday Night Football Crew Worse Than Gigli

Is it just me, or does McGuire always seem like he's in a race against time when he talks? There's never less than four incomplete thoughts preceding a complete sentence. A look at an instant replay will go something like, "I'm a tell ya wha- here on the inst- look at Tom Bra- If he throws that ba- Bill Belichick's gotta be- yeah, they gotta reverse that call."

Posted by RP at February 12, 2004 5:40 AM

I hate Phil Simms.

Posted by Livia at February 12, 2004 9:51 AM

GREG GUMBEL??? gimme a break!

Posted by jeffcaw at February 12, 2004 10:16 AM

Well, who do you guys like instead?

I'm more of fan of Simms than Gumbel, becuase Gumbel never won a Super Bowl MVP for the Giants.

Posted by Paul Katcher at February 12, 2004 10:31 AM

I really don't have a preference on who I do like. I just really HATE Phil. There are reasons, you would understand if you were a Dolphins fan.

Every game he announced he tore them a new one. Even if they won, it was always... "Oh luck this luck that."

Grrrr it makes me mad talking about it!

Posted by Livia at February 12, 2004 11:00 AM

You know who I really can't stand? Cris Collinsworth. He was a great player, but I cannot stand to listen to him talk.

Posted by Andrew at February 12, 2004 11:33 AM

You have to like Aikman and Stockman, and at least Collinsworth has the balls to say when some players suck. As for McGuire, if I hear him say "Folks, I want you to watch what happens right here", one more time, I'm gonna stick a butter knife in my thigh

Posted by tim at February 12, 2004 11:37 AM

sorry, I meant Aikman and Buck

Posted by tim at February 12, 2004 11:39 AM

Simms is OK. I tend to think he is as an announcer as he was as a QB- very serviceable, professional and competant, but nothing extraordinary.

Troy Aikman? Oy. That I just don't see. He's always struck me as being as dumb as a box of rocks.

Its probably a little bit too late to bring back Howard Cosell (Bruce Campbell and the Necronomicon Ex Mortis notwithtanding), but he was rather maligned in his day, not unlike Dennis Miller was up to his booting. Given time, I think Miller might have been 'The Man'- regardless of his repugnant politics.

Posted by Jeffly at February 12, 2004 1:50 PM

I thought that Dennis Miller just had no place in the Monday night Football booth. What a bizarre decision that was. I did like Dan Fouts, though.

I used to enjoy chillin' on a Saturday afternoon with Keith Jackson and Bob Griese calling Big Ten and Pac-10 college football. They were charming and knew their shit. Better than getting screamed at by Brent Musburger or Mike Patrick.

Posted by Paul Katcher at February 12, 2004 2:06 PM

Paul- Zimmerman should flag himself for putting out a list like this after the world has forgotten about football. If you're going to run a list of best and worst broadcasters, it would be nice if fans could tune in the following week to see if Z's analysis was accurate. For that, I give him 1/2 star for poor timing!

Posted by Conch at February 12, 2004 3:59 PM

I loved Dennis Miller on MNF. He brought something different to the booth and made it a little more entertaining.

Posted by Cory at February 12, 2004 5:26 PM

Definitely Fouts and Aikman off the top of my head. By the way, what happened to the turtle neck wearing Melissa Stark...i mean she would wear that thing in an August preseason game in Miami. She must have been hiding the hickeys Namath was planting on her off camera. Now a Larry Merchant-Joe Namath duo with a bottle of Glenmorangie would be a hoot.

Doesn't Buck do football?? I like that guy at the mike in any sport...

Posted by jeffcaw at February 12, 2004 5:43 PM

Nobody beats Al Michaels and Madden for pure knowledge of the game and flawless timing. Dennis Miller always gave me a headache by half time.
I'm one of the fans still watching Sunday night, and I think if someone would get rid of McGuire, Joey T and Mike Patrick would be OK.

Posted by Neal at February 12, 2004 5:59 PM

I'm big on Al Michaels, he definitely knows his stuff. Probably the best broadcaster in all of sports, if you ask me. And Madden, if nothing else, is entertaining. I'll take that announcing duo, with Bill Walton hobbling along the sidelines.

Posted by RP at February 13, 2004 3:21 AM

I like Al Michaels, Bob Griese and Collinsworth, for the aforementioned not scared to call someone shitty, and I think I'm yet to hear him or Griese kiss Ray Lewis' ass for the 17th time tonight. Madden has to go, he knows his shit but man it just takes too long to get it out and he just CAN"T shut up between plays, not even for a nanosecond.

In general, any Fox broadcast is so awful I turn off the volume and turn up the radio broadcast. There's so much inane chatter and sponsor plugs I can't take it.

Posted by Johnny FlopBoot at February 13, 2004 5:43 PM

I can't really judge the sports analysts, because I invariably turn off the sound after a minute or two because I can't stand the vacuous bullshit banter. Football 'analysts' do seem to be the worst of the lot. The Cubs have a good team to do the broadcasts on WGN, but they're about all I can stomach.

However, whenever I listen to a game on the radio- be it football or baseball or hockey- I find the commentators and the analysts to be less annoying and more knowledgable.

Posted by lucy at February 14, 2004 12:49 AM

i think paul, joe and mike are good for sunday night football not one complaint from me

Posted by steveo at June 19, 2004 7:57 PM

One thing I disagree about is Joe and Mike are ok. But I totally agree Mcgwire sux so bad. He's the worst and I make fun of him alot. I was wondering if you could do one small favor and post a picture of him on this site. I just wanna see one picture of him b4 the season starts.

Posted by Steve at July 31, 2004 10:05 PM

news

Posted by news- at August 22, 2004 7:02 PM

What happened to lead announcer Mike Patrick of Sunday Night Football?

Posted by Rob Bassett at September 12, 2004 9:18 PM

ESPN has announced that Pat Summerall will work the network's NFL Sunday night telecasts in September as regular play-by-play man Mike Patrick recuperates from the triple-bypass surgery he had Aug. 6. Summerall has subbed for Patrick on the network's preseason telecasts

Posted by Marcia Rossignol at September 12, 2004 9:54 PM

There is nothing that gets me as upset as hearing Maguire talk. I'm the type of guy that never really gets angry at anything, but when he talks I want to break things. Listen to the gibberish that comes out of that guys mouth.

"Look at this move here, he pretends like he is going to the right but goes to the left, wow"

"The Denver Broncos should challenge this, it is a fumble" When infact every average joe that watches football knows you cannot challenge a turnover when the whistle is blown.

I hate the man so much, I found this website typing in hate phrases with Paul Maguires name in it.

Posted by Jon at September 13, 2004 12:18 AM

Ever since they began Sunday Night Football, I have always liked Mike Patrick and Joe Theisman in the booth doing the game. Mike's voice was always refreshing, and uplifting to hear play by play compared to many of the "day" play by play men. Joe's knowledge of the game and youthfull sounding voice fills in the stats and color commentary very well. I think they brought in Paul Mcguire to make sure there are no silent moments in the commentary. He fills that shoe only too well. I am sad to see that this year they have replaced Mike Patrick's youthfull and spirited play by play voice, electing to slow and dull things down with the addition of Pat Summerall. He was much better in his younger day, and he doesnt seem to carry the same excitement that originally was brought to us. Please bring Mike Patrick back, or someone comparable. How do you guys feel about the change this year?

Posted by Ken at September 19, 2004 8:33 PM

I heard Mike Patrick was coming back in a couple of weeks. If you're an old school football fan you still must appreciate Pat calling a TD even if he is getting a little long in the tooth. I think it is cool they brought him in while Mike was out.

Posted by BigB at September 20, 2004 7:10 PM

Please bring Mike Patrick back to SNF. Pat Summerall is a snoozer!! A little more excitment, please!!
One more thing, ESPN, you guys have to do better than having Paul McGuire in SNF, come on! "I'll tell you what..." 99% of his dumb and hollow comments start with that; somebody has to tell this guy something about this.

Posted by Agustin at September 21, 2004 2:23 PM

I missed something. What happened to Mike Patrick on Sunday night? I always look forward to Sunday night and when I watched this week I couldn't believe he was not on. I like Pat Summerall but Mike should be on Sunday night. Mike, Joe and Paul make a good team although Paul is rude at times. BRING BACK MIKE!

Posted by Deb at September 21, 2004 2:46 PM

I used to love listening to Pat Summerall when he was working with John Madden, but even in their last few years together you could tell that Pat was starting to lose it a bit. And now he's just horrible to listen to. And is it just me, or could paul and joe be any farther up pat's ass? these guys just seem awestruck by everything pat says and the points he makes are usually worthless. can't wait til mike patrick comes back.

Posted by Mike at October 3, 2004 7:23 PM

I've had it with McGuire! Will somebody PLEASE hand this "wanta-be-coach" a pink slip or direct him to the locker rooms with his critisism and have him report back after Susy. Maybe!

Posted by Charlie at October 10, 2004 9:52 PM

You know, I don't know what the big deal is with Paul Maguire. Everyone hates him. I love the guy, including the rest of the commentator crew. I personally will dearly miss the Sunday Night Football crew. They were the best. Mike Patrick's vioce brought about a sense of joy, Joe Thiesmann knew his stuff, and Paul Maguire kept things exciting. Apparently, plenty of people wanted to watch another three hours of football, even after they watched a full day of it already. There is a reason for that. I think they should do MNF, not freakin' Tirico, who sucks, and Tony Kornheiser, who really sucks. At least they kept Theismann and Suzy Kolber there.

Posted by FootballFan14 at September 10, 2006 7:16 PM
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